Bones: Mummy dearest

I was definitely looking forward to this week’s episode of “Bones” — not because I felt that the premise of an ancient mummy resurfacing was that promising, but because I wanted to see how Hart Hanson was going to try to convince me that Brennan could be attracted to anyone but Booth.

In the promo last week, we saw that Brennan was going to be venturing out on a date with Booth’s boss’s boss, and it wasn’t exactly going to sit well with him, for obvious reasons. Not-so-obvious, however, was how Brennan was going to handle this touchy situation. Enter Assistant Director Hacker. First and foremost: He has an icky receding hairline and creepy smile. I have no idea why Brennan finds him appealing, especially since the last real relationship we saw her in was with another agent, Sully, who was a Booth clone. As he enters Booth’s office and awkwardly tries to entice Brennan, I can’t help but wonder where the hell the writers even pulled him from.

The case: a 3,000 year old mummy is strapped to an electrical fence and covered in fresh blood. The Squints take it back to the lab and Sweets pleads with Brennan to allow the semi-psychotic Daisy Wick back into the lab as an intern, claiming he’s taught the fast-talker some breathing exercises that will calm her down.

Back in the lab, Brennan has a mini-freakout with Daisy. She completely geeks out over the possibility that the mummy might be new archaeological find, and seeing her all giddy over a crispy old Egyptian is just fun. An episode highlight: Brennan reciting the lines from “The Mummy” along with Boris Karloff in a very bizarre voice.

Brennan identifies the mummy as Prince Anok, the second son of a pharaoh who supposedly killed his own brother; he was on loan to the Jeffersonian from the Egyptian government. The woman running the exhibit is found stuffed into the mummy’s sarcophagus, the source of the blood found on Anok. I’m now freaked out because we rarely see realistic bodies on “Bones” — we get the ones that are mutilated beyond recognition, so we tend to forget they were once human. This lady? Completely fleshy and real, eye gauged through and everything. We see her again, head sliced open and brain being cut up like “carpaccio,” as Sweets suggests. Yuck, “Bones,” yuck.

We run through the typical list of about four suspects, and the case grows more curious when the Squints find that something hidden in Anok’s chest has been removed; we learn it was a ruby the size of a melon, certainly priceless enough to kill for. Following up on CAT scans that the victim had requested, Booth and Bones find that Mr. Turnbull, the exhibit’s administrator, had removed the ruby and killed Dr. Kaswell when she interrupted him. Brennan uses hieroglyphics found on Anok to justify exhuming his brother Meti’s remains to prove that Anok was in fact innocent, solving a 3,000 year old murder case as well as the present one because she’s just that good. (That and it gives the show an excuse to throw a gala which requires Booth and Bones to get all gussied up.)

On the Booth/Brennan front, this episode was rife with our dear frenemy — UST (for those who are unfamiliar, that’s Unresolved Sexual Tension). When Hacker asks Brennan about her relationship with Booth, she maintains that it’s strictly professional. Yeah, right Brennan; you keep telling yourself that. Angela too questions her about why she won’t date Booth, and Brennan says that there’s the potential for sex with Hacker. Angela presses her, asking why that’s not possible with Booth, and for the first time Brennan doesn’t outright deny it, but instead grins and changes the subject. Booth is managing his frustrated emotions relatively well, but after Hacker questions him about Brennan and he’s sitting alone all sullen-like, it just about breaks my heart.

At the gala the Jeffersonian is throwing for Brennan, we find the two prancing around the exhibit in fancy clothes. Booth in a tux is just beautiful, and the two finally stop and have one of the Booth/Bones moments devoted fans patiently wait for. Earlier in the episode Brennan accidentally divulges a personal story about Booth to Hacker, causing a temporary rift between Booth and herself.

In the museum scene, Booth and Bones exchange encouraging words about their mutual awesomeness, and in a truly adorable and poignant moment, Booth asks Brennan why she brought him to the event when Hacker said she had planned on taking him. Brennan echoes Booth’s earlier words: “What goes on between us is ours.” Brennan adjusts his bowtie and I pretty much stop functioning. At this point they’ve moved so close together they’re practically breathing the same air, and just as they seem ready to kiss, the riotous Squint Squad bursts into the room in typical break-up-a-kiss fashion. Let me just say that Angela is the worst wingman ever; one minute she’s trying to get them together, the next she’s ruining their blissfully perfect moment. The almost-couple separates, both smiling slightly, and return to the party. Needless to say, I can’t wait until Nov. 5.


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