Investigating the survivors of a Williamsburg summer

Internships are up, Wawa trips are down, and almost 20 percent of the populace has decided that the loneliness of the summer will last for eternity. From the savant to the service worker, the graduate to the gullible, my summer compatriots encompass a wide spectrum of the college demographic. So, for this week’s take on “The Life and Times of the Blistering ’Burg,” I decided to do something slightly resembling journalism and took to the streets and the Facebook groups to see who my summer sufferers really are.

I was lucky enough in my time among the riffraff to interact with some of the rough diamonds that populate the desolate campus I call home, and, between their insight and an online survey I masterminded, a true picture emerged of the meandering masses that this glorious college has produced.

Classes — the Wonderbread reason to be here for the summer — comes in as the second most popular excuse to tell your parents to let you stay at the College of William and Mary, ringing in over 26 percent of respondents,. I was lucky enough to speak with Will, a rising sophomore (a class which comprises almost a third of summer residents) about his experience in what can only be described as a Michael Bay-esque throw-down with Intro to Accounting — two weeks of action packed ledgers and formulas which is, in the most appropriate terms, referred to as a boot-camp. Our G.I. Joe of IPO was willing to shed a little light on what can only be described as the extreme summer class experience.

Though at first his words were incoherent, marred by weeks of mainlined Redbull and “Jimmy Johns … to sustain studying,” a picture of his trials finally emerged. Through comparisons to the U.S. national soccer team, he paints a picture of the opportunistic bonding of his own “group of death.”

“[I became] closer to my classmates in that class than any other I’ve taken at the College,” Will said.

In a similar vein I was able to speak with three wonderful little blue-collar-class twamps, spending the summer working for the veritable “man” of the greater Williamsburg area. Lucy Copper ’16, a waitress on the rise at the local watering hole, The Crust, explained the diversity of the experience as “tastefully turnt,” imparting how the experience could only be described as “swampy but sassy.” Now isn’t that appetizing.

Similarly Brian Garland ’16 and Zach Naglier ’17 — employed by the Sadler Center and 93rd district representative Monty Mason ’89, respectively — are also here for the summer. While Garland explains that the summer is basically, “all of the perks of college without the schoolwork.” Naglier serves the final dénouement of the ethereal summer adventure.

“[During the summer], you meet new people, try different things, and despite the loneliness you come to find out there is more to life than the daily grind,” he said.

Now after I dropped that second helping of entendre on you, I must bid an adieu. I hope you enjoyed this installment and tune in next week as our hero takes on the perils of the simmering summer social scene. Just keep in mind, the show goes on here at the College and, whether you find yourself drawn to abuse your asthma medication or uncover old condoms with your mom as you move in (as some of our lucky respondents shared), just remember, as Will said, “If you can spend some time in Williamsburg over the summer, you definitely should.”

Jacob Ramey enters his fifth week in Williamsburg and, seriously though, please come visit — he’s getting super lonely.


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