Bones: Shaken, not stirred

The elaborate cold-open of this episode completely threw me off. For the first minute I was checking to ensure that I was, in fact, watching “Bones.” The initial images were gritty and more in line with a violent action film than the humorous procedural that I’m used to. I mean, literally breaking off a man’s hand to retrieve a briefcase from him? The bone cracking sound was delightfully gratuitous, but left several of my friends squirming. Rarely do we actually observe a crime being committed; we just see the aftermath. That’s more “CSI” than “Bones.” This anomaly sets the tone for the rest of the episode — slightly unconventional, but still somehow the quirky crime solving we know and love.

With murmurings of double agents, diamonds, and murder, it’s time to cue the espionage intrigue. The duo find a dead CIA analyst in the trunk of a silver car of the Casino Royale variety, a Walther PPK on his corpse, and the absence of a silver briefcase with undisclosed contents, creating a threat to national security. Essentially, time to break out every James Bond and 007 reference you can think of. Hearing Hodgins and Wendell adopt British accents and exchange banter about the franchise was definitely a high point in the episode.

I always enjoy when “Bones” crosses over with other departments and agencies beyond the FBI, like the CIA and Department of State. Prime examples of why I love the interplay between them: the neurotic State Department rep Harold Prescott trying (rather inarticulately) to explain to Booth why the case is so important to him personally (“I’m just beginning my career, and you’re old…”) and Booth facing off against Rutledge, throwing down a much-unexpected warrant only to have Rutledge then kick out Brennan due to her lack of security clearance. “I can keep a secret,” she says as she grudgingly leaves them alone.

I was also thrilled to see the return of intern Wendell Bray, the adorably down-to-earth blonde who came out of the slums to pursue his dream of working with Dr. Brennan. I was terrified, however, when said humble beginnings nearly ended his career at the Jeffersonian. The ever socially clumsy Brennan is the one to tell him that his scholarship has fallen through (curse you, failing economy!), but she does so with an attitude that is shockingly cavalier, even for her. How painfully awkward was it to watch her try to comfort him, and rather unsuccessfully at that? A handshake, really? I just wanted to give poor Wendell a hug as he teared up over the cat-mauled body. Thankfully, Brennan’s good will and swollen bank account get the better of her and the Jeffersonian receives “enough anonymous donations for three scholarships.” Hooray for having a loaded lab staff.

A totally irrelevant side note — does anyone else get seriously distracted by the fact that Angela seems to have bedazzled her lab coat? Yes? No? Moving on.

They solve the case, honor the dead analyst as a full-fledged agent, and all is well with the “Bones” world.

This blog wouldn’t be complete, however, without my obligatory gushing over the outrageously adorable concluding scene of this episode. If you don’t enjoy sappy emotionalism, you can end here with thoughts of sweet cars, sweet guns and sweet dead bodies.

While Brennan’s Rolex and recent cash flow were a brief point of contention between her and Booth, she takes Sweets’ advice and agrees to let Booth teach her something for a change. Cut to Booth and Bones sitting on his floor like kids, Booth swinging his crazy-sock-covered-feet and trying to teach her the mechanics of plumbing, which she likens quite eloquently to the circulatory system. Oh, Bones.

While the two of them are crammed dangerously close to one another beneath Booth’s sink, they share a moment of intimacy, agreeing that they’re glad they don’t have any secrets. In typical Brennan fashion, she glosses over her emotional attachment to him by backhandedly noting, “Even with all the financial and intellectual contradictions, I still feel close to you.” Insert collective awwws.

They smile affectionately and completely ignore one another’s personal bubbles, and the episode closes with the two failing quite pathetically at fixing the pipes but getting inches closer to one another, both physically and emotionally.

One last thing; the promo for next week was so perfectly ridiculous that I just couldn’t not say something about it. It promises to be highly amusing, and I’ll leave you with Brennan’s angered reply to seeing Amish youths making out in a smoky room: “This is not in the proper spirit of Rumspringa!”

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