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Student faces $5,000 embezzlement charge

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p. After a campus police investigation, William McClain ’08 was arrested Jan. 18 and charged with embezzling more than $5,000 from Students Serve, a student-run nonprofit organization that gives academic grants for community service projects.

p. McClain, who served as associate director of finance for the organization, faces a range of potential punitive actions from the College, in addition to state criminal charges.

p. McClain is also the vice president of the Beta Theta Pi fraternity and has served as an orientation aide and the recycling coordinator for the Student Assembly, according to his student profile on the fraternity’s website.

p. McClain’s case, like all other student cases, will first be dealt with by the College administration, and then the case may pass on to the Judicial Council or to the Honor Council. Those decisions are handled on a case-by-case basis, and discussion of individual cases is prevented by the Family Education Rights and Privacy Act.

p. “Any violation of law by students is subject to the school’s disciplinary system. These can range from a warning to full dismissal,” College spokeswoman Suzanne Seurattan said.

p. The Executive Director of Students Serve, Angela Perkey ’09 reported the alleged embezzlement to College police Jan. 14. Lieutenant John Coleman headed the investigation, analyzing Students Serve’s records and speaking to individuals who are involved in the organization.

p. “We spoke to several individuals and ultimately to McClain. The details of the investigation will come out in court,” Coleman said.

p. In an interview with The Flat Hat, Perkey said that the missing funds had been restored and College police had decided to press charges.

p. Perkey also said that she was taking steps to avoid similar incidents in the future and that other service organizations can learn from the incident.

“We are making sure that this will never happen again,” Perkey said. “I would definitely advise other student leaders to go ahead and at least review their financial procedures,” Perkey said.

p. According to Perkey, all is back to normal at Students Serve.

p. “Students Serve is back in action. We’re ready to go; we have our next grant application deadline Mar. 15,” Perkey said.

p. McClain was held in the Peninsula Regional Jail in Jamestown and issued a $3,000 unsecured bond.

Hollywood gossip

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p. Lil Wayne, big stash

p. Lil Wayne got tha blues Wednesday morning when his charter bus was stopped. The young playa was arrested on enemy turf for possession of 3.7 ounces of marijuana, 1 ounce of cocaine and 1.45 ounces of ecstasy. Two members of his entourage, Curtis Stewart and Harold Johnson, were arrested for marijuana possession as well. In addition to drugs, the fly talkin’ rapper was also carrying a .40-caliber pistol and more than $22,000 in cash.

p. Heading for the Hills

p. No longer tied to her former employer, Teen Vogue, Lauren Conrad is moving out. The career intern is moving to the Hollywood Hills with roommate Audrina Patridge and “Laguna Beach” pal Lo Bosworth. With few, if any, serious ambitions, the girls are looking forward to another inane year in the Hills. According to Audrina, “New year, new house, new jobs, new boys, new everything. It’s gonna be fun.”

p. Menage a quatre

p. After a wild and wicked birthday bash with the likes of Kelly Osbourne and Ronnie Wood of the Rolling Stones, Kate Moss just doesn’t know what to do with herself. According to a British tabloid, the fashion muse sought sex with strangers — she reportedly had a racy rendezvous with two female models and a man following the sexy soiree. The supermodel denies the orgy accusations and has instructed her lawyer to take legal action.

p. ‘Sex and the City’ throwdown

p. Smart people — especially celebrities — should probably avoid public skirmishes. Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick found themselves in a very public fight Wednesday. The New York power couple, who usually take pains to keep their personal lives private, were spotted bickering back and forth on a Manhattan subway platform. Sounds like Stepford isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Horoscopes

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p. Aquarius: Jan. 20 – Feb. 18
You haven’t spent much time thinking about Britney Spears before, but come Thursday, you’ll find out exactly why she’s been institutionalized.

p. Aries: March 21 – April 19
You will learn that there is, indeed, more than one way to skin a cat after your exceptionally sadistic Resident Assistant discovers your neighbor’s tabby.

p. Pisces: Feb. 19 – March 20
Unfortunately, your HMO subscribes to the following philosophy: “If time heals all wounds, and time is money, then money heals all wounds.”

p. Taurus: April 20 – May 20
The entire College population will gain weight when the new French dining hall director runs out of vegetables and replies, “Let them eat cake.”

p. Gemini: May 21- June 21
Your fetishes for beef and economists will be revived this week during the first annual economics department barbeque and orgy.

p. Cancer: June 22 – July 22
Although you’ve always been a staunch liberal, you will come to understand George W. Bush on Monday when you choke on a pretzel.

p. Leo: July 23 – Aug. 22
You’ve always been a curious person, but trust the stars when they tell you that you don’t want to know from whence those little Vienna sausages come.

p. Virgo: Aug. 23 – Sept. 22
Before you ask, your roommate has a very good reason to keep Meryl Streep tied up and sedated under a pile of clothes in her closet.

p. Libra: Sept. 23 – Oct. 22
Today’s horoscopes are brought to you by Head On: Apply directly to the forehead. Head On: Apply directly to the forehead.

p. Scorpio: Oct. 23 – Nov. 21
You’ll learn to lock your door when your parents, best friend, priest and family dog drop in for a surprise visit during a passionate encounter.

p. Sagittarius: Nov. 22 – Dec. 21
Students often hide their cars to avoid tickets and fines, but dismantling your Dodge Durango and storing it under your bed simply isn’t feasible.

p. Capricorn: Dec. 22 – Jan. 19
From the sublime to the ridiculous is only a step; however, from Morton Hall to the College Apartments is one mile.

Dry forecast? Make it wet

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p. You wouldn’t know it from the precipitous weather that Williamsburg has been dealing with, but there’s actually a dry spell going on. Not really in terms of weather, but I hear a lot of people have hit a sexual drought.

p. If you aren’t in a relationship — or sometimes even if you are — the amount of sex you’re getting can be as variable as the weather. Sometimes it’s a downpour; other times your overflowing condom jar sits mockingly on your nightstand. This forced chastity may be a blessing for you, but if not, how do you deal with the drought?

p. Just to clarify, everyone goes through dry spells. Unless you’re a porn star or an incredibly famous person, you’ve had those frustrating hit-or-miss nights at parties.

p. But taking a break isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes sexual conquests can tie you up — literally. Even if what you’re looking for is no-strings-attached sex, you must admit that a certain amount of time and energy is spent in both finding the other person and sealing the deal.

p. If you’ve just left a relationship, that’s another huge chunk of time that’s now available to you. Not to sound like the typical College student, but think of all the study time you’ve now got on your hands. That being said, even though the absence of sexual activity can relieve some mental and emotional stresses, it brings about a ton of new ones.

p. Having your mind fixated on your hunger for sex can cloud your thoughts during class and alter your judgment outside of it. I normally encourage sexual fantasies, but during class may be an exception. Also, when you’ve been extremely horny for a long time, it’s not uncommon to come out of a class-time fantasy and find yourself staring at someone’s crotch dazedly. If that person notices, you either have an instant chance of ending your sexual frustration or a restraining order headed your way.

p. Your social life can also be negatively affected if you’ve only got sex on the brain. As the need becomes a higher priority, all of your other standards begin to take a back seat. If you lower your standards just to get some much-needed action, you may well regret it the next morning. looking for someone to whom you are attracted — a feat in itself — but you’re looking for someone who’s going to let you use that sex drive.

p. Try not to let your growing sexual frustration come through when you’re chatting up people; the desperation comes through in your voice. As silly as it sounds, acting as though you couldn’t care less about when you’ll next have sex is sometimes the best bait.

p. Exude sexiness, don’t sweat it. It’s the same principle as acting indifferently to your desires. You need to be subtle in everything you do so that interested parties know that you’re up for fun, but not that you need it.

p. If you’re a girl, wear that outfit that you know sparks the imagination. Button enough buttons to be decent, but make sure his mind wanders to what’s underneath. Accidentally brushing your target’s arm and lingering a bit too long tends to work magic, but don’t try anything too out there. “Accidentally” dropping some condoms in front of the person is only meant for “Sex and the City.”

p. For the men, the same advice rings true: Showcase the best parts of your body, but don’t be the tool who comes to parties with a sleeveless shirt and constantly points to things by flexing.

p. Lay it on lightly and approach the person who catches your eye with confidence. After all, that’s the key for anyone looking to end a long term of forced celibacy: Stay focused, calm and confident.

p. Emily Powell is the Flat Hat sex columnist. She’s not letting the rain dampen her sex life.

That Guy: Andrew Cunningham

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p. I walk into the room for our interview to find Andrew Cunningham sitting at a table with two cups of fresh hot cocoa, candy canes and marshmallows. The table is scattered with holiday cards, most of which are already written and addressed. He is potentially the only person I know who would be writing cards to family and friends amidst our winter finals. Yet, this setting is only a surface insight to Andrew’s dedication to those close to him. Among his limited-scope goals listed on his Facebook profile he included “Be ‘That Guy’ in the Flat Hat.”

p. What is your biggest fear?

p. I cannot stand the feel of foam. Not like foam in coffee, but rather the mattress type foam. Like all the stuff electronics are packed in. Ugh, I hate that stuff. I even take those foam things off my headphones. My freshman hallmates would tape it around my door as a joke because they knew how much I hate it.

p. A more legitimate one is the idea that, a lot of times, I feel like everyone should be working to be better in anything. There is no reason to stop. Maybe work on other areas of your life, but no one is going to max out on any of those things and my biggest fear is to stop thinking that way and just to say, “I’m done.” To stop trying to develop or improve and have to look back and realize that and that I am exactly the same person I was before. There’s no excuse for that. It’s not an issue of being dissatisfied with yourself in any way, but I see no reason to stagnate.

p. Do you think you’ve changed in your time at the College?

p. The past two semesters, I’ve been in charge of APO pledge staff, and over my time here helped to initiate close to 350 brothers of APO. It’s exhausting, but on the last day we had our brothers’ meeting, Brian Chiglinsky had brothers stand if I had helped them pledge and everyone except those that had pledged a semester before me or when I went through the process stood. I was really floored by the number and there’s no denying that APO is a huge part of what I’m about here at William and Mary.

p. How were you different in high school or even elementary school?

p. I was not like this at all. I would say the biggest difference was that I wasn’t open to others or even to myself. I don’t really know how to describe it. I had a reputation of being smart and stuck up about it. As much I would hate to admit it, I think I was like that. People would say, “You’re not missing anything if you’re not friends with him.”

p. I would get embarrassed a lot when I was little. I was the kid who cried about everything and anything. [On] the first day of kindergarten. I was sitting next to Alan Matt and he looked at my sandwich and, in a really calm way, said “You like lettuce?” I interpreted that as “Ew, you like lettuce?!” and I just started bawling that my mother had sent me to school with lettuce. Normal people just don’t do things like that. Youlikelettuce: I even made a screen name about it.

p. If you had to flash forward, how do you see your life changing and developing after graduation?

p. Professor [George] Greenia always tells me that the average person changes careers seven times in his life. That is what is keeping me sane right now. I am hoping that I never have to have a career and I know that sounds odd. I am currently treating the real world like I do toward college: procrastinating. I’m not looking for a real job that I want to keep for the rest of my life. I know I don’t want to go directly to graduate school because I’m not sure exactly what I want to do yet, and I feel as if I should figure out that first so I can then determine what further education I’ll need. I’d like to apply to the Peace Corps if I haven’t already missed the application deadline, but I probably have.

p. You said earlier that the College has helped you in ways other places couldn’t have. Are these the same things that made you attracted to the in the first place?

p. In truth, I originally didn’t want to come to William and Mary. The whole process … I just messed it up and never did anything right. I decided that because I liked languages in high school, I wanted to go to a school that had an acclaimed international program. I applied early action to Georgetown and when I got in I almost withdrew my state school applications but was just too lazy to do it. I drove the four hours up to Georgetown with my family from Roanoke for their Day for Admitted Students and didn’t see anyone. I finally found the welcome banner but even that was hanging haphazardly from the building. I then found out that the Admitted Students Day weekend was Friday and Saturday not Saturday and Sunday and that I had missed everything. Even after that, WM wasn’t top on my list and I was more considering U.Va. because that’s where my brother had gone. What really got me were the different attitudes from the acceptance letters. Other schools would talk about how proud I should be because of what fine institutions they were, which they are, but almost to the point of asking me to further impress them. I compared those to William and Mary’s which was more like, ‘We’re so excited … come all these days for admitted students weekend …’ and it just sounded like so much fun. I spent the entire weekend and here I was blown away and was so impressed after that weekend that I had pretty much decided I wanted to go and told my dad to send in the deposit. I absolutely loved the attitude William and Mary had and it’s really what this school is like. They were able to reflect who they were and a place that I wanted to be a part of.

Member enlargement, spam e-mails: a ‘big’ problem

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p. You guys, this is really embarrassing. Somehow everyone in cyberspace knows I have a small penis. It’s so small, it’s nonexistent! I keep getting these e-mails to “make my lovestick longer and more powerful.” So, which one of you let the cat out of the bag?

p. The good thing is, apparently I’m not alone. Did you know that each member of Alpha Chi Omega’s executive board has a really small penis? Yeah, they sure do, because my penile enlargement friends are trying to help them with their predicament. Work at the Rec Center? Chances are you have a very tiny penis — though I’m sure that might be up for debate.

p. I just wish I could get that job. I want to know who sits around writing these eye-catching, wit-testing one-liners about sexual giants. That just seems like the most awesome way to make a buck. In honor of these hard-working penis pushers, here are some of the best and brightest subject lines.

p. Improbable effect on your phallus! — I just like the idea of the unknown this evokes. Many effects are improbable: for example, color change, defenestration or, in reality, any kind of enlargement. But man, playing the odds with genitalia is fun.

p. Herbal science comes to your rescue! — Dude, if the writers’ strike weren’t ending (in two weeks, cross your fingers), these people could write the final season of “Lost.” Who knew that erectile dysfunction was the problem? And on a show like that, I think that’s pretty feasible.

p. Easily attainable massive male package — I’m a little concerned about mail-order penis replacements. This whole thing might not be able to fit in my CSU box, but gosh darn it, it’s so easy, I might as well go for it.

p. This is your thingy…..this is your thingy on meds. Any Questions? — Yes, many. Which thingy are we talking about here: I mean, personally, I call a lot of items “thingy.” Does my remote control need to be bigger? Perhaps. Also, is this like a your-brain-on-drugs situation? Because I don’t want my new penis to be dysfunctional.

p. You’re my Dream — I think this is my favorite, because if they were selling a subscription to e-mails that just make me feel better about myself, that’s something I would buy.

p. Magic transformations of your willy — I’m just concerned that they don’t exactly know what’s in these pills they’re peddling. Also, something about this advertising campaign is very juvenile. Exactly what is the audience here that they decided to choose willy of all euphemisms? As someone of the “Free Willy” generation and, therefore, the glorious Michael Jackson theme song, willy just brings up a slew of other associations.

p. Make your lassie moan with lust and passion! — Oh, this is no good. I just can’t shake the image of a border collie doing it with some guy with a tiny penis. I suppose this does nail down the audience a bit more; I think the e-mails are intended for Irish children.

p. Try this and you’re welcome in the world of s’e_xual giants! /Don’t miss a chance to become a s’e_xual giant! — Is this like the Junior League? The NYAC? Phi Beta Kappa? I want to be let in to the sexual giant club world. If I am a member, do my children attend some kind of cotillion?

p. So kudos to you, sexual enhancement subject line writers.

p. Charlotte Savino is a Confusion Corner columnist. She say NO to being small-size loser!

Class donates to local literacy problem

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p. If only every time you skipped class you were donating to charity. That’s what happens when a student misses Daniel Byler’s ’09 speed reading class.

p. Every Sunday, students receive back $5 of the commitment fee they paid for the class. When a student misses a class, his or her $5 goes to a literacy fund.

p. Last semester Byler collected approximately $1,000 from the class, which will be donated to the Rita Welsh Adult Literacy Program.

p. The Rita Welsh Adult Literacy Program “provides one-to-one tutoring in basic reading, math, GED preparation and English as a second language to adults in the Greater Williamsburg area,” the online mission statement reads. Participants of the program must be at least 18 and live or work in the Greater Williamsburg area. Half of the tutors are College students and half are from the community.

p. “Our tutors are all highly educated and range from being 18 to in their late 70s.” Nancy Fazzone, the program’s executive director, said. “Tutors meet with their students for about an hour and a half for each week of the 12-week semester.

p. Fazzone anticipates that the speed reading donation will be used as a matching grant. “It’ll be offered as an incentive, and we expect it to be received as a challenge grant,” she said.

p. When asked how the program would use the money, Fazzone said, “The money will go to our budget and be used for things like our award ceremony in the spring, where we thank the tutors and give certificates to the learners. We also print a journal every year called Aspirations, which is a collection of learners’ stories that they submit.” In addition, the money will go toward resources for the learners, such as the computer-assisted learning lab.

p. Byler said he chose to donate to Rita Welsh because “it serves the local community and a lot of William and Mary students volunteer there.” The first semester Byler offered the class, he had about 20 students and donated $200 dollars. With 100 students last semester, the donation amounted to $1,000.

p. The class starts Sunday 27 at 3 p.m. and lasts 10 weeks. In last semester’s course, students at least doubled their reading rate, with the average increase being 400 percent and retention levels staying high.

p. Whereas last fall Byler taught three sections of the class every Sunday, this spring will feature one combined class. He is confident that students will still enjoy the benefits of a smaller class and will keep the same teaching assistant to student ratio of 25-to-1. TAs send each student a weekly e-mail tracking his or her speed reading progress. In addition, office hours will be expanded to provide more individual attention if needed.

p. This will be the last semester speed reading is offered by Byler. As his senior year approaches and he becomes more focused on his career, the time commitment of 15 hours per week will interfere with his work. “I’ve really enjoyed the class,” he said. “It’s been personally gratifying and I hope the class fills up so I can reach the greatest number of students.”

p. If you are interested in signing up for the speed reading class, contact Byler at dmbyle@wm.edu.

Silver screen soiree

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p. In celebration of its 75th anniversary, the Kimball Theatre hosts a film festival to highlight history

p. Having recently celebrated its 75th anniversary in January, the Kimball Theatre plans to commemorate its historic run as the prime cinematic attraction in Merchants Square.

p. Continuing to show art-house flicks and live performances, the theater is famous for showcasing acclaimed international films and distinguished musicians.

p. In February, the Kimball will bring back an array of timeless Hollywood hits that lit up the screens of the past. “When the Movies Come to Town,” will be a four-day film event, commemorating the past 75 years of cinematic history that will revisit history, including screenings of the original black-and-white classic “King Kong” and “The Godfather.” The festival will also feature receptions and a distinguished list of guest speakers to compliment the event.

p. Clay Riley, Kimball’s manager, worked with Tim Bernard and Arthur Knight, professors of the College’s film studies department. “They approached me about doing this feature. Bernard wanted to go over the history of films and expand it into this festival. Tim and Arthur were immeasurably helpful in creating topics within a loose framework, integral to the course,” Riley said.

p. Formerly called the Williamsburg Theatre, the Kimball opened its doors Jan. 12, 1933. “The theater was the only game in town,” Knight said. The theater was associated with the Rockefeller-owned Radio-Keith-Orpheum Theatre Chain, the same company that ran the Radio City Music Hall.

p. The Kimball Theatre boasts a legacy graced by both history and celebrity. In fact, the theater was a refuge for Hollywood industry big shots, including John D. Rockefeller and his wife. Walt Disney also enjoyed leisurely evening screenings, resting on benches outside of the theater and conversing with students of the College who passed by.

p. “A lot of people see the Kimball Theatre as an enduring Williamsburg business,” Riley said. “We’ve been here 75 years. For a long time, it was really the only movie business. Our reputation for quality goes a long way, especially among the community that’s been here a long time.”

p. The theater was also one of the first air-conditioned movie theaters of its time, and introduced wider spaces between rows and an advanced acoustic sound system. “It wasn’t until the late ’60s when another movie theater opened up in town other than drive-ins,” Riley said. “After the arrival of the RC Theatres in Williamsburg Crossing, it was decided that the theater would become an art house for independent productions, essentially taking us out of competition of Hollywood films. That was in the late ’80s.”

p. According to Knight, “This festival is intended to mesh with the film studies program, while providing an educational opportunity and an intensive way to introduce people to new films and ideas. The program will bring back mainstream Hollywood film hits from the past and some art house films. But most importantly, [we can] use the occasion to not just celebrate the theater, but also reflect on the limits of the public space and the progress society has made. Like many other establishments, the Kimball Theatre use to be segregated, sometime between 1955 and 1963. Up into the mid-1950s, there were no African Americans admitted into the theater.”

p. Braum Katz ’10, who is involved in the festival’s planning as a part of an American studies project, described the historical details that the event will highlight. “We are working to re-create the facade of the Kimball Theatre to look just as it did when ‘King Kong’ premiered in 1933. I think this film festival will be an incredible opportunity for students to have a glimpse of Williamsburg history.

p. “This program will enable students to appreciate local history. For film students and American studies students, the program demonstrates the living, breathing form that history can take. History doesn’t have to be about wars and political leaders. Sometimes, the richest history can be found right in a local community,” Katz said.

p. The festival will start from Thursday, Feb. 14 and will run through Sunday, Feb. 17. Although the screenings are free, tickets are required for admission.

p. The selection includes eight full-length feature presentations, shorter-length clips and cartoons, presentations and a host of receptions, including a wine and cheese affair. The movie “Blowup” being screened on the College campus. Popular films that mark the decades of the past being featured are “King Kong,” “Gone With the Wind,” “Roman Holiday,” “The Godfather,” “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” and other blockbuster hits.

Staff Editorial: Keep ’em coming

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The latest Early Decision statistics may signal a change in admissions office strategy. While Early Decision applications grew an anemic 1 percent, the early acceptance rate soared by almost 10 percent. At first glance, it appears the College is losing ground.
Associate Provost for Enrollment Earl Granger suggested something different: accepting more students may help increase general admissions selectivity in April, a figure often cited in college guides.

p. And, whether appropriate or not, that selectivity is assumed to be a measure of prestige. While we would prefer the College eliminate Early Decision completely and move to the more equitable Early Action, we are pleased that the admissions office finally appears to be actively trying to reverse a recent troubling slide in perceived selectivity.

p. The College is making other important strides. A long-overdue website redesign is in the works, and should serve as an attractive introduction to the school to those whose first visit may take place on a 15-inch monitor.

p. But there is much the admissions office still needs to address. The school needs to broaden and increase its applicant pool nationally. This may be achieved through more creative means — by waiving application fees for high-performing students across the country who reach some SAT and GPA threshold, for example. Like many other schools, the College uses the Common Application, and were it free for a select group of gifted high schoolers, carrying the application to the mailbox could be the most painful part of the process.

p. But new websites and application fee subsidies are big tasks compared to other small changes the College could make. The school needs to be more aggressive in sending admissions literature to students who take the SAT in order to spread the College’s name and broaden our geographic recruiting base. Back on campus, when borderline candidates call the admissions office to ask about applying, they should always be encouraged to apply, no matter their qualifications. The student who never applies can never be considered, and more applications can only make for a stronger class.

p. The College ranks among the nation’s premier liberal arts institutions — public and private — but it cannot remain so without bright and ambitious students. It’s up to the admissions staff to make every effort to keep them coming.