Adam Jutt ’25 is a math and economics major from Cincinnati, Ohio who writes articles sometimes. Contact him at adjutt@wm.edu.
The views expressed in this article are the author’s own.
“Adam, how do I figure out what to do with my life post-graduation?”
This is a tremendous question. It’s a question that is almost always rattling around somewhere in the mind during one’s time in college. The first year or two, it takes the form of a dull whisper in your unconscious, only slipping to the front of mind on nights with no distractions. Over time, though, it grows in both volume and urgency. By senior year, if you don’t yet have a clear vision for your life, the voice in your head is no longer asking what you will do but instead scolding you for not knowing. It tells you over and over that you are a failure who has wasted the last three-plus years, and it hastens to point out classmates who already have jobs lined up, or at least well-defined plans.
I can promise you this: reading this article will shut that voice down for good. You’ll no longer be one of the people tormented by a lack of direction, you’ll be one of the people with so clear a direction that other people will be tormented on your account. So, here is a ten-step plan to find a calling and a career that is perfect for you:
Step one. Determine that your top priority in a career is the ability to make more money than your friends.
There are lots of attributes of a career which are of differential importance to different people. Some people like the ability to work-from-home, others like the office. Some value a career with a healthy work/life balance, others are willing to sacrifice sleep and relationships for advancement. Some want to travel, others don’t. Everyone has a slightly different idea of what makes a job “good” or “bad”; the one thing everyone can agree on — whether you realize it or not — is that the top priority in a job search is finding one that will pay you more money than your friends’ jobs pay them.
A common misconception is that making a lot of money will make you happy. That’s not true. You’ll always compare yourself to those around you, and when you see someone with more, you’ll be instantly dissatisfied with what you have. It’s a never-ending cycle of discontent and hopelessness. If, instead of making “a lot” of money, however, you simply make “more than your friends,” the never-ending cycle of discontent and loneliness becomes a never-ending cycle of joy and jubilation. Every time you compare yourself to those around you, you’ll remember that you have more things than them! Every day you can pick a new object, e.g. golf balls, and calculate how many they could each buy given their salaries vs how many you could buy. When you subtract their small number from your big number and see a sizable supply of golf balls left over, you won’t be able to wipe the grin off your face for the rest of the day! Comparison may be the thief of their joy, but it can be the source of yours!
Step two. Assess the earnings potential of the individuals in your friend network.
Given what we just learned about what we want in a job, the next step is obviously determining what salary we will likely need to be the top earner in our circle. Don’t overcomplicate this one; just ask each of your friends what they want to do for a living, look up average salary ranges for those jobs, write down all the upper bounds, and then figure out which is the biggest. That’s now your minimum acceptable salary. If any of your friends don’t know what they want to do, simply guess how much they’ll make based on how smart they seem and whether their parents own any large companies and are in poor health.
Step three. Google “how much do _______ majors make.”
Make sure to replace the blank with your major! Likely, you will realize quickly that numbers like the one you calculated as your minimum acceptable salary are tough to come by in your field. Don’t feel bad. Clearly, you made a big mistake picking a major based on a passion or interest instead of point number one, but mistakes happen. That said, a change is needed, and soon.
Step four. Google “highest paying major.”
Step five. Google “highest paying type of engineering.”
Step six. (optional) Google “what is petroleum engineering?”
Step seven. Google “does William and Mary have a petroleum engineering major?”
Step seven. Google “colleges with petroleum engineering major.”
Step eight. Apply to transfer to the University of Texas Austin.
Step nine. Question whether it is a good idea to orient your entire future around a goal like this.
It is fully natural to have doubts at this stage in the process. Do I want to do this? Is it wise to uproot my whole life and start over in Texas? Should I ask my family for their advice first? Will I really make more money as a petroleum engineer than my friend who wants to be a surgeon? These doubts are just fear talking. Do not let fear win.
Step ten. Punish yourself for your doubts by exclusively drinking Diet Mountain Dew for a month. For the rest of your life, refer to this month, e.g. October, as the Month of Contrition. Buy customized calendars, if you are still the calendar type, that refer to it as such.
Step eleven. Transfer to UT Austin as a petroleum engineering major
And the rest is history! Your life is now fully planned out. You will not regret this. If you do, it’s not my fault; you must have done one of the steps wrong.
