It’s Always Sunny: A womb with a view

“It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” had its season premiere last night, and the gang was just as offensive and crude as ever.

Let me just preface this blog with one important statement: Danny DeVito is useless. Anyone who watched the show before he was added in the second season will most likely agree with me. The four other main characters have great chemistry, and when they deliver even the distasteful lines it is simultaneously offensive and hilarious; with Danny DeVito, it is just creepy. I could write a graduate thesis on how he ruins the show, but I’ll save it for later.

This week the crazy plans were two for the price of one: Dee decided to become a surrogate mother and Frank decided to exploit the mortgage crisis. When Frank, Mac, Charlie and Dennis got to the house they had decided to flip, they found out the family that was foreclosed on was still living in the house. They left, but only after having spent a little too much time contemplating on how they could murder the family, with the kids right in front of them.

Meanwhile, a family was interviewing Dee, making sure her uterus was in tip-top shape. She claimed that she had never had a drink or done drugs, and that she has never had a health problem in her entire life. For once in the show’s history, you think she’ll actually follow through on a straightforward plan to make money, but since it is ‘Always Sunny,’ she ends up drunk in the couple’s pool in the middle of the day.

The guys decide that they need to get into the house before the family leaves and smears their feces all over the walls. When they arrive, a lawyer is waiting for them, trying to explain that the family has 90 days to leave. Charlie feels insulted by the lawyer, and gets into a disproportionately mismatched argument over intelligence back at the bar. He decides that he is going to challenge the lawyer to a duel, which the lawyer accepts, and then threatens to hunt Charlie down at high noon the next day.

Frank, Dennis and Mac decide they are going to sell the house on their own, with Dennis and Mac as Hugh Honey and Vic Vinegar, exploiting the “classic good realtor/bad realtor dynamic.” They hold an open house, where Frank forces the children to paint their own rooms. “Vic” and “Hugh” intimidate a couple into buying the house, only to have them run away terrified.

To avoid having a lawsuit for forced child labor, Frank ends up having to give the house back to the family, and all of them decide to go in on the surrogacy instead. Dennis and Mac, again posing as Vic and Hugh, try to bid up the price of Dee’s womb while posing as a gay couple. They claim that she is being paid $100,000 to give birth to their child, but then it quickly becomes an argument over who is the, uh, “receptive” partner in their relationship. Charlie shows up and has no real plan, so he just talks about how he’s going to impregnate Dee. Frank then brakes through the fence, and after the couple rescinds their offer, they all jump into the pool.

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