Adam’s Apple #2: Living with someone annoying

Adam Jutt ’25 is a math and economics major from Cincinnati, Ohio who writes articles sometimes. Contact him at adjutt@wm.edu.

The views expressed in this article are the author’s own.

Here we are.

This column has lived to see a second issue. I wasn’t sure that it would, but here we are.

I think that my doubt stemmed from an underestimation of my editor-in-chief, Anna Arnsberger ’25. I was worried that she wouldn’t see the appeal of a column like this. I was worried she would have concerns about the viability of the column given some of its more unorthodox characteristics, i.e. the fact that there was little to no advice in it. Or the fact that every (rare) sentence of actual advice came with a parenthetical caveat expressing my lack of confidence in the advice. Or the fact that on multiple occasions in the article, I addressed her directly, begging her not to shut it down. Et cetera.

Anna, apparently, had no such concerns. And while some may suggest that her lack of concern is itself concerning, that her legacy as EIC of a reputable paper will be forever tarnished by her condoning of my work, I say: huzzah! We are here to stay.

Okay, let’s drop the façade. We have been ignoring the elephant in the room. We have been acting as if something that needs an explanation doesn’t need an explanation. I appreciate your disinclination to make a scene, your willingness to follow my lead regarding the whole “are we or aren’t we going to talk about it” dance, but I can’t take it anymore. I know it’s not a conversation we want to have, but it’s a conversation we need to have. I’ll say it: the column is called Adam’s Apple, and I’m not sure how I feel about that.

I have only ever referred to these articles as “my column,” or “this column,” but never by its Christian name. Why? Well, when I sent the last issue to the editors, it was not named Adam’s Apple. It did not have a name. I had not thought to give it one. When I went to the Flat Hat website following its online publication, it did have a name. That name was “Adam’s Apple.” For those wondering, yes. I did go to the Flat Hat website for the exclusive purpose of reading my own article. No, I did not click on or read any other articles. We’ve all done it.

I should mention that I did have a chance to exercise more control over the name of my column. On February 19 at 8:55 pm, one of the two opinions editors, Avi Joshi ’26, texted me the following:

“Any ideas on what you want to call your advice columns? We have come up with the ‘Jutt Hut’ so far.”

I did not see that text until much later that night, at which point I responded:

“Oh dang missed this lol did you go with Jutt Hut?”

If you can’t infer it from my message, I was hoping the answer was no. I was REALLY hoping the answer was no. Avi did not respond, so I had to wait until it was published to see what they had gone with, which proved to be — of course — Adam’s Apple. My first reaction was ecstasy, so much so that I texted Avi again:

“I’m down with Adam’s Apple!”

Adam’s Apple is much better than Jutt Hut. However, in the hours and days that followed, I began to think less about Adam’s Apple as an alternative to Jutt Hut and more about Adam’s Apple on its own. More specifically, I tried to figure out what it means.

Here is what I KNOW so far: 1) My name is Adam. 2) An “Adam’s Apple” is the bump on the throat. 

Here are theories about other possible connections: 3) Apples symbolize school and knowledge, so “Adam’s Apple” is a metaphor for Adam’s knowledge, hence the connection to the advice column. 4) The throat is integral to speaking, and when I give you advice it’s almost like I’m speaking to you.

Was that third and/or fourth point intentional? Is there a different connection to advice that is eluding me? I don’t know. So, to bring things together, the reason I seem hesitant to refer to this column as “Adam’s Apple” stems (pun-intended) from my lack of confidence about the various entendre at play. Over time, I will get more comfortable with it. 

That’s enough of that.

The question I picked to answer this week comes from a junior here at The College. To protect his identity, let’s give him a fake name: Peyton Thomas Hayes.

The question he asked (once again, questions are solicited via Instagram Story, though they can be submitted however you want. Email, text, taping a piece of paper to someone who works for The Flat Hat, etc.) is as follows:

“I am living with someone (let’s call him A) that just gets on my nerves, how do I deal with him?”

Thanks for asking, Peyton! I think this is a problem that a lot of people will be able to relate to. Having someone in your life who rubs you the wrong way is always tough, but that difficulty is magnified 100-fold when you share the same living space as them! I also live with someone I don’t get along with (let’s call him P), so I think I have some hard-earned tips you’ll want to hear. 

1. Assume you’re in the wrong. We’ve all heard it said that ‘on average you’re the problem half the time,’ but in your case, Peyton, I think it would be beneficial to approach EVERY dispute with the assumption that you made the mistake. That might seem like a weird mentality to adopt, but I think it would be appropriate here. That jerk P I mentioned gets angry at me a lot, just like you get mad at A, but when the facts are all laid out it always becomes clear that P was in the wrong. Look at the man in the mirror!
2. Do some chores around the place once in a while. Maybe A seems cold to you because while he almost always takes out the trash and W does all the dishes, you almost never do anything for the good of the apartment. Don’t adopt a ‘holier than thou’ attitude to A if you have literally never helped anyone other than yourself. To everyone else reading this, that might seem like an unusually pointed piece of advice, one that would require knowledge about the specific type of apartment-mate Peyton is. Let’s just say I have done enough of these columns that I’ve picked up the ability to glean a lot about a person just from the way they ask a question, and in this case I’m VERY certain Peyton is a poor apartment-mate. Living with someone is a two-way street!
3. Appreciate that A is probably under a lot of stress. Maybe there is a reason he isn’t always the nicest: maybe he is stressed about classes, research and/or the new advice column he runs at The Flat Hat, or something. I know I said that my tips are based on my experience with P, my apartment-mate who bugs me — but this one isn’t: P doesn’t have enough going on in his life to be stressed — I mean we’re talking zero responsibilities, aside from leaving dishes on the counter, apparently. He’s not abrasive for some sympathetic reason. He’s just unlikeable. A bad person. I imagine A has quite a bit more going on in his life than P, so you should extend him quite a bit more grace. A little perspective goes a long way!
4. Smelling better certainly couldn’t hurt! I’ll admit it; sometimes I’m not the nicest to P. I’m not a full-blown jerk like he is, but sometimes I’m less than kind. If he valued personal hygiene a bit more, however, I’m sure I’d snap at him less. Just something to think about!
5. Remember, A could definitely beat you in a fight. You might think that because you are bigger than A you could take him if need be, but that’s not true. He’s quick. He’s scrappy. He’s been practicing boxing in the Midtown gym. One of these days, you’ll get into an argument with him, but instead of backing down he’ll start swinging. And once he starts swinging, trust me: you’re hitting the floor. Heed my warning!

Hope those tips make sense, P! I mean, Peyton. To everyone else reading this, hopefully you learned something, too.

See you in two weeks.

-Adam (of Adam’s Apple)