Okay. I’m listening to Cobra Starship’s “Hot Mess” (which was featured on Monday’s “Gossip Girl”) now and attempting to let this episode’s events sink in. And I have to say — hot damn.
The episode starts off with some cheesiness about how starting college holds the chance of endless opportunities. Wait, I’m watching “Gossip Girl,” right? Or is it freshman orientation all over again?
Hold on — Serena is backing out on going to Brown. Ah, good, it is the right show if Serena is making the millionth hopelessly misguided decision about her life, claiming she doesn’t know what she wants to do. Yawn. What’s new? Is that the best you’ve got? Serena goes on to botch Chuck’s business plans later, in an attempt to get back at him for telling Papa Humphrey her bail-on-Brown plans. Turns out Chuck was actually concerned about her. Once again, she royally screws herself over.
In other news, Blair became an outcast amongst her peers. In a way, it is poetic justice, but I’ve always enjoyed watching Blair micromanage her social sphere. At NYU, she has to stand off to the side while Georgina Sparks and her prominent canine teeth (seriously, stop flashing them with your creepy smile) ascends the social ladder. A small part of me died when no one came to Blair’s sake and sushi party, opting to hang out with Georgina, watch films made by Vanessa and eat pizza. Admittedly, Blair seems so utterly out of place with her couture and preppy clothing that even I feel embarrassed on her behalf.
On a completely random tangent, Nate and his fling from last episode, Bree, decide to hole themselves up in an apartment for 24 hours. It’s as though the writers realized nothing was making sense with the other characters, so they had to give the viewers some shirtless Nate with tousled hair. Asides from the fact that there was no logical connection between Nate’s storyline and that of the other characters, I’m not complaining.
Dan starts off this episode strong, putting up with Serena’s antics and keeping his guard up against Georgina. However, by the end of the episode, he disintegrates into making speeches at a party about drinking cheap beer and making out with Georgina. His douchery and lack of standards are noted.
The episode tries to temporarily tie up loose ends it started when Serena and Carter pull an unofficial break-up/make-up and Blair and Chuck find solace in each other (cue the awww). Nonetheless, I am still very much unsettled. Not until Georgina falls off the roof during one of her own parties while Blair resumes her throne with witty gusto will I be satisfied.