My election day proposition

After your humble reporter clearly laid out the Student Assembly’s agenda for the rest of the semester in last week’s post, the SA has reverted back to strongly encouraging people.

The Room Reservation Deposit Act was unanimously passed and strongly encourages the Bursar’s office to allow the payment of the $200 room reservation deposit to be made online.

The Election Day Act was also unanimously passed and also strongly encourages professors and the Dean of Students to cancel classes on November 4th. The bill also charges its sponsors with delivering a letter to College President Taylor Reveley encouraging him to declare future election days school holidays.

The Presidential Election Day Outreach Act was also unanimously approved and appropriates $1000 for 3000 “Hark upon the ballot box” stickers to be handed out at the polls on Election Day and $312 to purchase apple cider which will also be handed out. Although the $312 was appropriated the bill requires that its sponsors first attempt to have the cider donated by a local super market.

The Outreach Act comes close to the ideal of a bill that takes direct action benefiting students, but a $1000 for a bunch of stickers just seems excessive.

Why not spend that money on more food and drink for voters if the SA is really trying to reach out to the community? A full spread of coffee, hot chocolate, Bailey’s Irish cream, donuts, croissants, hollowed-out watermelons filled with fruit salad, honeybuns, French toast, and assorted muffins might convince the people of Williamsburg to let more than three unrelated people live in a motherfucking house!

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