Lisa Coleman ‘25 is an economics and data science double major who serves as a Flat Hat data editor. Come say hi to her behind the bar at the Column 15 in Swem Library or email her at lecoleman01@wm.edu.
The views expressed in the article are the author’s own.
When tasked with creating a Buzzfeed-style personality quiz to distribute around campus, I first spent about an hour wondering how my passion for data-driven journalism led me down a path involving Buzzfeed quizzes, but then I started to think… how was I supposed to create a personality quiz for a university that has such a strongly stereotypical student that we have a name for it: the “twamp.” If everyone here has roughly the same personality, who is going to take my stupid quiz???
Every student at the College of William and Mary has a unique relationship with the concept of a “twamp.” When I started brainstorming quiz questions, I really started to grapple with my own imagination of a typical William and Mary person. Was it the stereotypical anxious nerd that many envision, or was the real twamp the median twamp: the high school overachiever from Northern Virginia who has some sort of niche research interest paired with a quirky artistic outlet. Was I a twamp? Probably… but ultimately there was something more complex going on here.
That’s when I began to think about the many beloved twamps in my life. There were definitely some common ties between them, but different shades of twamp started to emerge. Yeah, all my friends are huge nerds, but my history major friends who could write an FDR biography from memory are pretty different from my biology major friends who have developed an emotional attachment to the petri dishes of bacteria they research.
After the extremely rigorous analysis that you would expect from a Flat Hat data editor (about 15 minutes of making snap judgements about how the people around me would answer extremely dumb questions) my very serious and official quiz was created. I never would have anticipated the power of GroupMe as a grassroots networking tool, but somehow after just a few days more than 2,000 twamps had discovered their true twamp identities.
The results were highly predictable: a lot of NoVa representation. Out of the 2,318 responses collected, 716 were sorted into what I like to think of as the default character of the college. From “just outside DC,” the NoVa kid is more than likely some sort of social sciences major who will boomerang right back to the city post-grad as a consultant of some form or other. They get a lot of hate, mostly from themselves, but I’ll be the first to say there is nothing wrong with being from a boring suburb! As an out-of-state student, I didn’t realize that part of my education at this college would be learning the nuanced differences between Arlington and Alexandria, between Fairfax County and Loudoun County or picking up on the fact that “TJ” is a high school but also a complex social construct that people refer to with a mix of envy and disgust. So NoVa Kids, thank you for your service to this school, and I hope the money saved via in-state tuition will serve you well.
The next most popular twamp was the “History Buff Twamp,” with 597 responses. It is no surprise that a college situated right across the street from Colonial Williamsburg herself would attract some A-tier history buffs to its campus, but boy are these types of twamps are a special bunch. This is the kind of William and Mary student that is just a little bit too excited when telling people that Thomas Jefferson went here. They can almost certainly be found strolling through CW or reading in Aromas in a thrifted outfit, with at least 4 layers that somehow complement each other perfectly despite all the laws of fashion implying otherwise. It is undeniable that this type of twamp is an essential part of our campus, because who else could carry class discussions with such eloquence?
The next most popular twamp, at 545 responses, is what I like to call the “ISC rat” twamp. This personality type represents some of the most dedicated academic weapons on campus: the STEM majors who have made the ISC into a second home. Whether they are pre-meds praying that the 35% they got on their last orgo exam won’t tank their admissions chances, or wannabe researchers who would spend 24 hours a day in the lab if they could, these lab rats are a critical part of the the College’s campus, working ceaselessly to disprove the rumours that liberal arts students don’t learn anything useful.
The final category of twamp I identified, with 463 responses, was one that certainly has a reputation on campus: the B-School kid. These students are probably the least likely to identify as a twamp, but just because they might have actual job prospects post-graduation doesn’t mean that they are any less of a typical liberal arts kid. All the finance bros, future accountants and shareholder value maximizers make up a small yet strong force of business-casually dressed twamps who makes the Cohen Career Center proud with every LinkedIn update.
This rigorous and highly scientific analysis proves that more than one type of twamp exists on campus, and that each type of twamp adds something unique and special to this community. There is not one typical William and Mary person, but there are exactly four; no more, no less. I will accept absolutely no suggestions or criticisms on this matter. If there is one lesson you can take away from my dumb quiz it’s this: you should never be ashamed to be any sort of twamp, because it’s true what they say: who comes here, belongs here. Whether you found the College because you were already a twamp or if something in the Williamsburg water brought it out of you, don’t be scared to let your twamp flag fly.