As a nearly graduated senior, I like to think that I have figured out the ins-and-outs of Williamsburg and the College of William and Mary pretty well. Although Williamsburg isn’t exactly a metropolis and the College isn’t too terribly complex, I feel as though I have gathered some random, useful tidbits of wisdom to spice up your remaining time at the College. I call them my “What to do if”-isms.
First: What to do for fun if it is past 9 p.m. on a weekday in Colonial Williamsburg? As most of you know by now, every shop, restaurant and other form of entertainment closes down by 9 p.m. On those rare evenings when you don’t have any homework, are not studying, or have no meetings to attend, and are in the mood for an adventure, what on earth are you supposed to do? Well, even though the storefronts may be dark, don’t overlook the less frequently-visited side of the Colonial parish. There are always some friendly horses that would love your carrots, sheep that never tire of chasing you, gravel roads made for rancing (running plus dancing plus coordinated playlists), and rooftops ripe for climbing.
Second: What to do if you have run out of meals and flex points on your meal plan? One thing I quickly discovered during my time in college is that if you really try, it is possible to live off of free food. Virtually every meeting and event on campus has free food galore, so be sure to attend these. Hang out with your friends when they cook. Graciously offer to eat the leftovers. Frequent the SeXchange — they often give away food. Just steer clear of the five-hour energy drinks.
Third: What to do if you trip on the brick sidewalks? This one is easy. Turn your trip into a tying of shoelaces and pretend all of your movements are just as theatrical.
Fourth: What to do if you are bored with CW and the College? It has always been a goal of mine to attend every activity listed on Student Happenings for one week, and I think I can safely say this would keep you busy enough to dispel any boredom. This may also solve the second “What to do if.”
Fifth: What to do if you make eye contact with an acquaintance when you are still too far apart to chit-chat? During my first years at the College, my solution was to begin my conversation with said acquaintance by shouting at them while still many yards apart. I quickly learned this is not only awkward and unnecessary, but also highly annoying to passerby. As an alternative, quickly remember there is something you must urgently attend to on the sidewalk or in your book bag. A few moments later, a brief “Hello, what’s up?” can ensue.
Sixth: What to do if there is a Williamsburg-style torrential downpour? Slog miserably through the rain and puddles with your rain boots, rain jacket and umbrella, none of which will actually keep you dry, or put on grimy clothes and frolic about in the rain barefoot because, let’s be honest, that is infinitely more amusing than the alternative.
Seventh: What to do if you still need to swim the Crim Dell? I must admit, this question is one I am struggling to answer right now, as I have 27 days left to conquer the Dell. What I have decided so far is that swimming mid-week is crucial, swimming post-rain storm is ideal, and wearing a wetsuit is indispensable. Discarding your fear of slime, large turtles, dark water and unidentified germs is also advisable.
I guarantee there are many more “What to do if”-isms that need to be addressed, but I must pass that challenge on to the next Confusion Corner columnist. For now, my last “What to do if”-ism. What to do if your favorite newspaper columnist in the whole wide world must graduate from college and abandon her column? Send her candy, presents and flowers, and offer her a job.
__Emily Walker is a confusion corner columnist and will be waiting patiently to be showered with gifts from her readers and a plethora job offers. Contact Emily Walker at ekwalker@email.wm.edu.__
