Owning It

A lot of different things can be considered sexy. Some people look at eyes, hair, boobs, packages…whatever. Personally, I really like it when a guy has really straight, white teeth. I know that not everyone is specifically out there looking for a dude who had a stellar orthodontist in fifth grade, but that’s the point. It’s hard to pinpoint what exactly is sexy because personal preferences make setting a standard almost impossible.

Example: I’ve talked to a good number of guys who don’t think Angelina Jolie is incredibly hot. I do not get this. Clearly, this woman should be considered a babe by anyone who looks at her, but apparently what I see as obviously sexy is not attractive to some people. But you know one thing we can all agree on? She is confident. This chick just exudes self-assurance, and that’s something that is inarguably sexy.

Confidence really is a magical thing. You could have the most fug face in the world, be rocking a blatant muffin top, and maybe even kind of smell, but if you were owning it, I can guarantee people would be drawn to you. Maybe no one would be trying to bang you at that point, but you would still be getting more positive attention than if you looked like crap and were hiding in a corner.

But that example aside, I think everyone can relate to this idea. There are just these people that should not be all that impressive. You would never pick them out of a crowd. But then they open their mouth or you notice how they carry themselves and you know it instantly: this seemingly vanilla individual is actually the hottest person in the room.

These people have confidence just oozing out of their pores. And it’s not in your face either; it’s more like you can tell that it would take a lot to make this person uncomfortable. If someone feels good about themselves, then it’s easy for you to like them too.

So I know I’m stating the obvious here: more confidence = more sexy. If this is so easy, why do so many people suck at it? I get that it’s very rare to find someone who is genuinely comfortable with themselves, but why do people feel the need to go out of their way to draw attention to their insecurities?

If you’re not confident then just fake it. Most people take this concept way too far and go over the top to prove they are confident. News flash: overcompensating by talking about your sweet car or how much money you (aka your parents) have or whatever other stupid thing you can think of will make you look like a giant tool.

Overcompensating is pretty much the same as wearing a shirt that says “I hate myself” in huge letters on the front. Maybe “hate” is too strong a word…let’s go with “I feel uncomfortable with myself” or “I have a baby dick.” Those might be more accurate.

What I mean by fake it, is just chill out and don’t dwell on whatever it is that’s making you feel not so hot. If I hate my hair one night at the delis I have two options: I can just ignore it and do what I would normally being doing anyway or I can fixate on it and point out how much I hate my hair to every boy I talk to.

The former means my night could end just as easily with a reckless public make out as it could with me alone in my bed eating stolen Doritos from Wawa. The latter, however, ensures that I will be the most unattractive, not to mention most annoying, girl at the bar. Not cute.

So if you actually feel confident in yourself, that’s great. You’re sexy, keep doing it. If you have insecurities, that’s cool too – everyone does. Just save talking about them for a close friend instead of making them your primary conversation topic on a first date.


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