Eva Jaber ’28 (she/her) is a prospective English or international relations major. She is a member of the Cleftomaniacs, an a cappella group, an ESL tutor and hopes to encourage peace-minded advocacy on campus. Contact her at ehjaber@wm.edu.
The views expressed in the article are the author’s own.
The best part of every week in the life of Eva is when I decide what question I’m answering for my bimonthly Apple. I start to see the world completely differently. Nothing matters except the quest for my answer. For Eva’s Apple #2, wherein I provided brilliant situationship advice (if you haven’t read that one yet, that’s the reason things haven’t been going your way in life), the human beings around me ceased to be nuanced individuals and instead became potential case studies for my analysis of love and loss. If I expressed interest in your life during the week leading up to March 5, 2025, it was — and I’ll hold your hand while I tell you this — completely disingenuous and driven by ulterior motives. Did I ask you invasive questions about your relationship status? Did I mutter “Okay, yep, I can work with that” under my breath while you poured your heart out about a recent breakup? Now you know that you were my fieldwork.
This week, while I was scrolling on my explore page and giggling at a hummingbird meme that said, “I just flew non-stop over the Gulf of Mexico. I fought a headwind for 400 miles. I weigh less than a nickel. If that red feeder isn’t freshly washed and filled when I land, I am taking it out on your patio furniture,” I felt a twinge of guilt about the fact that I wasn’t being productive. For a moment, I started to console myself by repeating the following affirmations: My productive output is not my worth; I am more than the things I accomplish; my work-life balance is my superpower. But then it dawned on me. My productive output is my worth. I need to stop making excuses for the legitimacy of my procrastination and start finding ways to reframe my brainrot time as necessary for the production of quality work. Then, I posted my call for Apple questions. As potential questions of the week rolled in, I was struck by a particular submission that seemed to offer a perfect solution to the problem at hand. Suddenly, I was not scrolling my day away. I was doing field research.
The question of the week is as follows:
“Advice for building a meme/screenshot collection as inspiring, diverse, and full as urs?”
You don’t really know a person (me) until you’ve heard their innermost thoughts (seen the “memes” folder of my camera roll). I am a firm believer in the notion that a sense of humor is an acquired skill. I’ve never seen a baby that could do stand-up comedy straight out of the womb. If you can show me evidence to the contrary, I’ll reconsider my position. In the meantime, I will spread my gospel far and wide.
Very few people have had the privilege of seeing the over 200-image folder that is my meme collection. That’s an intentional choice. Every joke I use in daily conversation is recycled and repurposed from the generative mind of another. No one. I repeat — NO ONE — has ever had an original thought. We are simply parrots who practice the same bits over and over and over again until they land. I often pause mid-conversation to whip out my phone and write down a joke that came up organically to use in a later Apple. I have a notes app open on my phone right now full of quotes like, “We’re not losing the ancient texts,” “Six Kevin” and “No mogging in the popular education spiral.” I have no idea what any of these mean, but I know they meant something to me before, and perhaps they will mean something to me again someday. When they do, I will use them in an Apple. You see, that’s all life is: doing crowdwork until a joke sticks. Then you hold onto that routine for dear life until you are old and jaded and boring and no longer wanted. Then you pivot. Rinse, repeat and revel.
So, what is my advice for building the perfect meme collection? Well, this question asker wants to know how to make a meme collection inspiring, diverse and full. Behold! I have provided you with advice to achieve all three:
1) Inspiring: A few days ago, I sent my friend Lindsay (hi Lindsay — she copy edits this column) a meme of a guy walking toward a portal that said, “The only way to thug it out is to thug it through.” She responded, “Woah…this is so inspirational.” I made Lindsay feel understood, motivated, reborn. That’s what a good meme does. I knew it would give Lindsay the serotonin boost she needed because I had personal experience being rescued from the depths of despair by the very same meme. On Monday, I ordered a four-egg chili cheese scramble at Hohl for lunch before remembering that I already had a two-egg omelette for breakfast. I refuse to waste food. When the chili cheese scramble came, I feasted upon the dish. Did I consume half a dozen eggs in less than four hours? Maybe. But the only way to thug it out is to thug it through. So, when I saw that Lindsay was spiritually feeling like a half-a-dozen-egg-under-four-hour-consuming lad, I knew what meme would do the trick. To know how to inspire others, you need to have had experiences that taught you how to overcome challenges. Have you lived an easy, stress-free life? You can go to Sadler right now and get an omelette. Wait two and a half hours, and then order a four-egg chili cheese scramble from Hohl. Half a dozen eggs in under four hours. You have to thug it through.
2) Diverse: Your reservoir of memes needs to span the entire spectrum of human emotions. I Googled what the most negative human emotion is, and anger is the first thing that came up. Perfect. I have a meme in my collection that says, “unfortunately i’m not nonchalant, i will set you on fire.” What’s the world’s most positive human emotion? Google says joy. Great. I have a meme in my collection that shows a cartoon duck saying, “i like juice box.” Want a more nuanced emotion? Let’s try ambition. My favorite meme in my collection is just a white background with black text that says, “I took a screenshot of the whole world.” You wanna see ingenuity? I have a meme of a puppy wearing a hairbow that says, “I LUV EATING DRY CEREAL IT’S LIKE EATING DOG FOOD 4 GIRLS.” The possibilities are endless.
3) Full: A good meme has to make you feel complete — as if something was missing that you couldn’t quite place, and then an image comes along with a small bit of text that changes everything. One of the most powerful memes in my collection is a baby pony standing inside a tire that says, “born to be babygirl … forced to be big dawg.” In this world, we are all just babygirls facing challenges and experiences that necessitate our posing as big dawgs. A good meme to help us articulate that experience can make it all the easier to persevere. Sure, there may be a light at the end of the tunnel, but why not light a candle along the way? My memes are my candles. They can be yours, too. All you have to do is muster up the courage to bring the flame to the wick.
We’re all thinking the same thing. That was bars. See you in two weeks.
