It’s Always Sunny: Oh what a grand canyon it will be

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September 26, 2009

9:01 PM

This week the “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” gang decided to take an adventure to the Grand Canyon; unfortunately (and predictably), they never made it out of Philadelphia.

The gang was packing up a U-Haul outside of the bar to cross the Grand Canyon off Frank’s bucket list. Dee showed up, having just bought a car, and found out their plan to ditch her because she would have to pee too much during the trip. They all pile into Dennis’s Range Rover, but only a few minutes after leaving, they encounter a slow biker. Logically, they decide to through a beer bottle at him, and after that, he hits a parked car and his bike is crushed. They have to flee after he chases them with a pipe, and when they get back to the bar, they find the Range Rover is busted.

Since they don’t want to give up on their journey, they go ahead and steal Dee’s car while she is in the bathroom. Unfortunately for them, Dee is able to catch up while they are at a stoplight. Dee’s new car is much smaller, so to save room, Dennis and Frank decide to go and sit in the U-Haul.

After finding out that Charlie had never eaten a pear — in addition to never having left Philadelphia — they decided that this was their number one objective. They go to the Italian market, and haggle for everything, including an under-ripe pear, which Charlie eats in whole. Dennis and Frank decide to get wicker furniture for the U-Haul, and then they finally get going.

Back in the car, they decided that they were going to have a drinking game were they tried to name all 50 states. After they had split Virginia into “East Virginia, North Virginia and South Virginia,” they all realized that they needed somebody to drive for them. They picked up an underage runaway to drive the car, and after a few drinks, Dee was serenading him. In the U-Haul, their cigarettes accidently get on the wicker furniture, and the chemicals cause them to pass out.

After a whole debacle of urine thrown out the window of the car and hitting Mac, tensions are at their highest. The sun is about to set and they haven’t even left the city. Everyone piles into the U-Haul except for the runaway and Charlie. The gang falls asleep, and when the wake up at 7 a.m. the next day, they aren’t moving. They get out, and realize they are still at the bar. Charlie explains that he let the runaway take Dee’s new car and leave. After being upset for a moment, everyone just goes back to playing the state game.

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