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My friend told me a really interesting story the other day in Swem. It was about this thing at her middle school called the Night Place: every Friday night the tables would get cleared out of the cafeteria, a DJ would play music and everyone would dance. I think that’s pretty cute, pretty wholesome and definitely something I would have enjoyed as a sixth grade girl.
However, this apparently wasn’t enough for the sixth grade girls in Westfield, N.J. because they decided to take it to the next level. The Night Place was canceled last year because teachers discovered that the girls were cutting holes in their pants so the boys they danced with could finger them.
All I could think when I heard this was, “Wow — when I was in middle school, just the idea of kissing a boy was intimidating, but now public finger banging at age 11 has become completely appropriate?” At that age, sexual stuff is new and weird and nobody really understands how to approach getting ass. This story made me think of some of the other strange things I’ve heard kids do to get their adolescent freak on.
I have a particularly mortifying memory of my mom asking me if I knew what Rainbow Party was. I didn’t know, but when I found out… ew. If you’re still not in the know, a Rainbow Party is when high schoolers get together to S some D. Girls wear different colored lipstick to the party, so afterwards the boys they blow have rainbows on their wood. Clever right?
And do you remember jelly bracelets? They were those little plastic bracelets that came in different colors that represented different sexual acts. If a boy broke one of those bracelets you had to do whatever the color was. For anyone interested in bringing this back, the color breakdown is as follows: yellow for hugging (cute!), purple for kissing, red for a lap dance, blue for oral, and black for sex. (On a side note, to anyone who comments disputing what the colors actually mean: you are an idiot.)
So what’s the deal with all these games and techniques for getting a hook-up? What’s so wrong with just making out in a movie theater like a normal person? I don’t think the majority of people have participated in group BJs or sex for the sake of a bracelet, but why is this going on at all?
I think it reflects the nature of immature relationships. When you’re 14 you haven’t had too many opportunities to work on your game, so you invent tricks for approaching inherently awkward sexual situations. I’ve provided some extreme examples, but there are less horrifying methods, like inviting a cute boy over to watch “The Notebook” when your parents are out, or playing truth or dare.
You grow up, you hook up, and you start to become a lot more comfortable with sex and relationships. So the games should stop, right? Absolutely not.
Sure you can drink for fun, but being drunk makes hooking up so easy you might as well be wearing a black jelly bracelet. Or what about when a guy pretends to be interested in what a girl is saying when all he is really thinking about is how much longer until she shuts up and he can take off her top. And I know for a fact that I am not the only girl who secretly deletes guys’ numbers so they have to be the first one to text me.
It doesn’t matter how old or allegedly mature we get, the games just won’t stop, and there’s not much we can do about it. So what? Embrace it. I’m not saying you should manipulate people, but playing games is supposed to be fun. Grab your orange lipstick, purple jelly bracelets, and holey jeans, and go play.