As such an important part of William and Mary’s presence, it comes as no surprise that a significant amount of alumni choose to have another milestone in the Wren Chapel.

“Just when I think I’ve heard and seen everything, I get a surprise,” Executive Director of the Historic Campus, Louis Kale said. “When it comes to weddings, if you wait long enough, everything turns into a funny story.”

Kale, Historic Campus Associate Director Kimberly Renner and Sir Christopher Wren Building Supervisor Bernard Bowman make up the team behind every Wren Chapel wedding. The team takes care of everything from date booking to calming the in-laws on the big day and takes care of roughly 80 weddings a year.

William and Mary students, alumni, current faculty and staff or the children of anyone in those groups may reserve the Wren Chapel for a wedding. Both the bride and groom do not need to have a College affiliation. Although it is rumored that a five-year wait list to use the Wren Chapel, this is not the case at all. The most common marriages that occur at the Chapel are between recent alumni, but not all weddings follow routine.

The Wren Chapel facilities can be used for weddings most every weekend of the year with the exception of the Saturday night of the Yule Log Ceremony, Homecoming Saturday and during Family Weekend. Kale coordinates with Kappa Delta to make sure that the Campus Golf course does not overlap with any weddings. For days on which other loud events are held on the Sunken Gardens, such as the Last Day of Classes celebration, the bride and groom take their chances.

“We try to let the bride and groom know what’s going on, but many of them are alums, so realize they are getting married on a College campus and know what to expect.” Kale said.

Standard protocol for a Wren Chapel wedding allows the couple to have 120 guests, not including the wedding party. Kale recalls that one bride and groom had a 26 person wedding party in order to stretch the number.

Kale recalls that her favorite wedding that ever occurred at the Chapel was between two alumni who graduated in the 1940s. They dated all throughout college, went their separate ways in life, married other people, lost their spouses and reconnected over 50 years later, eventually getting married in the Wren Chapel.

“That was the only wedding I ever snuck into to watch. The bride and groom walked down the aisle together, it was really a very special wedding,” Kale said.

Bernard Bernake has been working with the Wren Chapel for 25 years and has helped orchestrate over 1,000 weddings. An important part of his job is making sure that everything runs flawlessly on the wedding day itself. Moments before the bride walks down the aisle, Bernake fluffs out her dress and makes sure it hasn’t gotten dirty.

Jill Hutchko and John Evans MBA ’08 first crossed paths at a coffee with a professor from the Mason School of Business in the fall of 2008. Evans was a student at the time and Hutchko worked in admissions.

“It was where we met. We looked at several different venues and we thought that this would be a very special place to get married, “ Hutchko said.

Even though the two were the same age, Evans was hesitant to ask Hutchko out because she worked within the business school. However he sent her a casual email after Thanksgiving asking about her break, and the two formed a friendship and eventually started dating. After Evans graduated the two moved to Connecticut together. They returned to the College to get married on Oct. 29.

“We both have such great memories here. It’s such a beautiful campus. You can feel the tradition and there is such a great community here at William and Mary. We just felt that it was the right place to come back to,” Evans said.

While standing outside the Chapel, awaiting her walk down the aisle, Bernake helped keep Hutchko calm, something he does for every bride. He’s always waiting in the wings in case something goes wrong. In his day, Bernake has taken care of everything from a passed out groom to belligerent mothers-in-law.

From 1999 to 2001 the Wren Building was closed for renovations, but seven dedicated brides chose to get married even in spite of the rubble. At the time, the only part of the building that was clean was the inside of the chapel itself. Kale recalls getting several calls requesting to get married at the chapel during the years that it was closed and she remembered turning them down. Despite Kale’s warnings, each of these brides persisted and got married in the chapel amongst tractors, tools, dumpsters and rubble.

Not all grooms are ready to wed. Bernake recalls one groomsman, a former College baseball player, who had a bit too much to drink the night before the ceremony.

“He must have had a weak stomach, because he passed out at the alter. I had to run in right after he hit the floor.”

Alumni take advantage of Wren for more than just weddings, as well. In the mid 90’s Bernake recalls that a young man approached him about proposing to his girlfriend in the Wren Chapel. The man, who was dressed in casual clothes, asked Bernake if he could keep the Chapel unlocked for him to propose later in the evening. Later that night, a man in a suit approached Bernake with a young woman and asked if they could take a look at the chapel.

“I didn’t recognize him in his suit, so I just said ‘sure go on in, I’m just waiting for some man to come and propose to his girlfriend later!’” Bernake said.

The history that surrounds the Wren Building is continuously added onto by alumni who decide to have their weddings in the Chapel.

“For so many students at William and Mary the Wren building is the mother ship, it is their alma mater. Many of our alums are coming back because of the connection they make to William and Mary while they were here. It’s a real love for the school,” Kale said.

People always ask me, “Jason, do you miss the United States? Do you miss your beloved College of William and Mary?” And I respond, “Of course I do! Every single day!” And then we share a laugh, make plans to hang out, and call each other later.

Okay, this never happens (God, I’m so lonely). But I do get asked if I miss the Tribe. And naturally, I really genuinely do. You can’t spend the last three years of your life someplace and compiling some of the memories I have without noticing and lamenting such a place’s absence from your life.

That’s not to say I’m not loving the hell out of my time in Paris. Quite the contrary. I’ve been to the top of the Eiffel Tower and seen the lights of Paris. I’ve had wine and cheese at cafes along the Seine. I’ve seen my favorite rapper at the Moulin Rouge, and today, I will be at the Stade de France cheering on USA soccer against “Les Bleus.” No, I’m having the time of my life in the city of lights.

However, I’ve also begun to notice some parallels between life on campus and life in Paris. Certain cultural phenomena that either manage to hold true universally, or else seem to represent polar opposites of ideology. Follow me here.

One glaring difference I notice is with regard to politeness and hospitality. Imagine the absolute worst party guest you can at William and Mary. A drunk freshman girl stumbles into your room. Well, into your doorframe, then your desk lamp, and then your room proper. She doesn’t ask your name, but instead slur-garbles, “Can I grabbabeer?” Grabbabeer here being vomited out as one word. You exchange “Is this bitch serious?” glances with your friends, but before you can tell her no, little Shirley Yates-McBarrett has already grabbed your last Natty, chugged it, shouted “Winning!” for some reason, and left. Bewildered, you take note of her drunken visage and vow never to allow her in ever again.

In France, while perhaps a little tactless, such eager acceptance of hospitality is the proper polite response. If you’re offered wine, you drink wine; if you’re offered cheese, you eat cheese. Presumably the same would hold true for vodka and Four Loko (rest in peace, sweet prince), but I’ve yet to test that theory. In America, we’re taught to impose as little as possible upon our hosts. In France, you’re taught that if they’ve got it, chug it.

Another fun little Venn diagram of cultural dissonance concerns seduction. You know, the bow-chicka-wow-wow. The slurp-slap-what’re-you-doing. The attraction of the same-or-opposite sex (Ne pas demander, ne pas dire). In the Glorious States of America two star-crossed young lovers lock eyes across the room. She smiles shyly and brushes the hair away from her eyes. He grins despite himself and hopes she will come over. It’s adorable, it’s harmless, and it’s as American as apple-flavored condoms.

In France, if you make eye contact with a dude on the Metro, you’re functionally giving him the green-light to breathe heavily down your neck with cheese-breath perspire all over you while inside your head you scream, “Why GOD does this train not stop already?” Parisian women avoid eye contact like the plague in public. Further, to actually speak to a stranger of the same or opposite sex is tantamount to sticking your genitalia in their face and doing a little dance. I have no idea where these preposterous ideas of sexual license originated, but you had better believe I keep my eyes, hands and junk to myself on the train.

Living abroad, you expand your horizons. That’s what all the brochures in the Wendy and Emery Reves Center for International Studies say. More importantly, though, you learn that the way you were raised is neither right nor wrong, and the way someone else was raised is neither strange nor smarter. It’s difference. It’s beautiful, soaring, polychromatic difference, and damn if life isn’t all the brighter for it.

Jason is a Confusion Corners columnist and is continuing to expand his horizons with Parisian hospitality far away from Yates-McBarretts.

When Shayna Walker walked through the doors of the Sir Christopher Wren Building after her graduation from the College of William and Mary in 2000, she had no idea that the building would become the cornerstone of her career a decade later. This historic structure, which has long been held dear by students and alumni alike, has special significance to Walker, who currently derives her livelihood from it.

Walker has come a long way in the past 11 years. During her senior year at the College, she lived in a repurposed barn in Toano among the horses she cared for. After graduating, she moved back to her native California and pursued a variety of careers, first working as a tour director, then as a food-and-beverage purchaser for a major cruise line, and later as a legal secretary before moving back to Williamsburg in 2004.
During her time on the West Coast, Walker married, gave birth to twins and, at long last, found her calling: wedding planning. She took this passion and, upon her return to the ’Burg, founded her own company: Williamsburg Wedding Design, which has now grown into a successful business.

Walker, who has planned somewhere between “30-40 weddings” in the Wren Chapel, praises it as a place that is very precious to the many alumni who use it. Therefore, it is unsurprising that this exclusive venue, which is extremely popular during the late spring and early fall months, is hard to book. Factor in the hectic events that inevitably arrive with the changing of the seasons, such as Homecoming, graduation and football games, and planning can become a real challenge.

Wedding couples have to fit their ceremonies into strict two-hour time blocks. This limited time frame, combined with rigid restrictions on space and decor, may seem off-putting to some, yet for many couples who have battled to book it for their special day, the charm of Wren more than makes up for it.

“You can’t help but have respect for the chapel,” Walker said.

Walker has planned a wide variety of ceremonies, from Presbyterian to Jewish to civil. Regardless of creed, Wren weddings are in demand.

Though Walker seems to enjoy her career and what she describes as the “quirks and restrictions” that accompany the “balancing act” that is wedding planning, she feels that some day she may pursue a different passion.

“I would love to pursue a Ph.D. in archeology,” she said.

Applying to grad school, she admits, is a challenge, what with two children and a jam-packed schedule rife with couples who schedule their ceremonies a year in advance. However, it is this career that has led to her interest in archeology. Walker credits her time planning weddings in Wren and other historic buildings as the impetus for her motivation to get her next degree.

“I wouldn’t have realized the richness of these places without weddings,” Walker said.

For now, however, Walker is focusing on raising her seven-year-old twins, growing her wedding planning business, and making her clients happy.

While every client is special, Walker admits that she has a soft spot for alumni who have a closer connection to the area, especially Wren, and, like many of us, bleed green and gold.