I love airport security. Walking through a metal detector and being randomly felt up by a uniformed stranger makes me feel more important than Nicole Richie. Yet, on my trip to Paris, I waited in the security line for over two hours. Standing took all the fun out of the security process and reminded me of how inefficient the French really are.

p. “I don’t think I’m going to make my flight,” the balding, middle-aged man in line next to me said. I hate it when strangers talk to me in line because I never know what to say. Instead of sympathizing with him or confirming that he would be stuck in the airport forever, I pretended to be deaf.

p. A squat security woman patrolled the line to prevent any butting. “Arrete-uh,” she said to the man. He was pleading to be moved to the front of the line. People say that French is a beautiful language, but Parisians always add the sound “uh” to the end of phrases. It makes them sound like kindergartners. It also made the security woman more grating.

p. “Vous avez beaucoup de temps-uh,” she said, which, translates to “you have enough time.” A more accurate interpretation, however, would be “I am a giant moron-uh.” The woman clearly could have moved the man to the front of the line without any trouble. Yet she, like everyone in Paris, seemed bent on acting with less reason than a hamster.

p. Everything in Paris takes forever. At the supermarket, I stood in line for 10 minutes to buy one baguette and a bar of chocolate. The grocery store was not particularly crowded, and there were plenty of open checkout lanes. However, my checkout lady moved slower than a turtle as she scanned my bar of chocolate and collected my change. It made Wawa seem like a breeze. What’s worse, instead of bagging my goods, she handed me a plastic bag so that I could bag my baguette myself.

p. My trip was riddled with similar wastes of time. In a cafe along the Seine, a friend and I sat for 15 minutes before our waitress finally came.

p. “Sorry, I forgot you two were here,” she said. My friend, who has lived in Paris for the past year, was not bothered at all.

p. “I’m sure she was busy,” my friend explained. Evidently, in Paris it’s okay to do a terrible job and overcharge people for it.

p.The same thing happened at Le Louvre, where only one ticket booth was open while two other employees sat, apparently doing nothing. I approached one of the men and attempted to buy a ticket.

p. “We’re closed” the man said. He had a glossy tabloid-style magazine opened before him.

p. The inefficiency of the French would be less bothersome if Paris were cheaper. I could just imagine all of my money being funneled into one of France’s numerous social programs. The $15 I spent to see a movie at the cinema would probably go toward the exorbitant medical costs incurred by someone with a splinter. A plate of eggs and beans that cost me $20 would make it possible for some French university student to write poems about baguettes for his honors thesis; that $50 I spent on a haircut would be squandered to treat a cat with diabetes. I was subsidizing French inefficiency.

p. At the airport, I was also beginning to get nervous. In my mind, I imagined looking through the glass terminal windows as my plane took off without me. I didn’t want to be stuck in this nation of morons for one more minute, for fear that I, too, might start adding “-uh” to everything I said. The nervous man next to me hopped the line when the security woman wasn’t looking. I wished I hadn’t feigned deafness, because I wanted to congratulate him on making it out of Paris alive.

p. Paris would not have been such a monumental disappointment had my expectations been lower. “You’re going to love Paris,” my friends informed me when I explained my spring break plans. Even the stewardess on my plane told me to have a great time while she checked my boarding pass.

p. Perhaps the problem was not with France, but with me. Instead of expecting Paris to accommodate me, I could have better accommodated Paris by decelerating the pace of my life. I would love to have time to appreciate paintings and fine wines and Eiffel Towers. But how efficient is that?

p. James Damon is a Confusion Corner columnist. He’d happily pay $20 for a baguette, if he can skip the line-uh.

__Finance VP Jones says raise doesn’t meet inflation__

p. The new state-funded raises for all faculty and staff may not meet inflation, but, at 2 percent, they exceed the expectations of College officials.

p. Interim College President Taylor Reveley announced the raises in a campus-wide e-mail.

p. “I am delighted to report that the budget includes raises — albeit small ones — for faculty and staff,” Reveley said. “Original proposals included no raises this year.”

p. All public universities in Virginia received a 2 percent salary increase, Vice President for Finance Sam Jones told The Flat Hat.

p. The College may fund further salary raises on its own, Jones added. He pointed out that the College made permanent budget cuts totaling $2.7 million after the state budget crunch last year, and that restoring those would likely take priority over salary increases.

p. Jones said employee salaries may not keep up with inflation over the next two years, attributing it to economic slowdowns.

p. “In general, when there is a slowdown in the economy, higher education takes a big share of the cuts,” he said. “[The College has] a way to generate revenue — tuition — that these other programs often don’t have.”

p. Since 1980, state funding has fallen from 42.8 percent of the College’s budget to less than 20.

p. Despite extending its regular session by five days, the Virginia State Assembly could not reach a consensus on certain capital outlays at the College. Funding for construction of the new School of Education, the renovation of Tucker Hall and other utility infrastructure projects is yet to be approved because it was bundled with controversial measures.

p. Both the House and Senate versions of the budget included funding provisions for these projects. Deadlock only came because of other parts of the budget.

p. “I am cautiously optimistic that these will go through,” Jones said.

p. Reveley also indicated that he expected successful resolution of the issue April 23.

p. The current budget still provides funding for the continued construction of the Integrated Science Center and undergraduate financial aid and gives $75,000 for biomedical research.

__City official reflects on regional homelessness__

**[Part One of a Series]**

p. Pete Walentisch is building an imaginary house of cards with his hands on an empty table in Williamsburg’s Municipal Building.

p. Because — and on this point he is adamant — you can’t understand homelessness unless you compare an individual’s life to a house of cards.

p. Imagine each aspect of your life is one card. A card may be school, your family relationships, your friends etc. The closer a card to the foundation of your house of cards, the more important it is, because other cards rely on that card for support.

p. “When each of us confronts a problem, if the card is on top, chances are, the rest of what you dealt [underneath] for security is okay. It keeps the house standing,” he said, describing how a single crisis can result in homelessness. “If a card impacts tons of other cards, the whole house of cards starts to tumble.”

p. Walentisch oversees the Department of Human Services for the City of Williamsburg, which operates several programs that provide aid to the homeless in the Williamsburg area.

p. According to a November 2005 report from the various mayors and chairs of the Virginia peninsula, 1,034 individuals were identified as homeless in a head count made Jan. 26, 2005. Of those counted, nearly 30 percent had no form of temporary shelter on that particular night. Furthermore, 71 percent suffered from a mental illness or substance abuse disorder. Of the 1,034 identified, 282 were individuals with children.

p. Walentisch groups homeless individuals into three major categories: local residents who are facing life crises, transients who have nowhere to go, and discharges from local jails, mental institutions or other facilities who do not have the resources to find permanent residences.

p. “You can’t stereotype,” Walentisch said. “There are as many reasons [for homelessness] as there are homeless people. There’s extenuating circumstances in each individual and family that has brought them to homelessness.”

p. Despite a broad categorization of homelessness, each case is highly specific and requires specific attention to the complications that have led them to Human Services for help, he said.

p. “Human Services may help you pay for a few nights in a motel, help you find a job,” Walentisch said. “Then we’ll begin to assess other needs. You don’t solve a problem by putting someone in a motel for a few nights.”

p. According to a 2006 report given to the City Council, there are local contributing factors that affect individuals at risk for homelessness. These include the high cost of living in Williamsburg, lack of permanent employment opportunities and the high cost of childcare.

p. Typically, Human Services tries to move the homeless from temporary shelters to transitional housing, which may be subsidized by non-profit groups like the Salvation Army. Those in one of the 104 citywide public housing units are offered rent at 30 percent of their income.

p. In the first five months of 2005, the United Way of Greater Williamsburg had 108 requests for temporary shelter. Twenty percent of these petitions had made requests in the city prior to moving into the county. According to the Peninsula report, from 1997 to 2005 there was a consistent shortage of beds for both individuals and families seeking shelter. This gap expanded during the spring and summer months when winter shelters were closed.

p. Ultimately, the homelessness problem faced by the Peninsula is just a microcosm of homelessness throughout the country. Because each case of homelessness is unique, there is no effective blanket response that will solve the problem, Walentisch said.

p. “The goal is to get a family to a point of stability,” Walentisch said.

p. This means a secure income, housing, daycare, education and, in many cases, medical care or substance abuse therapy for the individual. However, he says Human Services can only provide so much, and for many people, the shattering effect homelessness has on self-esteem requires many social workers to help people rebuild one card at a time.

p. According to Walentisch, it takes a certain level of self-initiative on the part of the individual seeking help. The stabilization process can take anywhere from six months to years, and it is impossible for the city to provide all resources.

p. “We can’t do it alone. Partnerships with other public organizations as well as private, also education and businesses, it involves everyone,” Walentisch said. “It is so easy for the cards to collapse; you have to show sensitivity to what led to the collapse. You help rebuild, and it’s easy to be supportive, but what do you do?”

__Engstrom allegedly pushed mother-in-law__

p. College professor Eric Engstrom was arrested March 5 on one count of simple assault after allegedly shoving his mother-in-law in his James City residence.

p. The victim, Judith Walthen, had been looking after Engstrom’s son. Engstrom and his wife are separated, but his wife and son reside in a house he owns.

p. According to Walthen’s police statement, Engstrom appeared in the house without first giving notice that he would be visiting. She said he then repeatedly ignored her questioning and went straight to talk with his son, who, according to Engstrom’s report, had been homesick.

p. Walthen then approached Engstrom with a phone, having called his wife to mediate the situation. After she refused to leave the room at his request, she said he shoved her, grabbed the phone and threw it. At this point, he allegedly grabbed her and pushed her out of the room.
Walthen said that a recent surgery had made the struggle especially painful. Officers responded at approximately 9:52 p.m.
Engstrom has taught as an assistant professor of biology at the College since August 2005. Biology chair and professor Paul Heideman could not comment on any possible change in hiring status based on recent events.
Engstrom declined to comment.

__EDITOR’S NOTE: Some comments were removed because they were determined to be potentially libelous or unnecessarily damaging.__

**Monday, Feb. 25 —** A 25-year-old male was arrested at the intersection of Parkway and Forest Hill Dr. for driving with a suspended license. This was his second offense. **(1)**

p. **Wednesday, Feb. 27 —** A 35-year-old male was charged on the 100 block of Bypass Rd. for a DUI. **(2)**

p. **Saturday, Mar. 1 —** A 22-year-old male was pulled over and arrested for possession of marijuana at the intersection of Richmond Rd. and Boundary St. **(3)**

p. — A 37-year-old male was pulled over for speeding on the 100 block of York St. and then arrested for driving with a suspended license. **(4)**

p. — A 41-year-old male was pulled over on 600 Block of South Henry St. and arrested for driving with a suspended license. His license was then revoked as it was his fourth offense. **(5)**

p. **Sunday, Mar. 2 —** A 44-year-old male was pulled over for speeding, refused a breath test and was then arrested for a DUI on the 200 Block of South Henry St. **(5)**

p. — A 23-year-old male was arrested for his second protective order violation and for giving false information to a law enforcement officer on the 300 Block of Bypass Rd. **(6)**

p. — A 51-year-old female was arrested for a DUI on Jackson Dr.
Monday, Mar. 3 **(7)**

p. — A 44-year-old male was arrested for larceny after stealing a bottle of Colt 45 on the 300 block of Richmond Rd. **(8)**

p. **Thursday, Mar. 6 —** A 23-year-old male was arrested on the 300 block of Richmond Rd. for a DWI. **(8)**

p. — A 31-year-old male was arrested for driving under the influence on the 1400 block of Richmond Rd. **(9)**

p. — A 39-year-old female was arrested for being drunk in public on the 600 block of Scotland Rd. at 8:54 a.m. **(10)**

p. **Friday, Mar. 7 —** A 21-year-old male was arrested on the 1400 block of Richmond Rd. for the possession of marijuana. **(9)**

p. **Sunday, Mar. 9 —** A 27-year-old female was arrested on the 1300 block of Mount Vernon Ave. for possession of marijuana. **(11)**

p. **Thursday, March 14 —** A juvenile was arrested for assault and battery after lacerating a third party’s lip on the 100 block of Merrimac Trail. **(12)**

The American studies department at the College recently celebrated its 25th anniversary. Alumni, faculty and current students enrolled in the program gathered March 15 in the Campus Center’s Trinkle Hall to participate in a roundtable discussion entitled “What’s an American studies M.A. or Ph.D. to do?”

p. The discussion brought together approximately 50 scholars and professors according to W&M News.

p. Moderator Alan Wallach, the Ralph H. Wark Professor of Art and Art History, addressed the group, discussing both the positive and negative aspects of being an American studies graduate.
Alumnus Michael Plater, the Dean of Arts and Sciences at North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University, as well as the other panelists, underlined the “interdisciplinary outlook” of American studies in career successes.

The Williamsburg City Council approved the construction of a condominium project across from the Marshall-Wythe School of Law, according to the Mar. 15 issue of the Daily Press. The project was originally presented in January, and while council members supported the construction of condominiums in the area, they did not approve the design.

p. Some council members called the condominium “ugly,” while others insisted that the building will be too large for the smaller residential area that surrounds it.

p. Plans for the 10 condominiums were revised so that there were fewer double windows and balconies facing South Henry St.. The three-story brick building will also be largely hidden from the street by a line of trees.

**$953**
The average rent for a two-bedroom apartment in Williamsburg, according to rental site MyNewPlace.com.

p. **66 percent**
The proportion of Virginians at the College.

p. **986,120**
The number of words in the English language, according to an organization called the Global Language Monitor. In contrast, Spanish has 275,000 and French has 100,000.

p. **100 million**
The number of legal filings nationwide each year. More than half are for traffic violations.

**1931**
John Stewart Bryan, vice-rector of the College, presented a tablet to the College in honor of French casualties of the siege of Williamsburg in the Revolutionary War. Festivities took place by the west side of the Wren Building where the United States Navy Band entertained onlookers before Bryan spoke to the crowd.

p. **1952**
The celebrated Virginia pianist Marjorie Mitchell presented the fifth program of the year in the William and Mary concert series. The performance took place March 19 at Phi Beta Kappa Hall.

p. **1968**
Two new attendance records were set by the College’s Theater Department with their production of Cole Porter’s “Kiss Me Kate.” Over 2,200 people attended the musical over its three-night run.
Phi Beta Kappa auditorium, which seats 805, was sold out for two of the three nights. The previous record was for Brecht’s “The Threepenny Opera” several years before, with attendance slightly over 1,900.

p. **1978**
College officials decided to make Taliaferro Hall co-educational, and for the first time in the College’s history, some freshman lived among members of the opposite sex. Forty-four men lived on the first two floors, a mere nine women housed in the third -floor attic.