Your Student Assembly: At least not as bad as the state of Virginia

By way of sheer incompetency, your Student Assembly is still a slightly less worse governing body then the state of Virginia. Usually I just like to get right to what the SA actually accomplished — three bills were passed Tuesday — but excepting the Statement of Support for Nondiscrimination Act I cannot, in good faith, feature them in my introduction.

It’s a real shame that the aforementioned act was stuck in the middle of this two-hour reminder of why the SA, at heart, is a complete joke. They couldn’t even unanimously pass a bill that did nothing but support equality. Two abstentions were cast and on one hand I can sympathize because this bill doesn’t do anything, but considering that the SA has unanimously passed far worse why not show a little solidarity with your fellow humans and take one for the team?

Thankfully, the SA is at worst completely useless. Meanwhile, the state of Virginia has now become actively malicious. Gov. Bob McDonnell’s sixth executive order, removing sexual orientation from the state’s anti-discrimination policy, is a clear testament to his vision of a Virginia that will eventually roll back all policy that aims to protect Virginians from discrimination.

I have never been so happy with the government of my home state of New Jersey. While it may be completely bankrupt and cutting necessary services at will, at least New Jersey, or any other state not governed by McDonnell, isn’t going out of its way to harm citizens it views as being morally objectionable.

Now, to return to our usual topic, the SA’s almost endearing inability to organize an election.

The SA passed the Election Day Postponement Act, extending all election deadlines six days, and the Election Integrity Act, which calls for a constitutional amendment prohibiting a member of the SA Elections Commission to run for the election they were initially responsible for overseeing. Be sure to remember to not care six days later than you planned and to contemplate whether the SA is genuinely corrupt or shockingly incompetent. If you are a Virginia resident as well, make sure you are a heterosexual white male or at the very least a submissive heterosexual white female.

SA President Sarah Rojas ’10 gave a surprisingly informative address detailing the executive branch’s mildly encouraging effort to reform the current alcohol and drug policy, but because I am a slave to journalistic integrity and in light of Rojas’s mention of the razor sharp insight coming to you every week courtesy of the Zerbo Zone, I have to say her speech sucked.


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