Behind Closed Doors: Clothes on, clothes off

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November 6, 2014

10:12 PM

When you really start to think about it, we all started our lives butt-naked. We are introduced into this world with our bare bottoms displayed for all to see. Even if you’re thinking of our beginnings in the Christian creationist sense, Adam and Eve, too, started out in their birthday suits. But sometime between those humble beginnings and the 21st century, we lost our love for the nude. Even as I sit and write this, I am clothed, everyone around me is clothed, and if I were to see someone here on the second floor of Swem butt-naked, I’d be a little confused.

When one thinks about sex in relation to nudity, it’s natural to associate being naked with getting hot and heavy. As the great poet and philosopher Nelly put it, “It’s getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes.” Though these truly are words of wisdom, there are a few things Nelly didn’t really think about. Sometimes there is no need, or want, for full on nudity. Whether to strip completely down while engaging in sexy times is a matter sensitive to the time and space in which you are having sex.

Though I don’t exactly understand why someone would choose to wear leather during sex (leather plus sweat plus friction does not amount to a fun time), it’s totally dependent on whether it gets you and your partner feeling some type of way.

Take the quickie, for example. As the always-trustworthy Urban Dictionary puts it, a quickie is “fast sex with little foreplay.” Quickies are often spontaneous, taking place in the most unexpected places at the most surprising times. When it comes to the quickie, who has time to take it all off? Belts, zippers and bra straps suddenly become too complicated when you’re trying to get some quick pleasure in between classes or before your roommate is due home. In these instances, there is no need to get naked; get to the good stuff instead of worrying about trying to take your shirt off.

With this clothes on vs. clothes off debate, one must not overlook the idea of lingerie and costumes. Fancy lingerie is unnecessary to many for one particular reason: Why would I want to pay so much money for underwear that someone is going to rip off anyway? But if Victoria’s Secret or La Perla, whether it is a full-on ensemble complete with thigh highs or just a banana hammock, makes you feel more confident in the sack, it should definitely be considered a go-to. Costumes work in a similar way. Though I don’t exactly understand why someone would choose to wear leather during sex (leather plus sweat plus friction does not amount to a fun time), it’s totally dependent on whether it gets you and your partner feeling some type of way. The only form of sexy clothing I am totally against, though, is the infamous edible underwear. Ditch the cherry-flavored thongs and choose instead to go with the classic whipped cream or chocolate sauce.

On the other hand, when you’re dealing with more intimate sexual experiences, taking your clothes off is an entirely different story. Getting nude with your significant other can add a lot to the experience. Stripping down can be a way for you to bond more closely with your partner. Getting naked with a partner, not to mention having sex with them for the first time, can be a nerve-wracking experience. There are uncertainties and lots of awkwardness. When it comes to what to take off and what to leave on, go with what you personally feel comfortable with. Anyway, I’ve heard that keeping your socks on during sex increases the likelihood of an orgasm, and there’s only one way to find out.

Mallory W. is a Behind Closed Doors columnist who reminds you not to wear leather for your vegan boyfriend.

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