’Twas the night before Blowout,
In our office we sat.
The semester’s coverage we pondered:
All your news from Flat Hat.

In just a few months,
So much had occurred.
It started with Tucker,
Which smelled like a turd.

We thought of Zach Pilchen,
And his spring spending spree.
Some hoagies he bought,
Then resigned graciously.

Then Reveley moved in
To the president’s shack.
Prompting SDS fury:
“We want Nicholback!”

But the BOV passed him,
As the SA did Slawter.
And Caf stuck with trayless,
As it tried to save water.

Then ‘Today’ came to town
With Lauer and Roker
But remember Luke Russert?
Golly gee, what a joker!

And when the city discussed
Its three-person rule,
Clyde Haulman arose
And acted a fool.

He called students drunks.
He tried bashing Steer Clear!
But enough with all that.
Here’s some holiday cheer:

Yule Log is approaching,
And our Santa’s much thinner.
But Reveley’s reading of ‘Grinch’
Will still be a winner.

So best of luck on exams.
You’ll ace them, no doubt!
Happy Holidays to all,
And to all a good Blowout.