I know many women on campus who are trying to find a steady relationship. They’ve been through the random hook-ups, have had their share of guilt-free fun and just want to find a nice college guy. I’m here to tell you that’s impossible. Well, maybe not impossible, but you will have to be willing to deal with one of the six types of guys who attend the College. Each group has its set of pros and cons. If you can reconcile your standards with those issues and let your intended man know you’re available, you may have a shot.
p. Geek. I’m starting out with the most obvious guy-type. We are all geeks on some level at the College. I have met guys at both ends of the geek spectrum. If it seems like your intended beau is in the library for more hours than he sleeps, you might be able to help him escape. Ask him if he’d like to study with you outside in the Sunken Garden, and then when you’re at a stopping point you could play some frisbee. I’ve found that the stereotypical geek has never had a ton of attention from a girl, so sometimes showing a little interest is all you need to find a great guy.
p. Greek. Fraternity boys everywhere tend to get a bad reputation because people just associate them with movies like “Animal House” and think that all they want to do is take advantage of women by getting them drunk. You should be careful at any party, regardless of who is hosting it, but fraternity parties can be amazingly fun. Everyone probably attended at least one freshman year. Contrary to popular belief, a lot of fraternity guys aren’t just looking for quick sex. Many they are the type who offer to walk you home after a long night. The downside to these men is that the fraternity is like their family at times. So if you go out with a frat boy, watch out for the break-up backlash. You may find random guys openly discussing your sex life — ouch.
p. God. Depending on the type of person you are, this may be a huge positive to you. I don’t want guys to think girls hate men who believe in God. I find it a huge turn-on when a guy is strong enough to stand up for his faith. But the problem that many women have with Christian guys is when their religious views are so strict that a relationship becomes impossible. There are both ends of the prude spectrum. Some would never have sex before marriage; others are unwilling to let a girl sit with them in their room. That’s a true story. If you’ve got it really bad for a guy who is rigidly Christian, I think the only option is to let him know that you would match his moral code. Maybe things will change once you start going out, maybe they won’t. It’s your responsibility not to pressure him, but be ready for some extreme sexual frustration.
p. Gamer. Trying to get a gamer to cut down is like taking the bottle away from an alcoholic. Unless you’re a girl who is really into video games, you’re going to feel tossed aside. There will be many nights of sitting and watching him play video games with his friends, hoping that after this mission he’ll put down the controller and kick everyone out. I have only successfully pried a guy away from a video game once, and I had to resort to some extreme measures that you might not want to try with his friends watching. The best way to deal with this situation once you’re involved is to explain to him that you won’t sit around when he’s playing games. If he wants to see any parts of you, he needs to turn off the screen and drop the headset. It’s a coin toss as to which he’ll choose, but I never said it would be easy.
p. Girlfriend. I would not suggest getting into a situation in which you are coming between a girl and her guy. That’s like stepping between a momma bear and a cub, and you may find yourself in the middle of a bitch fight. But if you’ve gotten the sense from him that he’s unhappy with his controlling, emotional girlfriend, it might be okay to just let him know that a less psycho girl could make him happier. On the pro side, you know he can handle a relationship. Con: if he left her for you, who’s to say it can’t happen again?
p. Gay. Damn it.
p. __Emily Powell is the Flat Hat sex columnist. She has invented various ways of pulling guys away from their games.__