Top Chef: More scarves, fewer actual meals

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September 25, 2009

12:17 AM

In remembrance of Mattin, who was sadly sent home last week, each of the “Top Chef” cheftestants dressed up like a confused running-of-the-bulls contestant. I am so happy I got to use that one more time.

This week’s guest judge was “Top Chef” regular Michelle Bernstein. For the Quickfire challenge, they had to create a dish representing duality. Brother Bryan decided that for the first time, he would actually do something simplistic. Bad choice. Along with Ron and Ash, he was in the bottom three. Brother Michael, on the other hand was in the top three, along with increasingly arrogant Eli. But, shockingly, Robin actually won something, increasing her role in the show beyond human interest story-in-chief.

Penn and Teller came to introduce the Elimination Challenge. After a not-so-funny introduction, they finally got to the point. They had to deconstruct a classic dish. To choose who got what, they drew knives. Ron drew paella, which he claimed to have cooked time and time again. But then Eli had to explain to him that part of the paella should be crispy. Who knew? Oh yeah, everyone who has ever seen, eaten, smelled, heard of or cooked paella. Poor Ron, he just brings a whole new dimension to cluelessness. Brothers Michael and Bryan were bickering through their confessionals the whole episode, and it is just getting old. One of them needs to either say something on-camera when they’re in the same room or get kicked off. This sibling rivalry via production assistants just isn’t going to work.

In the end, Brother Michael, Kevin, Ashley and Jen were up top. Jen, who is actually one of the best chefs there, is constantly surprised by any compliment she receives. She and Eli need to get into a room and trade arrogance levels (come on, it could happen) because Jen actually has the goods to back it up. Kevin took home the top prize for his chicken mole, which was surprising considering duck mole almost had him kicked off earlier.

Laurine, Ron and Ash were in the bottom three. Laurine had a problem with her deconstructed fish because apparently you “wouldn’t even be able to put it back together again.” I have no idea what that means, but regardless, it was unappetizing. Ash had no potatoes in his shepherd’s pie, even though the dish is about two-thirds potatoes. Ron ultimately had to pack his knives and go. He was one of my favorites, but he really did do everything wrong. The first challenge he had a good dish, but even then he confused the theme of “vices” for “heroism.” Robin definitely should have gone home, but I guess immunity is a legally binding agreement put together by the suits over at Glad.

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