Behind Closed Doors: Open mind, open legs
October 27, 2009
When it comes to sex, having an open mind is just as important as having open legs. This not only applies to how you do the tango under the sheets but also with whom. Everyone who breathes longs to moan, and everyone who thinks has dirty fantasies. This means that the world is your sexual oyster — slippery, slimy and so deliciously good.
The only factor limiting with whom you exchange bodily fluids is you. Just because I am a straight, 21-year-old white female doesn’t mean my undercover lover has to be a straight, white male within a year of my age.
Social convention and habit close our eyes to the possibilities around us. The horizontal mambo can be done in a near infinite number of ways. None of them require heterogeneity of the partners, yet many of us feel restricted. Therefore, I thought we could go through a number of lusty situations and dispel the myths associated with them.
First, and most obviously, it must be noted that none of this applies to relatives, people under 18 years of age and non-consensual partners.
Age gaps are a good place to start, especially in college. This match-up tends to be rare because people generally hang out with others their own age. However, there is no good reason why people over 18 shouldn’t be together. With the rise of cougars and the iconic status of men like Hugh Hefner, sex with much older, or younger, individuals is on the rise. As far as I’m concerned it is a win-win: An older person teaches the younger person the tricks of the trade, and in return gets to hook up with someone with a firmer body and youthful zeal.
Engaging in the lust and thrust with someone of a different race or ethnicity can also be very rewarding. The mingling of different skin colors and body features is sexy as hell. This pairing is often discouraged by cultural pressure, but there is no reason that black women have to be only with black men. No group has a claim over their members’ members.
People tend to shy away from hookups with others of different sexual orientations or fetishes. An easy way to overcome this aversion is to pursue anyone who may be interested. Remember that regardless of your race or who you’ve hooked up with before, they can be into you.
Ironically the most common grouping is the one that presents the most difficulties: dissimilar body types. When you’re playing doctor with someone considerably taller or shorter, larger or smaller, problems often arise. Getting down can take some effort, and some positions may not work. As with all of the differences in this column, these can be overcome. My best tip: Search the internet. When it comes to sex advice, there is no better source.
As a linguistics major, my favorite incongruity is the language gap. Luring a mate who doesn’t speak English well — or at all — can be a bit of an obstacle. But I assure you, foreign tongues can be incredibly sensual. Hips don’t lie in any language — pelvic yearnings are universal.
There are many other differences that may arise when picking a mate: political ideologies, intelligence, religion, etc. But when it comes down to it, we’re all the same. We all just want some good, good loving. So stop setting up roadblocks and embrace free love. You will be happier for it.
__Maya Horowitz is the Flat Hat sex columnist. She would love to study abroad someday.__