Bones: Cluck you

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November 7, 2009

1:34 PM

Let me just say, this is one of the creepiest episode openers of “Bones” yet. Not because the body the Jeffersonian team discovers is abnormally grotesque or depressing, but because the crew that finds it happens to consist of a precocious group of little girls who do a shockingly efficient job of handling a dead body, right down to collecting GPS-coordinate-marked soil samples that even Hodgins admires.

The “Woodchucks” are wilderness girls and grade-A Brennanites who appear at the Jeffersonian, proud of their find: a severely decomposed body which seems to be half man, half chicken. While apparently not their victim, I am still quite unsettled by their big eyes and Girl Scout-esque uniforms. It’s like a little army of highly trained superkids that would do a great job of covering up a body. Anyways, back to the case.

The team tosses around theories of a super chicken soldier, but after much speculation they identify him as a worker at a chicken factory. Apparently, he didn’t take the necessary precautions at the plant and his face has become deformed due to chemicals. Booth and Brennan venture out to a giant chicken warehouse in the middle of nowhere and are met by a mob of angry protesters shouting poultry profanities at them. They tour the plant and provide a bit of commentary on animal rights before identifying several suspects. The victim’s wife, a baker who detests the plant’s smell, and a herd of animal rights activists are the initial leads.

One of the best moments of the episode has to be when Booth and Bones try to interrogate one of the protesters only to have him shout “Code yellow!” while the crowd “tars and feathers” the duo with yellow corn syrup and paper feathers. I really felt like we saw the actors themselves in this scene; Emily Deschanel and David Boreanaz could barely keep straight faces, despite the fact that their characters were supposed to be horrified and angry. Priceless.

Back at the lab, Angela is still prattling on endlessly about her celibacy. I’m sorry, but as much of an Angela fan as I am, she is seriously starting to get on my nerves. I sort of loved that Hodgins turned her down flat out when she went to him about her six months almost being up. I was thrilled that it was a Wendell week, that was, until Angela nearly jumped him because he gave her some money to save a piglet. Let me backtrack quickly; Angela was projecting her celibacy-issues onto saving a little pig for $1,500, and proceeded to go begging around the lab for donations. When Brennan shut her down in her typically logical manner, Angela becomes a whiney teenager and pitches a hissy fit. I empathized with Brennan when she said in a puzzled tone, “You don’t want to be friends anymore because the pig is cute?” Seriously Angela? But I digress.

Wendell gives Angela some money because she bats her eyelashes at him, and she starts making out with him in her office. Insert my shocked face here. I do not approve, not in the slightest. I am a hardcore Hodgins fan, so I am biased, but regardless. I had heard rumblings that Angela would be starting a relationship with another member of the team, but somehow Wendell with her just irks me.

When Brennan brings up her fight with Angela at the diner with Sweets and Booth, we get a classically adorable Booth/Brennan moment. Booth says with shocking earnestness, “I would do anything for you. I would die for you, I would kill for you. But I am not going to get between two friends.” Well said, Booth. As she starts to leave, he takes her hand into his and won’t let her go until he reassures her; needless to say, I was a puddle of goo at this point.

After the team performs a bizarre series of tests involving Booth’s tie and spinning Wendell on a chair and violently striking him with red paint and brushes, the Squints discover that the aforementioned security guard was actually the murderer. He had been trying to get money from the victim so that he could keep his wife healthy by not living there; Booth completely misreads him, and Brennan forces a confession from him on her own.

At the bar, Booth has an existential dilemma where he laments his inability to peg the murderer as a liar and doubts his own worth. He fears that he has lost his touch, but Brennan assures him that she knows him better than anyone, and that she knows he’s going to be fine. She asks him for advice on the piglet situation even though Sweets has already sagely suggested that she “let Angela have this one.” Booth agrees, and Brennan patches things up with her. Booth looks on with a giant grin, noticing Wendell’s hand on Angela’s arm. Again, not pleased. I was placated, however, by the ridiculously cute smiles that Booth and Brennan exchange when she returns. I’m glad that “Bones” is getting back into the characters’ personalities and interactions. As always, “Bones” strength resides in the interplay between its fantastic characters.

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