Many students admit they have never had sober sex in their entire collegiate career. Simply put, the proud, studious kids of the College of William and Mary kids finally come out to play when inebriated. Some drunken hookups can rock your world, while other drunken hookups beg the question, “What the hell was I thinking?”
Research shows that a glass of wine loosens you up and helps increase sex drive, which explains why you feel warm and fuzzy when you are wine-drunk. That tingly feeling means the alcohol has numbed your sexual organs, which allows you to last longer in bed.

If wine isn’t your thing, order a sexually explicit drink so your potential pooty tang can see that you mean business. Rediscover your tropical flavor by indulging in a traditional Sex on the Beach. Reveal your inner firecrotch by ordering a Redheaded Slut, with Jagermeister, peach-flavored schnapps and cranberry juice. If you can’t stomach the Redheaded Slut, add some Coke and transform your drink into a Lindsay Lohan. Test out the waters with a Blowjob Shot —this shooter mixes Baileys and Kahlua, topped with whipped cream. But be warned — you must prove yourself by consuming the shooter with your mouth only.

If you go overboard on the drinks, you’ll certainly learn the true meaning of whiskey dick. Alcohol inhibits testosterone in males. Too much alcohol will prevent testosterone from traveling to the genitals altogether. As hard as you try, you’ll find getting hard nearly impossible. Alcohol also numbs the body from the sensation of touch. So sooner or later, you’ll have to throw in the towel when you realize your partner was actually fingering your belly button the whole time.

Coating your insides with some liquid courage gives you that gentle push to try something you’ve never done before. Alcohol lowers your inhibitions. Maybe you’ll even take on a new, naughty persona. And after a constant week of hell in Swem, you deserve to let your hair down and have some fun.

But, before you delve into drunken hookups, draw the line between loosey goosey and a lack of judgment. Beer goggles are the number one reason why your booty call hasn’t returned your calls yet. People often regret the night before because alcohol inhibits your ability to, dare I say it, make a Tribe choice. If you’re not comfortable with the idea of waking up in a strange place next to a strange person, then keep your limits in mind before you put on your party hat.

Nothing ruins the night more than vomit. Sex involves lying down horizontally on a bed or gyrating your body up and down and all around. Your digestive system will not be happy with you. Your partner will surely pretend to have fallen asleep when you return to bed with bloodshot eyes and chunks on your chin. Talk about a bona fide buzz kill. Consuming alcohol past your limit will inevitably lose you a love-making session and yesterday’s lunch.

In moderation, alcohol can be the friend who helps you introduce yourself to the other table. In excess, alcohol can be the friend who can’t help you out because you are too busy dancing on that table. And once you’ve had too many drinks, you’ve unfortunately reached the point of no return. You’ll simply have to ride out your night in fashion, be it without orgasm or praying to the porcelain god.

And, above all else, follow your own heart, loins and liver. We’re all big boys and girls here. Make decisions based off your own desires, your own body. Figure out your limits, don’t worry about what — or who — everyone else is doing or not doing. I send you off with the best wishes to be happy, healthy and horny.

__The Flat Hat does not endorse any underage drinking.__

They looked to the left and right, then took a step forward, and checked their surroundings for danger before finally spotting the shine of a glowstick. The survivors, maybe 15 to 20 people, looked into the dark abyss breathing sighs of relief. Then, a bloodied man stepped into the threshold causing a startled person to shoot at him. He stopped momentarily, allowing everyone to disperse and to try to avoid being infected by the attacking ravenous zombies.

Well, maybe it wasn’t the zombie apocalypse, and maybe the guns were just Nerf guns, but the fear was still there.

Friday’s event, created and put on by the AMP’s Special Events Committee, headed by Jeffrey Bryan ‘12, was inspired by apocalyptic movies such as “Dawn of the Dead” and “28 Days Later.” This game was created to allow students of the College to see how they would fare in an apocalyptic world filled with zombies.
“The whole apocalyptic idea is in a lot of movies and video games and is a really popular theme right now,” Bryan said.

Bryan proposed the idea last year after he got the idea from one of his friends who attends Brown University. In the past, AMP has tried to host haunted houses and different Halloween events, but students found this to be the most exciting.

“This idea,” Bryan said, “Is something that actively engages you and is something that we have created and continued to hone down.”

Although similar events exist in Norfolk and other colleges, the AMP Special Events crew tried to present the idea in an organized, structured way to which students at the College could also relate.

“The idea was that there was a virus that escaped from a professor’s lab and caused these people to become zombies,” Davis Tierney ’15 said.

Throughout the course set up in Trinkle Hall, groups were responsible for finding hidden items in different places such as dark rooms with only one entrance or hallways and scare zones that were littered with the undead.

“The goal of the groups was to collect a series of items and escape before the complex was ‘bombed’ in order to destroy the zombies. Out of every group, only about three people made it to the end,” zombie nurse Taylor Renard ’15 said.

After retrieving the items, the groups had to be delivered back to the checkpoints, all without being tagged by zombies recruited by AMP to scare them. Zombies were recruited through a Facebook group where people interested could inquire and attend an interest meeting.

“There were three levels, the first of which involved slow zombies, the second fast zombies and the third super-human zombies,” Renard said.

Participants wore belts, like those worn for flag football, and in order to be killed the zombies had to tear the belt off. If a participant was ‘infected’ they had to leave the group, so the groups dwindled in size the further they advanced into the darkened corridors.

“Every 20 minutes, they’d send a new group through the game, and about a third would have Nerf guns to shoot the zombies,” Tierney said. “In theory, if you shot the zombie with the Nerf guns, you would stun them momentarily, but a lot of the zombies towards the end of the night just didn’t take hits anymore so you had to sprint.”

At the checkpoints, the items found were returned, and for those few sacred moments, groups were safe from terror. There were not any clues to lead groups to their next item, and often times Bryan, or the zombies themselves, had to help point lost or confused groups in the right direction. Because of fire hazards, AMP members could not create a clear path, and groups had to wander around searching for the items, often surrounded by glowsticks or by hordes of infected zombies.

“This year it was organized much better and went much more smoothly. We had more things to do, we had more volunteers and we had enough materials for the groups,” Bryan said.

Interested groups signed up for a particular time slot and received a wristband so they could wait elsewhere or participate in the AMP carnival at the Campus Center and come back when it was their turn. Those who waited at the Campus Center could take part in trick-or-treating and other games provided by AMP where they could receive extra ammo, Nerf guns or extra lives to help them escape the zombie apocalypse.
“It was really fun overall, if you were bored on a spooky Friday night and wanted to kill a few hours in a cool way,” Tierney said.

Darkness and mist enveloped the night while members of the Tribe family gathered around the Sir Christopher Wren building by lamplight for the campus ghost tour, led by members of the William & Mary Revolutionary War Reenacting College Company this Halloween weekend.

Standing in a white dress in the Wren courtyard, Sara Rock ’14, member of the College Company, beckoned the tour group to gather closer to her as she told them tales of the ancient building.

“During the time of the Revolutionary War, the Wren building was used as a hospital for soldiers … because the main means for dealing with significant injury at the time was amputation, the courtyard was often filled with amputated limbs,” Rock said.

Rock also discussed the inexplicable sounds that came from the building at night and the crypt under the chapel. The crowd appeared sufficiently spooked as she led them to the next location, the Brafferton building. Dorothea Sullivan ’13 told the tale of a Native American boy who was held captive by colonists and escaped every night to run free.

“The boy would climb out his window from a rope he fashioned from his bed sheets at night. He ran at night to reconnect with the natural world. These runs were permitted because he always came back. But one night, he did not come back. There are many stories as to how he died ­— some say he drowned, others say he died of exhaustion,” Sullivan said. “Sometimes, students still see him running across the Sunken Garden late at night.”

The College Company tour guides led the group across the field to the President’s house.

“There are a few strange things that have happened in the President’s house. When there was a fire in the building in the 18th century, it was believed that everyone made it out alive. However, shortly afterward, children reported a comforting presence … some believe this to be the spirit of a man who died in the fire and misses his children,” Rock said. “There was also a door that never closed in the building, no matter how hard people tried to shut it. They would push cabinets against the door and press on it as hard as they could, but the door never stayed closed. One day, while they were doing renovations, they found the skeleton of a young girl in the wall of the closet. We do not know who she is … but after they gave her a proper burial, the door stayed closed.”

The guides then led the group through the pathways to Tucker Hall, an infamous building on campus associated by students with mysterious College suicides.

“During exams in the mid 1980s, a female student is believed to have [hanged] herself in the upstairs bathroom while studying. A few years later, another female student [hanged] herself in the same spot, with a note that said, ‘She made me do it.’ Then again, in October of 2004, a College alumni killed himself in Tucker Hall,” Sullivan said.

Sullivan explained further sightings of a white, female student in Tucker Hall who would ask studying students how their exams were going. If they responded that they felt good about their exams, she would pitch a fit and slam her hands on walls and windows until they left.

As the group walked to Phi Beta Kappa Memorial Hall, members of the College Company dressed in colonial garb with faces painted like skulls waited around corners to frighten the group.

When the group collected on the steps of PBK Hall, Sullivan told them of the supernatural encounters some students have had with a white dress in the building.

“The haunting at PBK all started when the girl who was going to be in a play died back home … The new lead of the play found the dress sitting upright in the seats one night when she was practicing alone,” Sullivan said.

Sullivan mentioned a few other mysterious events that occurred in PBK Hall, including strange sounds upstairs that led to the white dress and a boy being locked in the chamber pit after a spectral voice asked him not to stop playing piano late one night.

As the campus ghost tour group dispersed, friends clung to each other on their walk home and talked about which stories they thought were the scariest, looking expectantly over their shoulders. Some were full of questions about these stories.

“My favorite part was Tucker Hall; the suicide of the girl in 1980 is well known around campus, but the other two suicides and the possible relation between two of them was frightening and made me wonder why it’s been closed,” Kate Hay ’12 said. “It’s an academic building on the Sunken Garden. With the current overcrowding problem, you would think the College would use everything at their disposal to accommodate the students, yet this building stands empty.”