Blowout ’09: The Drinking Game

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April 28, 2009

5:59 AM

__It’s finally time for everyone’s favorite annual tradition Friday: the Last Day of Classes, affectionately dubbed “Blowout.” But, since Kegs and Eggs gets old after maybe your second year of it, we thought it was time for a new activity. Thus, The Flat Hat brings to you the Blowout Drinking Game. It works much like any game you’d play watching “Family Guy” or the “Big Lebowski:” each time you see one of the following occurrences, take a drink. So take your Nalgenes, empty soda bottles and flasks and enjoy a day of prime people watching. This may lead to a merrier Blowout than expected, so keep it safe and please obey all state and federal laws__

**Take a drink every time someone:**
* Trips over the uneven brick pathways
* Asks a loud, stupid question in class
* Runs out of class for an emergency “bathroom” break
* Complains about not being able to do Blowout in a lab
* Decides to drink anyway in that science lab
* Whips out a flask during class when the professor’s back is turned

**Take two drinks every time you see:**
* Someone walking around with a red Solo cup
* Someone walking around campus, unnecessarily shirtless
* Someone trying to sneak Nalgene bottles of indeterminate contents into Earl Gregg Swem Library
* A game of third-floor Swem Shots and/or Swem Shotgun
* People doctoring their coffee at the Daily Grind.
* Someone napping and/or passed out in the Sunken Garden
* Someone walking around with a suspiciously large, or overstuffed, jingling backpack
* A hammered freshman making a much bigger deal out of Blowout than it actually is
* A clearly drunk person sporting a “Being sober never looked this G0.0D” T-shirt
* Elderly Williamsburg residents shaking their heads in utter disappointment

**Take three drinks every time:**
* Someone in a costume runs by
* Your professor tells anyone who’s been drinking to leave class
* You come across a random dance party on campus
* The police eye you suspiciously
* A loud senior toasting disturbs the relative peace of your dorm
* A professor or administrator denies the existence of Blowout
* You hear someone screaming, “Oh my god, I’m soooo drunk!”
* At the pancake house that evening, someone drops their meal and makes a scene
OR
* Screams/curses profusely at the Christian a cappella groups performing there

**Additionally:**
* If you see Taylor Reveley, take a voluptuous sip of your succulent beverage choice.
* If you encounter a tour group that looks absolutely terrified at the abundant debauchery, take a drink. Then scream at them.
* If you see a police car with its lights flashing, finish your drink — you don’t have much time.

Have fun and Happy Blowout.

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