A heads up on giving a blowjob

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September 21, 2007

4:18 AM

For many women, the first time they perform oral sex is their first time seeing a penis up close and personal. The initial shock may be shortly followed by embarrassment as their inexperience comes to light. If you are performing fellatio because of outside pressure, don’t. For both parties, the best thing about oral sex is enthusiasm; if you’re uncomfortable, it will show in a negative way. However, if you have decided to have a go at third base, there are a few issues that may not have crossed your mind.

p. A few of the basic concerns are pretty easy to manage. Of course you should first discuss what you are comfortable with. Make it clear to your partner that you will go at your own pace, and if he is tempted to put his hands anywhere near the back of your head he should remind himself where your teeth are.

p. If you’re worried about any kind of hygiene issues, suggest a shower together beforehand. You can make sure he’s cleaning up to your standards; plus, it’s amazing foreplay. While in the shower, you could also use that time to make sure his manscaping is up to par. If not, a little trim will do the job.

p. A major concern for both you and the man in question is teeth. Teeth are not a desirable part of a standard blowjob, but if you have large teeth it could be hard to keep them out of the way. A useful first time tip is to take two gummy worms and put them over your teeth like a mouth guard. Moisten them a bit so that they are soft, and then go to town without the worry of injuring him. If he looks like he’s going to laugh, just tell him it’s for his own safety. Plus, men tend to enjoy the interesting sensation.

p. Another huge problem is, no pun intended, size. If he is a larger-than-average boy, you may be worried about just how his penis is supposed to fit into your mouth. That could also lead to pain in your jaw at a later point in time. But this should not be as big a concern as it seems. The porn industry has fooled women into believing that they are only giving good head if they are performing deep throat. This is the act of taking the whole length of the penis into your mouth and throat.

p. If the mere thought of this makes you gag slightly, you’re not alone. Some women can do this, and more power to them, but remember that the average mouth is only four inches deep. With a standard gag reflex, you’re looking at a little over three inches as your threshold. Don’t feel like you’re not pleasing him if you only take in the head of the penis. The head is full of nerve endings, so most of the pleasure he experiences comes from what you are doing to that region. Plus, if you can only get the head into your mouth, it is close enough to your tongue to provide him with pleasure.

p. Many women find it easier to have their man sit on the edge of the bed or in a chair while they kneel in front as opposed to lying on a bed. This may seem like a hindrance to feminism, but remember, as long as you are in control of his member, you are definitely in control of him.

p. Another way to help keep him in check is to use one, or even both, of your hands. Keep one hand firmly around the base of his penis to stop him from moving around too much, and place your other hand flush with your lips, using it to control how deep he enters your mouth as you move. To keep a rhythm, sing through some songs in your head, getting gradually faster. Better yet, hum the songs — the vibrations will be a pleasant surprise for him.

p. A few last minute tips are all about lubrication. This starts with making sure your lips are not chapped; a little lip balm can ensure that. If you don’t think you have enough saliva to be comfortable, there are plenty of store-bought options that also have the added plus of appetizing flavors. However, if a flavor sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Stick with the tried and true flavors like strawberry or mint. As for the ending, the cleanup or lack of it is really up to you. Again, don’t feel outside pressure from either side. But once it’s done, then your fun can begin — ask him to return the favor.

p. __Emily Powell is the Flat Hat sex columnist. Her favorite flavor is strawberry.__

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