Behind Closed Doors: Stressful Sex Struggles


The most natural thing a human can do is have sex. We eat, sleep and reproduce. But in today’s society, sex is a lot more complicated than satisfying your basic needs. Everyone experiences issues with sex, but women face specific struggles. Whether it’s before, during or after, women go through a lot just to perform the innate task. 

Before a woman’s partner arrives, there is a whole list of things she does to get ready. First, a woman needs to eat. She is about to do a workout and she needs fuel. What is she going to eat? A dreaded salad. A woman isn’t going to get the Chipotle she wants. She wants to feel thin and if she eats a pint of queso she won’t. So, she orders that puny salad and then scarfs food down as soon as the partner leaves. Yet, most men don’t think about what they eat before sex. They couldn’t care less about feeling fat. 

 Next, a woman showers and shaves practically her whole body. Shaving is a process to say the least, especially shaving down there. The skin is sensitive which can cause razor burns. Razor bumps are uncomfortable and far from sexy. After shaving, many women feel insecure about their red skin even though it is completely natural. The reality is the hair is supposed to be there. Because it is supposed to be there, the hair grows back really fast. A woman who shaves two nights in a row is a warrior. Some women may only feel sexy if they are bare down there. Even a woman who is confident in her body hair may worry her partner will think it is gross (it is not). Thus, she will inflict this pain on herself to feel sexy and then feel insecure about the red bumpy skin that is about to be on display. The partner isn’t even on their way yet, and a woman has gone through a battle in the shower. 

Naturally, a woman will get out of the shower and try to find something to wear. She could dress fancy, she could dress comfortably or she could dress sexy. Maybe the woman is going out before so she will dress nicer. The real struggle is deciding how to dress when she is staying in. A woman never wants to feel like she is trying too hard; yet, worrying about what she’s going to wear already feels like it. A classic casual choice is the hot girl pajamas — pajama shorts (that make her butt look big) and a tank top with no bra. A woman could also dress sexy with some lingerie; however, it is college, everyone is broke, hot girl pajamas it is. Most men don’t even think twice about what they put on when they leave the house, but for some women it is a big decision. What a woman wears influences how she feels, and during sex, she wants to feel hot. 

While all this pre-planning is going on, the girl is probably nervous. Maybe she met the person on Tinder and has never seen them in person. Maybe it was awkward last time. Or maybe she knows the partner but wants to impress them. Women go through a lot of stress before their partner even arrives. 

Eventually the partner will arrive, and things will start getting hot and heavy. Of course, with sex comes nudity. Being naked is extremely vulnerable, and women want to feel confident during sex. Many women worry about feeling insecure in that stressful moment when she takes her shirt off. Worrying about how her body looks can really dampen the mood, but women just deal with this feeling and get their clothes off anyway. She has now moved onto her next worry: being eaten out. If women thought being naked was vulnerable, just wait until they have a person’s face in their womb. While their partner is down there, many women are worried about how they taste. Some dedicated ladies might drink cranberry juice before to “taste good,” but let’s be honest, there is not much she can do. Women worry about this when it is beyond their control, and no man has ever worried about his junk tasting good. 

Finally, the main event. For something so natural, having sex can be a struggle. First off, many women have struggled with “being too tight”. In that moment, a woman feels like her body is betraying her. The vagina is meant to stretch, but sometimes it just won’t. If the penis does fit, there is another obstacle that a lot of women experience: queefing. Queefing does not feel cute. It is embarrassing and there is nothing to prevent it from happening. Women will seriously worry that their partner will think they’re farting. Hopefully, her partner is respectful and understanding. Although, most women will still feel like there is something wrong with them. Perhaps in a future utopia, women will be able to queef freely without judgement.  

The sex has now ended. The partner leaves. The woman is in her room thinking back over the night. What does she feel? Hopefully, she feels good, relaxed, and glad she decided to have sex. Many women will not feel this way. Sex can make some feel guilty or gross. To this day, women are judged if they have sex like men. Therefore, they feel like they did something wrong when they did something completely natural. 

Whether is it shaving, queefing or regretting, women go through a lot just to have sex. A lot of these problems are female problems only. This is not to say men do not experience problems with sex, but they do not have as many. Simply put, men do not have the societal expectations of them to be hairless, thin and a virgin. Hopefully one day soon, women will be able to enjoy sex without all of the anxiety.



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