I was on Twitter this weekend when I came across a tweet informing me, along with the rest of the campus, that a couple was having sex at the bus stop in front of the Sadler Center. To whomever this was: I’m all for exhibitionist sex, but you could have gotten yourselves arrested. Drunk or not, it was a very stupid thing to do. The thing that makes exhibitionist sex kinky and fun is the thought that you might be caught, but if you’re doing it in the open, it’s only a matter of time before you will be.
Believe me, I have had my share of escapades in the public view — but people weren’t actually around. There are times when you cannot contain the sexual attraction you have for your partner and you have to have him or her immediately. I understand. I also understand that you may have been heavily intoxicated, as this was Homecoming Weekend, and sex seemed like a wonderful idea at the time. But sex should never be taken so lightly — not only are you putting yourself in danger of being arrested and spending an embarassing night in prison, but if you are that intoxicated you might not be fully protecting yourself from STIs and pregnancy.
Other than the possibility of going to jail, it is just downright rude to have sex at a bus stop in front of people. Sex is a private enterprise; what happens between you and your partner should stay private. Nobody else wants to see you getting it on. I am a person who loves sex, who writes about sex, reads about sex and constantly thinks about it, and yet I would not want to be walking to my car, only to come across a couple having sex nearby. I would feel very uncomfortable — almost everyone else in the world would too — and that’s why there are laws against it.
Now, don’t get me wrong: I am not conservative about my beliefs in sex, and I don’t believe that sex should be taboo. But I do believe in everyone having personal freedoms, and having sex in public is an infringement upon the rights of others. (And it is an infringement on your own privacy, now that half the world knows, via Twitter, that you were bumping and grinding at the bus stop). I will assume these two were drunk, but if exhibitionism is your thing, there are ways to do it which will not get you in trouble and will not affect others.
The key is to have sex in semi-private places where there is no real possibility of being caught. Let me break this down: A semi-private place means you are alone but in an open space. You want to have an escape plan so you can quickly cease the act if someone were to enter the space. Good sex can happen in certain parks at night, in cars, and I have even heard of having sex in the library. I don’t see Earl Gregg Swem Library being the greatest place, since there are not many low-key spots like a dark study room and you would have to be really quiet, especially on the third floor. People even have sex in public bathrooms, a thought I find quite nasty. The point is that there are possibilities pretty much everywhere you look, it just depends on people around the area.
I hope the two at the bus stop learned a lesson in public decency. Sex is a private moment between you and your partner — how you choose to do it and where is totally up to you. Just please know; we don’t want to see it. So, on Halloween weekend, can we not have Superman and Lois Lane having sex in front of Wawa?
__Aishaah Reed is a Flat Hat sex columnist. She is unashamed to admit that she checks her Twitter feed in public multiple times per day.__