Everyone here has dreams and aspirations. My boyfriend wants to be an expatriate intellectual in Brazil; my biology major friend wants to be a soap star. When I was six, I wanted to be an Olympic speed skater, but at seven I decided to aim for the more lucrative field of dermatology. Most recently, in the grand tradition of having unattainable goals, I’ve decided I’d like to be a gay icon.

p. Perhaps this dream isn’t as unattainable as it first appears. If I follow my desired career path and become the next Anna Wintour or Julia Allison, I’d already be on my way. But what is it that really solidifies a woman’s worth in the eyes of mainstream gay America?

p. Let’s look at some icons in detail. Wikipedia has an extensive “gay icon” page and includes the following definition — my new job description:

p. “A gay icon or LGBT icon is an historical figure, celebrity or public figure who is embraced by many in the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) communities. In particular, they are figures perceived to be strong or brave individuals who have wrestled with psychological demons, issues of sexuality, have suffered publicly or met an early tragic end. … Qualities of an LGBT icon usually include a larger-than-life image, inherent glamour and eventual flamboyance, strength through adversity, androgyny or an ambiguous sexuality.”

p. Using this working definition, let’s figure out my short-term plan for reaching my goal.

p. Become attractive: Madonna’s man-arms aside, gay icons are ultra feminine, stylized and as picture-perfect as the Madame Alexander dolls that bear their names. I must master lip liner, eyeliner, false eyelashes and false breasts. Also, corsets.

p. Have talent, attitude: Or just the ability to work it. Cher, Joan Collins, Bette Davis, Marlene Dietrich, Bette Midler, Liza Minnelli, Barbra Streisand and Elizabeth Taylor are all women with a penchant for performing and a wicked stage presence. Perhaps most importantly, they are known to occasionally rock a turban. Luckily, one of these three is easily attainable with a quick trip to Binns.

p. Acquire groupies, problems: The pressures of the road are too much to bear, and sometimes the life of an icon can be rough. If I really commit to this dream, I’ll need a nasty coke habit and a stolen prescription pad. Fragile nerves are key to icon status, and breakdowns are very desirable, though cancer survivor Kylie Minogue disagrees: “Gay icons usually have some tragedy in their lives; but I’ve only had tragic haircuts and outfits.”

p. Kickass funeral: Can caskets have trains? I’d like my casket to wear a dress with pearl beading and lace, and I’d like the train to be longer than Star Jones’s because her train was longer than Princess Di’s and there’s nothing more iconic than outdoing another icon’s outdo-er. Also, I’d like lots of tears, even if they have to be artificially squeezed out of my botoxed friends. I’m an icon goddamn it; make it work.

p. I think I might need a consultant because most of these ideas come from “Dynasty” and are not, in fact, possible in real life. Despite the street cred it would earn me, I don’t particularly want to die an untimely death. Though the prospect of post-mortem licensing is very attractive.

p. If Liza i s indeed correct and life is a cabaret, then maybe each section of my life is a different musical number as defined by my current dream job. If that’s the case, these next few years will be full of razzle-dazzle.

p. __Charlotte Savino is a Confusion Corner columnist. She’s taking applications for a personal assistant.__

The conclusion of the seven-year Campaign for William and Mary last year brought in over half a billion dollars in donations and pledges. At first glance, the College’s seven-year campaign may seem quite small, compared to billion dollar efforts at schools like University of Virginia.

p. “Apples to kumquats,” Sean Pieri, vice president of University Development, said, regarding any comparison to U.Va.’s fundraising drive. “William and Mary has about 70,000 to 80,000 living alumni. U.Va., being a bigger school, has more alumni and more people willing to give. For a school the size of William and Mary, $500 million is a tremendous effort.”

p. As a public institution, the College receives budgetary funds on an annual basis from the commonwealth. However, like most public universities, government funding is not enough.

p. Fundraising at the College has improved over the past ten years. In 1997, the College raised $23 million in actual donations. Over each of the past three years, the College has taken in around $49 million. Last fiscal year, the College set a new school record, receiving $49.3 million in donations. This does not take into account pledges and estate promises, only straight donations and money collected from old pledges.

p. “You can’t really measure successful fundraising if you’re only looking at one year,” Pieri said. “You have to look over a period of time.”

p. Pieri described how the College received nearly as much money from the commonwealth as it had from donations. According to budget documents obtained through the Commonwealth’s website, the College’s general fund contained approximately 49.7 million for the 2007 fiscal year.

p. Notwithstanding the remarkable advancements made in fundraising at the College, comparisons with other schools can be useful in determining what improvements can be made. Wake Forest University in Wiston-Salem, North Carolina, comparable to the College in both size and selectivity, recently completed a $689 million pledge drive, surpassing their expectations by over 15 percent. However, over a third of the funds raised will go to Wake Forest’s medical school, leaving over $400 million for the rest of the campus. According to Tim Snyder, assistant vice president and director of advancement services at Wake Forest, cash-in-hand donations amounted to over $62 million during the last fiscal year.

p. The College’s efforts compare favorably to those at other public universities as well. Miami University in Ohio is $280 million into its $500 million “For Love and Honor” drive. According to Tammy Hatcher, director of university advancement, communications and publications, actual cash-in-hand donations surpassed those at the College this year by approximately $1.6 million, totalling $50.9 million. In another example, a six year drive at the University of Vermont concluded after raising over $275 million. Both universities possess considerably larger student bodies, further emphasizing the degree of success the College has had over the past three years.

p. While the College has outperformed many public schools in its fundraising efforts, it still falls behind other competitive universities. In 2006, “The Stanford Challenge” was launched at Stanford University in Palo Alto, California. According to Stanford’s website, the “Challenge” hopes to raise at least $4.3 billion over the course of the next five years. Money raised in the campaign will contribute to the funding of a variety of programs, including Stanford-sponsored charter schools designed to improve K-12 education in East Palo Alto. As of Aug. 31, Stanford had already raised over $2.9 billion.

p. “It doesn’t make sense for us to do a billion dollar campaign given our size and [the fact that we have] no med school and no engineering school,” Pieri said. “William and Mary is very unique in that it is a relatively small school. A half-billion dollar fundraising campaign is, again, a tremendous effort.”

**1930**
A new infirmary, costing about $75,000 was completed near the Campus Center. The infirmary, run by physician D.J. King, was furnished with modern steel furniture and floors were covered with golden-brown battleship linoleum. The infirmary consisted of three floors and included a kitchen, reception rooms and six sun parlors.

p. **1960**
The Jamestown Tunnel, located in front of Taliaferro Hall was completed as part of the College Development Program. The tunnel, originally created for the purpose of allowing students to safely cross Jamestown Road, was closed indefinitely in 1995 due to a tendency to flood and a lack of electric lighting.

p. **1971**
Williamsburg City Police arrested a College sophomore who had brought drugs to the sophomore class keg party. The student was charged with possession of marijuana and hashish. He was caught when police officers noticed him walking into the party with a bamboo pipe.

p. **1981**
Millington Hall and Morton Hall were closed as the College worked to remove harmful asbestos from both buildings. The College called on one of the nation’s leading asbestos experts, Dr. Robert N. Sawyer from Yale University, to oversee the removal project.

The College’s Board of Visitors will meet this Thursday and Friday to discuss issues concerning the College. The meetings, which will take place in Blow Memorial Hall, will begin Thursday at 8:15 a.m. and conclude by 5:45 p.m. Friday’s meetings will begin at 8:30 a.m. and will conclude by 1:00 p.m. All meetings, which will take place in the third floor Boardroom, are open to the public. However, public comment will not be allowed.

The Tioga Motel, a 25-room motel on Richmond Road, will be demolished in the near future, according to the Daily Press. All outstanding reservations will be canceled by Rocksburg Investments, the Tioga’s current owners, and the motel will formally close by Oct. 15.

p. The Tioga was one of Virginia’s first motels. It is infamous for being the base of a cocaine ring last year and is also frequented by homeless people. The city of Williamsburg is buying the motel with plans to demolish the existing structure and resell the property. The demolition is part of the city’s plan to improve the aesthetic appeal of Richmond Road.

**Monday, Sept. 17 –** A black female was arrested for disturbing the peace on the 400 block of Boundary Street. She was also charged with being drunk in public. **(1)**

p. **Tuesday, Sept. 18 –** A white male was arrested for disturbing the peace on the 1300 block of Richmond Road. He was also charged with driving under the influence, refusing to submit to a alcohol test and driving without a valid license. **(2)**

p. **Thursday, Sept. 20 –** A black male was arrested for driving with a suspended license for the second time and having improper tags on his vehicle. He was arrested on Route 132. **(3)**

p. – A white male was arrested on the 1300 block of Jamestown Road for driving under the influence. **(4)**

p. – A white male was arrested on the 800 block of Capitol Landing Road for diving with a suspended license. The individual had caused an accident involving three cars. **(5)**

p. **Friday, Sept. 21 –** A white male College student was arrested on the 300 block of Richmond Road for being drunk in public and underage possession of alcohol. **(6)**

p. – A white male was arrested on the 300 block of 2nd street for being intoxicated. **(7)**

p. **Saturday, Sept. 22 –** A white female was arrested on the intersection of Garrison Avenue and Mt. Vernon Avenue for driving with a suspended license for the fifth time. **(8)**

p. – A black male was arrested on the 3000 block of Richmond Road for driving with a suspended license. **(9)**

p. **Sunday, Sept. 23 –** Two black males and a black female were arrested for driving under the influence and possession of cocaine on the intersection of Longhill Connector Road and Ironbound Road. One male, the driver of the car, was also charged with evading police and three traffic violations. The other male was charged with possession of a concealed weapon. **(10)**

p. – A black female was arrested for driving with a suspended license on the intersection of Ernestine and Ironbound Road. **(11)**

**43 percent**
The proportion of College dorm rooms without air conditioning.

p. **9**
The number of cell phone towers within three miles of the College. Eight of these are along Ironbound Road.

p. **3.04 billion**
The pounds of coffee imported by the United States in 2005, amounting to 25 percent of the world’s production. In the same year, just 294 million pounds of tea were imported.

p. **4 percent**
The proportion of pre-schoolers who suffer from clinical depression.

p. **113**
The number of pirate attacks in the world since January, nine of which occured in the Western hemisphere. There have also been an additional 41 attempted attacks. The Arabian Sea had the most attempted but failed attacks, at 27.

A breakthrough discovery has been made in the field of conservation biology. Japanese researchers at the Tokyo University of Marine Science and Technology have discovered a way to create fertile trout from salmon.

p. In this method, dubbed “surrogate broodstocking,” researchers inject sterile salmon with spermatagonia, and these cells develop into sperm and eggs, which are used to create wild rainbow trout.
Once the spermatagonia are injected, they migrate toward the fish ovaries or testes and mature into eggs or sperm.

p. It was determined that once the salmon were mature, 10 out of 29 salmon produced milt, which is trout sperm.

p. DNA tests confirmed that the offspring of the salmon were in fact pure trout that were capable of reproduction.

p. University of Tokyo marine bioscientist Goro Yoshizaki started this research with “salmonids,” a family that includes both salmon and trout. He would transfer the sperm into normal fish (non-sterile fish), but this returned hybrids of the two fish that had a high mortality rate.

p. The main interest in this discovery in Japan is its application to conserving bluefin tuna stocks. Earlier tuna conservation efforts, including marine ranching, were too difficult to be commercially viable.

p. It may be possible to produce tuna from mackerel, which would be much more cost and space effective. A mackerel’s body size is around 500 to 1,000 grams, which is close to 1,000 times smaller than a tuna’s body size, making it much easier to culture and grow.

p. Earlier efforts to preserve endangered fish have proven lofty. Such methods include freezing fertilized eggs, which is impossible because of the size and fat content of fish eggs.

p. In a project headed up by zoology professor Joseph Cloud and funded by the U.S. government, the University of Idaho is now trying to assess the viability of this technology for culturing endangered fish stocks.

p. Scientists at Idaho will use trout, a species more plentiful than salmon, to produce the endangered sockeye salmon.

p. Many scientists, like John Wadman, a fisheries biologist at Queen’s College, feel that this type of fish rearing can be highly beneficial to bolstering the world’s fisheries’ stocks.

p. “Future work should look to expand this approach to other fishes in need of conservation, in particular, the sturgeons and paddlefish. We have a lot of species of fish around the world that are really in danger of becoming extinct,” Wadman said in an interview with the Associated Press.

p. Results similar to those obtained in the salmon-trout study were also found when injecting trout spermatagonia into other fish species like brown trout and Japanese char.

p. This implies that there may be a wide range of fish that can be created from other fish, which is a monumental discovery for restoration efforts.

p. Efforts like those at the University of Tokyo and the University of Idaho demonstrate the growing importance of alternative methods of conservation.

p. While limits on harvesting will still be imposed in an effort to minimize overharvesting, research into alternative ways of repleting fish stocks is an important step in restocking the Earth’s waters.