Beats for the boneyard

_Warning: The content of The Flat Hat’s Daily Grind blog contains adult themes and explicit language. Please contact the editor-in-chief if you have questions or concerns._

Sex and music. They’re kind of like peanut butter and jelly. Good alone, but something magical happens when you put them together. They become awesome. With so many different genres of music and sex how do you even know where to start?

As if this wasn’t obvious, a good beat is the most important thing to look for. Beyond that I feel like it all depends on mood and taste. I’ve had plenty of people tell me they don’t like the music to be particularly lyric-heavy, and actually, I don’t know if I can agree with that. Yeah, the rhythm of the song is really key, but half the fun of putting music on in any situation is recognizing your favorite lyrics. If I’m making out with someone and chorus of R. Kelly’s “Ignition” comes on, you know I’m loving the situation I’m in about a thousand times more than I already was. So, yeah, I know all the lyrics, but if my partner does too — that’s even better. Knowing you’re both enjoying the same music creates a stronger connection, and that’s what sex is all about.

I try to pick sex music based on what I like, what I know has a good rhythm, and what will be funny. I know that sounds weird, but sex can get way too serious sometimes. I can’t imagine spending an hour in bed listening to nothing but Tupac; he’s much too intense. Then again, Three 6 Mafia, while definitely content appropriate, wouldn’t be serious enough. That’s why I, personally, love a mix of slow jams and soul. The sometimes ridiculous lyrics of the slow jams keep it light (I mean, hello, imagine actually doing it to “Birthday Sex” — awesome!) while soul is just totally, effortlessly sexy.

There are some people who bang exclusively on the techno end of the spectrum. The long, basically lyric-free songs and up tempo beats really do it for them. Then there are other people who like some soothing lay-her-down-by-the-fire kind of music. I mean, why else would you listen to Barry White?

Basically anything can be good sex music — it all depends on what works best for you and your partner, and the only way to figure that out is by trying different stuff. Like most things, practice makes perfect, so go out, go bone and go explore some unfamiliar musical avenues. It feels good, I promise.

Now there are some ways that music can be used to detract from a sexual experience. Singing along? That’s generally inappropriate. A couple of posts ago I hated on some guys who got way too into Biggie and T-Pain, but in some ways that wasn’t fair. I hadn’t listened to either of those artists all that much before those encounters, but now I love them. And that’s just another way that music and sex are great together. Pretty much every relationship I’ve been in, the serious, hook-up, and TWAMR varieties, has left me with new favorite artists and even whole new favorite genres of music. How cool is that? A crap relationship will only last a couple months, but your newfound love of Lil Wayne can last you a lifetime.

One last tip: always, always, play it loud. If you aren’t blasting your boneyard beats, then what’s the point?

Daily Grind Playlist – some of my favorites, and some great suggestions:

Number One – R. Kelly ft. Keri Hilson
Let’s Stay Together – Al Greene
Mr. Big Stuff – Jean Knight
Ride My Pony – Ginuwine
Buy U A Drank – T-Pain
I Just Wanna Make Love to You – Etta James
One Wish – Ray J
In the Midnight Hour – Wilson Pickett
Rockin That Shit – The-Dream
Electric Feel – MGMT
Party and Bullshit (Ratatat Remix) – Notorious BIG
Just A Friend – Biz Markie
Are You In? – Incubus
Touch My Body – Mariah Carey
Break Up To Make Up – Jeremih
Suga Suga – Baby Bash
Love Is – Common
My Love – Justin Timberlake
Time for Us to Fuck – Lil Wayne
Why You Wanna – T.I.
Hey Ma – Cam’Ron


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