Gossip Girl: Putting on a poker face

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November 18, 2009

9:00 PM

I’m sorry, what the hell was that? This episode had my head spinning with home wrecking, Lady Gaga, drugs and more threesomes. I’m pretty sure that combination isn’t very healthy for my mental and moral well-being.

I’m going to attempt to give each character one sentence to summarize their highlights from this episode.

* Chuck: Still hot and now a surprisingly protective older brother to Jenny.
* Jenny: About to get herself involved with a European drug dealer who likes to play with boats.
* Blair: Manages to get her stepfather Cyrus to convince Lady Gaga to perform the current best song ever, “Bad Romance.”
* Serena: Gives a spiel to Nate about how she’s afraid she’s about to get involved with a married man, then gets involved with him anyway.
* Nate: Consoles Dan about the fallout from his threesome, and then later tells Serena he loves her, only to lose her to his cousin.
* Dan: High-fives random people on the street and writes the most bizarre Snow White/Lady Gaga play ever while dealing with the emotional fallout of his threesome.
* Vanessa: Unintentionally messes with Dan’s emotions and makes things that much more awkward between Dan and Olivia.

To be honest, I’m not sure what to make of this episode. While it was certainly entertaining and had its moments, there was also far too much going on, mixed in with the sheer oddity of the play that Dan wrote. Admittedly, I couldn’t help but guiltily root for Serena and sexy Congressman Tripp to realize their insane repressed passion for each other and shag. It’s just too bad that a part of me had to die when said shagging took place right after Nate professed his love for Serena. Why?! With all things said and done, though, Tripp is still a married man, and Serena has no place wrecking homes. Besides, SereNate sounds infinitely better than STripp.

I was also amused by Dan’s memories of the threesome that contained liberal use of a wind machine on Vanessa and Olivia. Also amusing was his role in the play he wrote, as a plaid-scarf-wearing prince to some Gaga-esque Snow White. Oh yeah, then there was Hilary Duff attempting to do a brief cover of “Love Game,” which I, as a devoted Gaga follower, found highly offensive. I made amends with the episode, however, when Blair brought all the sexy theatre geeks to a secret Lady Gaga show, which was over-the-top, crazy, and ridiculously fabulous. Lady Gaga somehow manages to save the episode, even though she doesn’t even have a speaking role. Major kudos to how appropriate the song “Bad Romance” was. It had some sort of connection to everyone, from STripp to poor Nate pining over Serena in a bar to Dan realizing he screwed himself over after the threesome.

At least Chuck was still my rock in this episode. Who knew he would make such a 180-degree transformation from the first season? He transformed from some sleaze trying to get up in Jenny’s business to someone saving her from others trying to do the same. Best line ever? “I’m Chuck Bass… even Europeans must know what that means.”

Alas, I have to wait two weeks until the next episode. I suppose from now until then will be a good time for us to settle down after this episode. In two weeks, looks like we’ll get our annual “Gossip Girl” Thanksgiving treatment. Can’t wait to see what they’ll will serve us this year.

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