SA buys couch, discomforts media with unprecedented outbursts

Your Student Assembly bought $4,400 worth of prison couch during Tuesday night’s meeting; falling victim to the most nefarious wing of the Prison Industrial Complex, the furniture department.

Beyond the titillating minutes it took to approve a couch, the SA spent a majority of the evening reviewing procedure, specifically where the code stands on airing your dirty laundry during a senate meeting. Even after the honorable senate chair Stef Felitto ’11 attempted to restore order to student government with an informative presentation detailing why senators should keep their big mouths shut while other people are talking.

While this life lesson on decorum seemed to take hold of the senate for the moment, all semblance of order disintegrated when a certain young-at-heart old-in-real-life senator began relentlessly pontificating on his inability to harass another human being. Apparently there are other people that aren’t as passionate about the SA as he is and he proceeded to harangue an unresponsive undersecretary until she perceived his pro-activeness as harassment.

As we are all in the midst of the Flat Hat’s centennial volume, the entire staff has adopted a rather historic purview. In discussing lost Flat Hat features, the “Hollywood Gossip” column struck my eye. I am perfectly OK with reporting on the mental and social instabilities that seem to pervade student government, I’m just not sure they are.


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