Dry forecast? Make it wet
January 26, 2008
p. You wouldn’t know it from the precipitous weather that Williamsburg has been dealing with, but there’s actually a dry spell going on. Not really in terms of weather, but I hear a lot of people have hit a sexual drought.
p. If you aren’t in a relationship — or sometimes even if you are — the amount of sex you’re getting can be as variable as the weather. Sometimes it’s a downpour; other times your overflowing condom jar sits mockingly on your nightstand. This forced chastity may be a blessing for you, but if not, how do you deal with the drought?
p. Just to clarify, everyone goes through dry spells. Unless you’re a porn star or an incredibly famous person, you’ve had those frustrating hit-or-miss nights at parties.
p. But taking a break isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes sexual conquests can tie you up — literally. Even if what you’re looking for is no-strings-attached sex, you must admit that a certain amount of time and energy is spent in both finding the other person and sealing the deal.
p. If you’ve just left a relationship, that’s another huge chunk of time that’s now available to you. Not to sound like the typical College student, but think of all the study time you’ve now got on your hands. That being said, even though the absence of sexual activity can relieve some mental and emotional stresses, it brings about a ton of new ones.
p. Having your mind fixated on your hunger for sex can cloud your thoughts during class and alter your judgment outside of it. I normally encourage sexual fantasies, but during class may be an exception. Also, when you’ve been extremely horny for a long time, it’s not uncommon to come out of a class-time fantasy and find yourself staring at someone’s crotch dazedly. If that person notices, you either have an instant chance of ending your sexual frustration or a restraining order headed your way.
p. Your social life can also be negatively affected if you’ve only got sex on the brain. As the need becomes a higher priority, all of your other standards begin to take a back seat. If you lower your standards just to get some much-needed action, you may well regret it the next morning. looking for someone to whom you are attracted — a feat in itself — but you’re looking for someone who’s going to let you use that sex drive.
p. Try not to let your growing sexual frustration come through when you’re chatting up people; the desperation comes through in your voice. As silly as it sounds, acting as though you couldn’t care less about when you’ll next have sex is sometimes the best bait.
p. Exude sexiness, don’t sweat it. It’s the same principle as acting indifferently to your desires. You need to be subtle in everything you do so that interested parties know that you’re up for fun, but not that you need it.
p. If you’re a girl, wear that outfit that you know sparks the imagination. Button enough buttons to be decent, but make sure his mind wanders to what’s underneath. Accidentally brushing your target’s arm and lingering a bit too long tends to work magic, but don’t try anything too out there. “Accidentally” dropping some condoms in front of the person is only meant for “Sex and the City.”
p. For the men, the same advice rings true: Showcase the best parts of your body, but don’t be the tool who comes to parties with a sleeveless shirt and constantly points to things by flexing.
p. Lay it on lightly and approach the person who catches your eye with confidence. After all, that’s the key for anyone looking to end a long term of forced celibacy: Stay focused, calm and confident.
p. Emily Powell is the Flat Hat sex columnist. She’s not letting the rain dampen her sex life.