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Football: Nicholas, Viola out for rest of season, Laycock says

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Senior wide receiver Joe Nicholas and senior tailback Tony Viola will both miss the Tribe’s final 3 games, Head Coach Jimmye Laycock said at Tuesday’s press luncheon. Nicholas, who has been dogged all season by a knee injury, will have surgery and be unable to play the rest of the season. Viola is out for the season after contracting mono.

p. Nicholas will finish his career in the top 10 of several Tribe career receiving records. With both players out for the season, the Tribe has now lost two of its top players at both the running back and wide receiver positions, as junior wideout D.J. McAulay went out in week one with an injury and junior running back DeBrian Holmes injured his lower leg in the Tribe’s week three matchup against Liberty University.

Volleyball: Tribe earns victory against Hampton; 4th-place in CAA

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The Tribe coasted to a 3-0 victory over Hampton University Tuesday night, improving to 7-4 in the CAA and 13-12 overall. The College won games by scores of 30-12, 30-11 and 30-10. Sophomore Bryana Carey led the College’s attack, recording five kills and six service aces. The Tribe is currently in fourth place in the CAA standings. They travel to Richmond tonight to take on the Virginia Commonwealth University Rams at 7 p.m.

Women’s Golf: College posts 9th-place

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The Tribe concluded their fall season Tuesday, finishing 9th out of 15 teams at the Ross Resorts Invitational in Southern Pines, N.C.

p. Sophomore Morgan Stepanek led the Tribe, shooting a final round 77 to finish in a tie for 14th place. Stepanek’s three-round total of 234 placed her 10 strokes behind the winner. Freshman Sarah Whitney (T19th) and senior Misha Harvey (T23rd) placed in the top 25. As a team, the Tribe finished at 102 strokes over par, 50 behind winner Rollins College.

What to watch this NBA season

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With the NBA tipping off its regular season this week, it’s time to break away from football for a moment to check out three plot lines of the 2007-2008 NBA season.

p. **1.** The Kobe Bryant trade — It seems only a matter of time now before the Lakers’ mega-star is dealt. Reportedly the man himself will only sign off on a trade (he’s got a no-trade clause in his contract, giving him the right to nix any trade he disapproves) to Chicago, Dallas or Phoenix, but Chicago is the only real possibility of the three. Given the salary situation, the Bulls will have to find a third team to include in the deal in order to make it work (the latest rumor has this team as the Kings). A fair deal for both teams would be a package of Ben Gordon, Luol Deng (a legitimate contender to be a superstar in this league) and either Tyrus Thomas or Joakim Noah for Kobe. The Lakers would get some building blocks to work with and team with Jordan Farmar, Lamar Odom and Andrew Bynum, and the Bulls would become the instant front runners in the East. And for all the talk of Kobe’s attitude problems (and yeah, he’s got plenty), all you need to do is look to Randy Moss and the Patriots to see how well a star player can do with a change of scenery.

p. **2.** Celtics overrated — Ever since they traded for Ray Allen on draft night and Kevin Garnett some weeks later, Boston has been a trendy pick for Eastern Conference champs. While the talent of Allen and Garnett, along with that of veteran Celtic Paul Pierce, is certainly impressive, I see no way in which this team does any better than a first round playoff exit. First off, what are the odds that these three veteran superstars, each used to being the number one option wherever he’s played, come together to stay healthy and play as one cohesive unit all season long? Probably not very good. Factor in that they are weak at the point guard position with Rajon Rondo and that their bench is non-existent, and I don’t see the Big Three in Beantown making it to the NBA Finals.

p. **3.** The contenders — Although there are likely to be a fair share of surprise teams (watch out for Milwaukee and Charlotte in the East, and New Orleans and Memphis in the West), the NBA looks to be dominated by the usual suspects this season. In the East, I like Chicago (even if they don’t get Kobe) and Detroit, but I think everybody’s sleeping on the Wizards. They were playing very well last season before getting bitten by the injury bug, and have assembled quite the supporting cast around super-scorer Gilbert Arenas. Sorry Cleveland, but lightning’s not going to strike twice, as LeBron’s going to learn how truly weak his supporting cast is. I like Washington as the Eastern Conference’s NBA Finals representative.

p. As for the Western Conference, Houston looks solid with a couple of key additions that could put them as far as the second round of the playoffs, but this season is once again going to come down to Dallas, Phoenix and San Antonio. I think the Mavericks will bounce back, but not to the point of knocking off Phoenix or San Antonio. As good as the Spurs are, I think with an extra year on the legs of veteran contributors like Bruce Bowen, Brent Barry and Robert Horry, they won’t be able to hang with the Suns. Plus, Steve Nash is going to be possessed this year. He doesn’t have too many years left in him, either, and I expect him to play like it’s his last shot. Suns and Wizards in the Finals. It’s nice to think about, at least.

p. __E-mail Jeff Dooley at jadool@wm.edu.__

Technology links friends

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Almost every student uses AOL Instant Messanger to keep in touch with friends at the College, former high school classmates and significant others. But did you know there are other, more high-tech ways to stay in touch?

p. Skype is a downloadable internet program that features free IMs and computer-to-computer telephone calls between anyone who has the program.

p. “It’s really easy to set up and download. If I can do it, anyone can do it,” Jenny Hoover ’08, who studied abroad in Cambridge, U.K. last summer, said.

p. Many students at the College who go abroad depend on Skype or similar programs such as I-Ball Chat or AIM to stay in touch with their friends. All three programs offer the possibility of voice and conversations. “It was only 10 cents a minute to [phone] home from Europe, but that adds up,” Hoover said.

p. Katie McCown ’09, currently abroad in Essex, U.K., agreed. “Because Skype is free, as opposed to long distance calls on a cell phone, I can talk as long as I want,” she said. “If I didn’t have it, I would be stuck talking to them through AIM or e-mail because it costs too much to call the States on a mobile.”

p. Skype proves useful for students outside the United States. “I used Skype with my American friends who were abroad with me because calling between our cell phones there cost 30 cents a minute,” Hoover said.

p. Katie Corcoran ’08 used Skype while abroad in Salzburg, Austria last spring. She says she still uses the program “to keep in touch with my friends who are still in Europe, since they don’t have AIM.”

p. Corcoran also makes creative use of one of the games offered for free on Skype. “I play hangman with a friend from Germany over Skype because it helps him with his English,” Corcoran said.
Hoover advised students to set up Skype before leaving home, both on their own computers and on the computers of the people they are planning on talking to most. “There are no Best Buys in Europe and there are different computers over there,” Hoover said. “And once you get there, you just want to talk to people, not struggle with setting up your computer.”

p. A lesser-known aspect of Skype is that it can be used to cheaply call landline phones from a personal computer. This is useful for staying in touch with relatives who don’t want to work Skype or who don’t have computers.

p. This is exactly what McCown did. While Skype is most commonly used for IM and voice conversations, it can also be used to talk with others via webcam. “I downloaded Skype on my family’s computer before I left and they bought a webcam as well,” McCown said. “Whenever I talk to them, it’s almost like I’m at home because they can see me and I can see them.”

p. Despite the popularity of Skype, relying on technology to stay in touch does have its downside. Kurt Steinhouse ’08 studied abroad in Rome last semester, but didn’t have internet in his apartment. “I had to lug my laptop all the way to school to talk to people,” Steinhouse said.

p. In addition to this challenge, the internet at school wasn’t always reliable. “I didn’t have internet for two weeks after I got there,” he said. “I felt so disconnected from everyone.”

p. Corcoran reported a similar problem. “I’ve started to rely on [technology], so when my friend’s computer crashed I didn’t talk to her for like two weeks,” Corcoran said.

p. Another downside to Skype is the possibility of receiving IMs and phone calls from random people. “One time this guy from Egypt Skyped me and I’d never heard of him,” Corcoran said. “It’s really intrusive and I don’t answer calls like that.”

p. Corcoran also has a good friend who has been repeatedly Skyped by a man who lives in Mexico and uses the screename “Moist.” She admitted that she hadn’t installed privacy settings on her Skype account and that if she had done so, she might have prevented some of these random calls.

p. Hoover commented on the changes in communication brought about by technology. “The only sad thing about technology is that a lot of it gets lost, so you’ll never have it,” Hoover said, referring to e-mails and IMs that eventually disappear into cyberspace. “There’s something nice about a handwritten letter.”

p. Hoover currently uses the program to keep in touch with her boyfriend in St. Louis, Mo. “I have limited minutes on my cell phone, so we use Skype,” Hoover said.

p. Hoover also said that using a webcam through Skype is especially helpful because the added component of seeing who you are talking to makes that person feel a bit closer. “It’s nice to see someone if they’re far away,” Hoover said.

p. McCown agreed. “Seeing faces rather than just talking on cell phones really does make a difference while abroad,” she said. “It has also been really helpful in alleviating any homesickness I may have experienced initially.”

p. Nonetheless, the webcam is not without its challenges. Several students were embarrassed to admit their use of the webcam because people who are new to it think it sounds sketchy. “I hate the connotation with webcam,” Hoover said. People are always a little like ‘mmm?’”

p. In addition to social perception, webcamming makes one thing trickier that the phone does not: “You also want to look nice when you’re using the webcam. It’s difficult if you look awful,” Hoover said, referring to those bad hair days that don’t matter when talking to someone over the phone.

p. The overall feeling among students at the College is that technology such as Skype and the webcam is a blessing. “In a strange way, I’ve been able to stay in better contact with my family and friends [while abroad] than when I’m at William and Mary because I don’t actually feel so removed from their lives,” McCown said.

Professors choreograph student performance

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Tonight and tomorrow, Phi Beta Kappa Hall will once again be filled with its annual extravaganza of lights, leaps and leotards. Yesterday, Orchesis premiered its annual fall show, Dancevent, featuring the dancing talent of both students and professors of dance.

p. Orchesis is the modern dance group affiliated with the College’s dance department. It was formed in 1941, and has been putting on energetic performances of modern dance ever since. Orchesis puts on two shows a year, one in the fall, Dancevent, and one in the spring, An Evening of Dance.

p. The show in the fall features choreography by faculty from the dance department, and dancing by both professors and students. The spring show is danced and choreographed entirely by students.

p. The show this year includes different and colorful influences, including African and American Indians themed music.

p. “The show includes a collaboration with Native American drummers, a flautist and a shawl dancer.” Camille Shand ’08, a member of Orchesis, said, “The show is a lot broader this year. The concepts and themes are different.”

p. Meghan Cavenaugh ’09 and Jordan Gehley ’09 both joined Orchesis their freshman year, and will be performing together in one of the dances during Dancevent.

p. “This dance gives us a chance to show a lot of emotion, like a dance we were in last year,” Gehley said.

p. Cavenaugh agreed with her, but mentioned some differences. “The piece we were in last year was more about connecting within a group,” Cavenaugh said. “This year’s dance is more about trying to break away from peer pressure.”

p. Another dance that will be showcased is an annual Dancevent tradition with the seniors and faculty. The dance features improvisational dancing by both the dance faculty and the seniors involved in Orchesis.

p. “It’s a cool concept,” Shand said. “Our movements are improvised within a set structure, the music is improvised by a professor from the music department, and the lighting is also improvised.”

p. Dancevent will be performed through Saturday night at 8 p.m.in PBK. Tickets are $5 for students.

Earthball kicks diabetes off the map

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Do you ever wish you could go back in time and have recess again, those few blissful minutes running around outside with your friends? Well, here’s your chance. The second annual Kappa Delta Rho Earthball Soccer Tournament will take place tomorrow from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. in the Sunken Garden.

p. Teams of five or more people can sign up through today. It costs $5 per person or $10 with an Earthball T-shirt, and the fraternity will accept W&M Express. All of the proceeds will benefit the American Diabetes Association.

p. Earthball is a soccer game played with a large inflatable ball. Teams must attempt to kick the gigantic ball, which has a diameter of four-feet. into their opponent’s goal, which is unprotected to even out the odds of scoring. The tournament is double elimination, meaning that teams are eliminated after losing twice. The prize for winning in both the men’s and the women’s brackets is a $75 tab at Paul’s Deli.

p. Each participant will also receive a raffle ticket for a chance to win a $30 gift certificate to the Green Leafe or a date package consisting of dinner for two at California Tortilla and a movie at New Town Cinemas. Additional tickets can be purchased at the event for $1.

p. This philanthropy was designed last year to raise money for the American Diabetes Association, a cause that holds a strong personal meaning for several of the brothers. Matt Ragghianti ’08 and Steven Weisberg ’08, the co-philanthropy chairs of KDR, had a freshman hallmate who died of diabetes. “[Earthball] is an event that we hope will increase awareness about diabetes and bring the campus together,” Ragghianti said. “It’s fun, competitive and for a good cause.”

p. KDR said that the first annual Earthball tournament was a success last year. About 100 people were involved and KDR raised $900 for diabetes. This year, the event has expanded by getting several local businesses to donate prizes for the raffle. This past Monday, KDR had a pre-Earthball event called Earthburger, which was held at Cheeburger Cheeburger in New Town. Cheeburger Cheeburger will donate 10 percent of Monday’s Earthburger sales to the American Diabetes Association.

p. The College’s chapter of KDR is relatively new, and according to Weisberg, the only thing that it lacked — as of two years ago — was a strong philanthropic event. The brotherhood wanted to have an event that would increase its presence as a campus organization, so last year they created Earthball.

p. This year, they hope to increase the number of teams in the tournament and get the College community even more involved.

p. “[It’s an] incredibly fun event that the campus can make a tradition,” Weisberg said. Weisberg and Ragghianti, along with the rest of the philanthropy committee have planned an event that they hope will be an instant success and, with its four-foot Earthballs flying around the Sunken Garden, is sure to turn a few heads.

Pity party: tragic illness with a side of tomato soup

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I want a semi-serious medical condition. Preferably nothing too pussy, but otherwise I can manage. If someone would just give me some slightly life threatening ailment, I could be a happy man. There is, after all, such dignity associated with suffering.

p. Do not for one moment accuse me of shortsightedness, because I have put years of thought into this desire. Since the age of three I lived with an invalid — my brother has acute asthma coupled with a dust and pollen allergy. From the start I was jealous as hell. Every December since he was one, my brother would suffer an asthma attack and my parents would drop everything they were doing in order to rush my brother to the intensive care unit.

p. My mother might have been in the middle of making me tomato soup when suddenly my brother’s coughs would send her into the other room. Instead of heating up my soup, she would be forced to wash Joe’s blankets for dust or to rub a hot towel on his pneumonic lungs. And me? My poor fate compelled me to stand tiptoed over the stove and ladle lukewarm soup into a bowl. Instead of toast, I settled for the stale Triscuits my mother kept in a cupboard beneath the counter. Some people have all the luck.

p. I can remember countless times when Joseph would spend nights in an air tent at the local children’s hospital. During visiting hours, friends and family members would crowd around his tent and ogle him as though he were some sort of god. His emaciated form and dark gaze lent an air to his young frame. With doctors, nurses and our mother waiting on him hand and foot, he was a little prince.

p. Fortunately for my brother his asthma improved over time, and now he is practically cured of the disease. But I am not cured of my jealousy. While he got the dignified disease I was always forced to suffer the most embarrassing ailments. There was the time in third grade when my face exploded into a pulsing rash. Then there was the time in eighth grade when I passed out while watching “The Shining” and suffered a baseball-sized carpet burn on my right cheek. Then there was the time freshman year of college when I fell in the cafeteria and cut my upper eyelid on my glasses. Sure, the stitches looked cool, but I never really got to suffer in a public way.

p. My criteria are fairly simple. First, I want an ailment that doesn’t look gross. For this reason anything involving tumors or rashes are probably out. I hate needles, so this would rule out any disease that requires frequent shots. Also, I love fried and sugary foods, so I suppose having a heart condition just would not work. Further, I do not like dying, so ailments like AIDS, the bubonic plague and malaria can be nixed. I also require that my sickness will draw frequent attention to itself. Though I couldn’t really stand diabetes due to the dietary restrictions and the constant shots, I love those insulin packs that some lucky diabetics get to wear.

p. Vertigo might be fun, though a little restrictive when venturing to theme parks. Can you imagine the thrill of walking up a crowded set of stairs and suddenly yelling, “My God, I have vertigo!” I would grip the railing for my life, and I might even trip and begin to fall down the center of the staircase. Fortunately, someone would always be there to catch my hand and pull me to safety. After that people would look at me differently. They would think, that boy is so brave for living with such a debilitating ailment and still doing all his homework and maintaining a full course load.

p. Everything I did would glimmer with grace. My essays would stand out, but not for their quality. Professors would read my essays through watery eyes, stunned that someone of my condition could still manage such a normal life. They would offer me extensions on everything I wrote, but I would always turn them down.

p. “I can handle it,” I’d say. “I have a feeling everything will be just fine.” They would nod and watch me as I walked out of their classroom and into the world. Almost like everyone else.

p. __James Damon is a Confusion Corner columnist. He is hoping to acquire scurvy.__

That Guy: Daniel Maguire

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Daniel Maguire is the male version of Oprah — a man whose patient and nurturing personality encourages fellow students to confide in and rely on him. Dan’s love for the College is immediately evident.

p. He begins our interview by bringing me a hot chai tea from the Daily Grind and ends the night with a serenade of his favorite Gentlemen of the College rendition of Edwin McCain’s “I’ll Be.” It doesn’t get much better than that.

p. **What is one thing about you that few others, if any, know?**

o, I’m not very good at keeping my mouth shut, so I can’t really think of anything … I was a huge band geek in high school. I played the euphonium, which is like a small tuba and sounds similar to a trombone. It’s pretty embarrassing. I rented it through the school because my parents said they wouldn’t buy me one unless I majored in it at college. Unfortunately, one thing William and Mary does not offer is a euphonium major.

p. **So now that a career in playing the euphonium is out, what are some of your career goals?**

p. I’d like to be a stripper … just kidding. Generally, my dream job would be to do something where I was making progress and change in something I find meaningful. I think that’s something that all WM students look to do: to find a job that’s meaningful not just to them, but those people around them.

p. **If I were to look under your bed, what would I find?**

p. A lot of junk that I should probably donate. Two specific things would be my baseball bag, which goes all the way back from my little league days, and my stickball gear which I still play. My uncle gave me the stickball bat when I was in kindergarten. He died soon after. When I was young and got angry, I would smash the bat so hard on the ground that it would break so I’d have to put it back together with colorful electrical tape. It has a lot of sentimental value to me but it looks ridiculous.

p. **Are you close with your family?**

p. Yes, I am. I grew up in Herndon, Va. in a middle class suburban home with a bird [that] I got for my ninth birthday. We named him Tiel because he is a cockatiel. We are original. In the summer of 2006, I went to Ireland for two weeks to visit the homestead of my grandmother and grandfather. It was by far the coolest trip I’ve ever taken and I got to meet a lot of my Irish family. My dad’s parents are actually from Ireland and immigrated here. My father is from Atlantic City, N.J. and has some crazy stories of his own. My mother is from Dorchester, Mass., which is where I get my Red Sox blood. They are lovely, wonderful people who are so supportive.

p. **What about when it comes to girls? And who was your first crush?**

p. Sam Fien-Helfman — from the moment I laid eyes on her. I’m telling you what to write so you have to write it. Are you writing that? I also think I invented the term,“the far away crush” (or FAC for short) my sophomore year. I have had many FACs throughout my tenure here at the College. My current ones will remain nameless. I usually don’t look for one specific thing when it comes to girls. In fact, if you look at the girls that I have FAC’d on or talked about they don’t really have that much in common. It’s just a general feeling and vibe I have about them … not a specific personality or characteristic.

p. **How would you woo one of these “far away crushes”? **

p. I would take her on a date near the water somewhere: a lake, river or the ocean. There would be dinner in the evening overlooking the body of the water and maybe some kayaking or boating of some sort before that. After dinner, we would walk along the beach or around the lake or near the river, just enjoying the weather and surroundings. I would serenade her if she really wanted me to, but I would be scared that it would turn her away.

p. **If you had to pick three things that define your college experience, what would they be?**

p. For freshman year it would be Monroe First East, which was my freshman hall. We never did official things together but we were really close knit. I would also have to say my involvement with the Gentlemen, specifically our spring 2006 tour and the Queen’s visit. Lastly, I would choose my intern class in the admissions office this summer. In hindsight, I think a very special commitment for me has been serving as a tour guide. It hasn’t been a real significant part of my time commitment here, but being able to share and watch prospective students enjoy the love and beauty of this campus has been a great experience.

p. **How did you become interested in the admissions internship position?**

p. I wanted to do it because I felt it was a good opportunity for me to not only express my love for the College in a working manner, but also to help, in a little way, to mold the future of the school I love so much. It ended up being one of the best overall experiences of my life, mostly because of the people with whom I worked. All of the interns came from such different backgrounds and we got so close and had so much fun together this past summer. It might just be the most fun group of people I could ever hope to be with. Except Jonathan Welle. Write that. [laughs]

p. **What was one of your highlights from this past summer in the ’Burg?**

p. First would be doing the triathlon with three friends who shall remain anonymous. We finished it up by running through the sprinklers at the Alumni House in just underwear and then we streaked down Scotland Street, in front of the Leafe to King and Queens. The second would be swimming in the Crim Dell and streaking the Sunken Garden with my orientation staff (BHOT!). We even did our dorm cheer at the Crim Dell and everything … it was hysterical.

p. **What about a highlight from this year?**

p. I am currently coaching a first and second grade soccer team with Bryan Terrill and Leigh Tally. They are called the Hurricanes. Our current record is 4-0 and our goal differential is 24-3. It’s the dream season. I’m retiring after it’s over — on top.

Keeping up appearances keeps everyone happy

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Do the carpets match the drapes? Being a redhead, I get that question pretty often. But it’s a common question for other women, with all the hair coloring that goes on today.

p. Now, when you’re interrogated, you can answer with: “If you mean fabulously well-groomed, then yes, they do match.” Pubic hair is the new frontier of expressing personal style. One of my friends — who was about to have her first gynecological visit — asked me what she should do with her hair, what was normal for women. For starters, there is no normal. If you like it, whatever you do will be beautiful.

p. As for how it’s done, hopefully this article will clear up some issues. Guys, don’t think you’re excluded from this. You’d be surprised how many women (or men) appreciate proper “manscaping.”

p. There are many ways to remove hair: waxing, creams, lasers or razors. If you want to get professional help, just talk to your local spa or salon about bikini waxes. The downside is that these can be expensive. Laser hair removal is an option, but once those procedures are done, there is no turning back. The places where you’ve chosen to have hair removed will be bald forever. If your style changes with your mood, that route might be too permanent. Shaving does the job with very low costs, but the skin around the pelvis is very sensitive. The last thing that anyone wants is tiny razor bumps all over.

p. The best option for home-tailored pubes is a depilatory cream. Veet and Nair have easy-to-use home kits. Both of these products are specially made for your most sensitive areas; but, as long as you are careful, the regular removal creams work fine.

p. To start off, you’ll need about 20 minutes for this regime, so plan out some time when you’ll have the bathroom to yourself. It should be repeated about once a week to keep everything neat and tidy, but if you want the skin to be truly smooth you’ll have to repeat every two to three days.

p. The first step is to soften the hair. Soak a washcloth in very warm water and place it over the hair for about a minute. Next, it’s time for some trimming. It’s best to have a pair of scissors that are set-aside especially for this purpose. Nothing fancy, just a pair of small scissors to trim down the hair so it’s easier for it to dissolve. If you’ve been going au natural for awhile, you may want to trim all over and then try to go very short in the areas where you will be putting the cream on.

p. After trimming, apply the cream liberally over the areas you’d like cleared. Try to keep your lines symmetrical, but don’t worry about it too much. There will be time to fix any uneven parts later, so leave a little space for adjustment. Unless you’re going for a completely smooth look, you don’t want to keep evening up each side or you may end up hairless. A friend of mine made that mistake on her first hair adventure — rather than having a nice, straight landing strip — she inadvertently took a time machine back to pre-pubescence. The typical application is five or six minutes, but check the back of the tube or can to find out how long you should keep the cream. Once the time is up, use a washcloth to clear off the and hair, or use a bladeless razor if your product came with one.

p. There are other more complex ideas for the very creative among you. Sometimes it’s cool to have fun and try to make different hair designs. Easy-to-do samples include a heart, or a lighting bolt for the guys. I would not recommend this for beginners; wait until you’ve gotten the hang of the routine. But, if you’re ready, map out the intended design with a washable marker or visible highlighter. Simply use the outline as a template and apply the cream only to the outside of the lines. Don’t plan anything too elaborate, because while those types of designs might be possible with the help of a professional stylist and wax, the lines probably won’t come out as clearly as you might want.

p. Now all that’s left to do is clean up. If there are spots, that didn’t get fully cleared, or you would like to straighten out your lines, use a razor on a spot-by-spot basis. For safety, avoid hot tubs for a day or so because of the germs which lurk in the hot water, and swimming in the Crem Dell is out. Other than that, enjoy being fabulous with your new secret hairdo.

p. __Emily Powell is the Flat Hat sex columnist. She appreciates proper manscaping.__