7th Grade Sketch Comedy engages both the betrothed and romantically sickened

    The curtain has closed on Valentine’s Day and its accoutrements, but that doesn’t mean romance is allowed to exit stage left. The campus group 7th Grade Sketch Comedy will present a romantic date opportunity with its show, “7th Grade Loves You to Death,” for students worried that the passing of Feb. 14 meant the end of the amorous season.

    p. The show begins at 8:30 p.m. Friday night in Little Theatre in the Campus Center basement. The performance will be directed by sophomore James Damon and junior Taylor Rubin and will cost $1 per person.

    p. If the idea of red roses, monogamy and love in general makes you ill, don’t worry — murder is also a key component of the show. Everyone is a suspect in this loosely framed narrative — a murder mystery that marks 7th Grade’s first-ever theme show. Nearly all the skits reflect the hunt for a killer in small-town Iowa.

    p. Junior and 7th Grade member Hayley Loblein said that couples should enjoy the show. “It’s going to be scary,” she said. “It would be a good excuse to cuddle.” Other draws include the possibility of a live wedding and the appearance of a campus celebrity.

    p. If these reasons don’t hook you, the cast made a handy list of reasons why students need to be there.

    p. “First, it’s going to be funny — you’re going to laugh. Second, you probably don’t have anything better to do … at least not until 11. Third, if you come drunk, we won’t tell anyone. Fourth, this is a great opportunity to exercise your mind (thus staving off Alzeheimer’s). And fifth, there’s going to be a door prize.”

    p. If it is any indication of quality, the wisecracks were bouncing off the group’s members with palpable energy at their rehearsal. “It’s sketch comedy to the 7th power,” senior Chris Edwards said. “Seven also happens to be the number of ‘A+’ grades our shows have received from Entertainment Weekly this year.”

    p. Senior Matt Newman took time from his iPod of solitaire to explain what 7th Grade is all about. “We write, direct and perform all original sketch comedy,” he said, clicking the wheel furiously.

    p. But 7th Grade is more than just rampant professionalism. “We’re also funny,” junior Alex Beaton added.

    p. The group warned that people with heart conditions should brace themselves because live ammunition will be fired. Students can also check the status of radioactive equipment involved on 7th Grade’s website, www.wm.edu/so/7thgrade.

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