Paul the Octopus restored my faith in humanity this summer. Or at least in cephalopods.
I love Paul because I hate most sports prognosticators. Sports, at its best, can reflect the best in humanity. At is worst, it is the CBS pregame show. So much air space is wasted listening to people who know nothing proclaiming themselves experts. Loudly and incorrectly.
So we are going to conduct an experiment here at the Flat Hat. We will have sports editor, and world’s biggest football fan, Mike Barnes pick the winners of games every week.
Opposing him we will have someone who knows nothing about football. We will also have a third group, a control, just to see if a group of people picking at random could out-pick one of our two competitors.
We will list the picks and the reasons for each pick every Thursday. The control picks will be posted along with comments from various Flat Hat writers.
First up picking against Barnes is Flat Hat opinions editor Elizabeth DeBusk. Elizabeth is a sophomore from Glade Spring, Virginia. We picked Elizabeth because of the way she always rolls her eyes when football is mentioned in the office.
Today, we’ll see if she can best Barnes.
Kansas City vs. Cleveland
Barnes: Kansas City because they tore up San Diego Monday night and Delhome going for Cleveland.
Control: Cleveland. I have no reason—Flat Hat News Editor Ian Brickey
Buffalo vs. Green Bay
Barnes: Green Bay. They looked really good last weekend versus Philly.
Elizabeth: Green Bay because I have actually heard of them.
Control: Green Bay. Aaron Rodgers is too good for Buffalo’s defense—Flat Hat Chief Staf Writer Sam Sutton.
Baltimore vs. Cincinnati
Barnes: This is a tough one. I’m going to go with Baltimore because I hate T.O. and I’m not picking that team.
Control: Baltimore. Carson Palmer put a voodoo spell on Matt Leinhart and ended up with all his “talent”—Flat Hat News Editor Ian Brickey.
Pittsburgh vs. Tennessee
Barnes: Tennessee. Pittsburgh barely won last week.
Control: Tennessee. I don’t know, they seem nice there. —Flat Hat Assoc. News Editor Chris McKenna.
Philadelphia vs. Detroit
Barnes: Philly. Mike Vick baby. And Stafford’s out.
Control: Philadelphia. I’ve heard bad things about Detroit. —Flat Hat Intern Katherine Chiglinsky.
Chicago vs. Dallas
Barnes: Chicago. Dallas was awful versus Washington and I have faith in Cutler.
Control: Dallas. I heard Debbie did them—Flat Hat News Editor Ian Brickey.
Tampa Bay vs. Carolina
Barnes: I don’t even want to pick this game. I’ll say Tampa Bay just to be different.
Control: Tampa Bay. Clausen will start and get killed. —Flat Hat News Editor Chris Weidman.
Arizona vs. Atlanta
Barnes: Atlanta. Because Arizona’s quarterback situation is a mess.
Control: Arizona. Because I’m from there.— Flat Hat Assoc. News Editor Chris McKenna.
Miami vs. Minnesota
Barnes:Miami. I think Brett Favre is done and I think one of their receivers got hurt today.
Control: Miami. They will give plenty of time for Favre to make his reservation at Sizzler. —Flat Hat Chief Staff Writer Sam Sutton.
St. Louis vs. Oakland
Barnes: Oakland. My boy Jason Campbell is out there. (Barnes is a Redskins fan).
Control: Oakland. They are going to win the game and then Al Davis will move back to L.A.. —Flat Hat News Editor Ian Brickey
Seattle vs. Denver
Barnes: Another game I don’t care about. I’ll go Seattle because they beat up on San Francisco last weekend and I thought San Francisco was pretty good.
Control: Seattle. My uncle works at an IKEA out there. —Flat Hat Intern Katherine Chiglinsky.
Houston vs. Washington
Barnes: I’m a homer. I’m going with the Redskins.
Control: It is Washington state? Washington then. Does Washington state have a team? —Flat Hat Assoc. News Editor Chris McKenna.
Jacksonville vs. San Diego
Barnes: San Diego. They are favored by seven.
Control: San Diego. I want to say something about a whale’s vagina but… —Flat Hat News Editor Ian Brickey
New England vs. New York Jets
Barnes: New England. Someone needs to shut Rex Ryan up.
Control: New England. Sanchez looked awful last week —Flat Hat Chief Staff Writer Sam Sutton.
New York Giants vs. Indianapolis
Barnes: Manning Bowl. I’m going to go with Peyton and Indy because he’s the better quarterback.
Control: Indianapolis. Peyton Manning is a heck of a player. —Flat Hat News Editor Ian Brickey.
New Orleans vs. San Francisco
Barnes: I like San Francisco, but I can’t against the Saints.
Control: HOW DARE YOU!!!! —Flat Hat Chief Staff Writer Sam Sutton (from San Francisco).