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From geek to Greek: getting a great guy

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I know many women on campus who are trying to find a steady relationship. They’ve been through the random hook-ups, have had their share of guilt-free fun and just want to find a nice college guy. I’m here to tell you that’s impossible. Well, maybe not impossible, but you will have to be willing to deal with one of the six types of guys who attend the College. Each group has its set of pros and cons. If you can reconcile your standards with those issues and let your intended man know you’re available, you may have a shot.

p. Geek. I’m starting out with the most obvious guy-type. We are all geeks on some level at the College. I have met guys at both ends of the geek spectrum. If it seems like your intended beau is in the library for more hours than he sleeps, you might be able to help him escape. Ask him if he’d like to study with you outside in the Sunken Garden, and then when you’re at a stopping point you could play some frisbee. I’ve found that the stereotypical geek has never had a ton of attention from a girl, so sometimes showing a little interest is all you need to find a great guy.

p. Greek. Fraternity boys everywhere tend to get a bad reputation because people just associate them with movies like “Animal House” and think that all they want to do is take advantage of women by getting them drunk. You should be careful at any party, regardless of who is hosting it, but fraternity parties can be amazingly fun. Everyone probably attended at least one freshman year. Contrary to popular belief, a lot of fraternity guys aren’t just looking for quick sex. Many they are the type who offer to walk you home after a long night. The downside to these men is that the fraternity is like their family at times. So if you go out with a frat boy, watch out for the break-up backlash. You may find random guys openly discussing your sex life — ouch.

p. God. Depending on the type of person you are, this may be a huge positive to you. I don’t want guys to think girls hate men who believe in God. I find it a huge turn-on when a guy is strong enough to stand up for his faith. But the problem that many women have with Christian guys is when their religious views are so strict that a relationship becomes impossible. There are both ends of the prude spectrum. Some would never have sex before marriage; others are unwilling to let a girl sit with them in their room. That’s a true story. If you’ve got it really bad for a guy who is rigidly Christian, I think the only option is to let him know that you would match his moral code. Maybe things will change once you start going out, maybe they won’t. It’s your responsibility not to pressure him, but be ready for some extreme sexual frustration.

p. Gamer. Trying to get a gamer to cut down is like taking the bottle away from an alcoholic. Unless you’re a girl who is really into video games, you’re going to feel tossed aside. There will be many nights of sitting and watching him play video games with his friends, hoping that after this mission he’ll put down the controller and kick everyone out. I have only successfully pried a guy away from a video game once, and I had to resort to some extreme measures that you might not want to try with his friends watching. The best way to deal with this situation once you’re involved is to explain to him that you won’t sit around when he’s playing games. If he wants to see any parts of you, he needs to turn off the screen and drop the headset. It’s a coin toss as to which he’ll choose, but I never said it would be easy.

p. Girlfriend. I would not suggest getting into a situation in which you are coming between a girl and her guy. That’s like stepping between a momma bear and a cub, and you may find yourself in the middle of a bitch fight. But if you’ve gotten the sense from him that he’s unhappy with his controlling, emotional girlfriend, it might be okay to just let him know that a less psycho girl could make him happier. On the pro side, you know he can handle a relationship. Con: if he left her for you, who’s to say it can’t happen again?

p. Gay. Damn it.

p. __Emily Powell is the Flat Hat sex columnist. She has invented various ways of pulling guys away from their games.__

Horoscopes (Sept. 7)

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Scorpio: Oct. 23 – Nov. 21

If you think the recent state budget cut is detrimental to your education, fear not. You go to school in Virginia anyway.

Taurus: April 20 – May 20

It’s great that you drafted Rex Grossman as your fantasy football quarterback. Too bad interceptions and negative quarterback ratings aren’t statistics.

Sagittarius: Nov. 22 – Dec. 21

We know that break-ups can be frustrating, but rock-starring your ex-girlfriend’s room is taking it a little too far.

Gemini: May 21- June 21

Contrary to popular belief, those sounds you hear aren’t coming from the “Mean Girls” convention — it’s just sorority rush.

Capricorn: Dec. 22 – Jan. 19

Good news this week! The Student Health Center is starting a new suicide hotline just for all you die hard Redskins fans.

Cancer: June 22 – July 22

Listen to your RAs and the Student Affairs office: One drink per hour is a great way to accomplish absolutely nothing.

Aquarius: Jan. 20 – Feb. 18

Reading The Flat Hat’s sex column aloud to your girlfriend is a great relationship builder. The random girl at the party might get kind of scared.

Leo: July 23 – Aug. 22

Seriously, stop reading these stupid horoscopes and go to class. Your professor is concerned about your whereabouts.

Pisces: Feb. 19 – March 20

Your history class has taught you that the Gestapo and SS have been disbanded, but Campus Police begs to differ.

Virgo: Aug. 23 – Sept. 22

You may find that your roommate becomes upset with you this week — not because you sexile him, but because you urinate on everything in sight.

Aries: March 21 – April 19

Speaking of the SS, now that every fraternity has been busted, your badminton club should consider going underground.

Libra: Sept. 23 – Oct. 22

Your three-hour human drawing class seemed pretty cool, until your boyfriend signed up as a nude model for the art department.

Five best TV shows you don’t know about

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Sure, “Lost” and “Grey’s Anatomy” are popular shows, but what about the TV no one watches? These shows are ones you probably haven’t seen, or even heard of. Nevertheless, they are true gems that gleam off the beaten path, and they deserve a chance.

p. **“History Detectives”**
One of the most interesting shows on PBS, “History Detectives” involves real-life researchers, mostly appraisers and academics, who answer questions about various items of unknown historical importance. Usually, the cases involve family heirlooms that, according to legend, once belonged to historical figures. The researcher meets with the person, gathers any information they have about the item, and then performs research and interviews historians familiar with the subject for more clues. Some of the items that research determined were authentic include a $250,000 cast-iron eagle that once adorned Grand Central Station and an early-1800s handwritten list of public education donations, including $200 from then-President Thomas Jefferson (which bankrupted him). Some items that research couldn’t prove (although didn’t disprove either) to be authentic include a flag thought to have draped President William McKinley’s casket and a possible piece of a Civil War air balloon used for reconnaissance against the South. The show is an interesting look at our nation’s heritage. “History Detectives” airs locally on WCVE Mondays at 9 p.m.

p. **“My Boys”**

In an age when almost every sitcom is formulaic and plagued by canned laughter, TBS’s “My Boys” is refreshingly original and comedic. The show focuses on Chicago sportswriter P.J. Franklin (Jordana Spiro) and her group of friends — most of whom are men. In many respects, P.J. is rather masculine; she plays poker and hangs out in bars with her boys, is somewhat blunt with the men she dates and, as the narrator of the show, likens events in her social life to sports metaphors. Included in her group is her older brother Andy (comedian Jim Gaffigan), who is married and lives in the suburbs but always joins the group for poker; Brendan (Reid Scott), a radio DJ who often has to crash at P.J.’s after fighting with his girlfriend; Mike (Jamie Kaler), a commitment-phobic ladies’ man; Kenny (Norfolk native Michael Bunin), an awkward sports store owner; and Bobby (Kyle Howard), a rival sportswriter and P.J.’s past love interest. P.J.’s only real female friend is Stephanie (Kellee Stewart), whom she met in college. Stephanie often advises her to act more femininely to attract men. The entire cast has real chemistry, lending the series a very real feel. Gone are the stupid quips that plagued “Friends;” instead, the characters realistically banter with and tease each other. This Tuesday, the last two episodes of the season will air back-to-back at 10 p.m. on TBS.

p. **“Feasting on Asphalt”**
Food Network regular Alton Brown (“Good Eats,” “Iron Chef America”) hits the back roads of America in the second season of his travelogue show, “Feasting on Asphalt.” This season, titled “The River Run,” shows Brown and his crew exploring Mississippi River routes on motorcycles and stopping what seems like nine times a day to eat local cuisine and to interview the proprietors. By not traveling on major interstates and avoiding chain restaurants, Brown makes backcountry America seem savory and delicious. The delight of the show is that Brown’s knowledge, attention to detail and offbeat humor are really a part of his personality and not just of his quirky TV self. He is especially great at narrating the history of a particular region or extolling the virtues of cooking methods developed nearby while riding a motorcycle. It’s fascinating to see the various reactions of locals; after all, even Brown himself doesn’t know where he’ll be stopping. Some restaurant owners let him try his hand at serving their food; others won’t even let him past the counter; and, occasionally, he’s mobbed by Food Network groupies. Hopefully we’ll be treated to another on-camera car crash; last season Brown injured his clavicle. The final episode of the season, in which Brown completes the journey with a stop in Minnesota, airs tomorrow at 9 p.m.

p. **“Eureka”**

This sci-fi, comedy-drama seems a little too good to be true at first; you keep expecting the disaster-of-the-week bit to get old. Fortunately, the writers and cast are able to keep “Eureka” fresh and interesting. The show features a town called Eureka somewhere in the Pacific Northwest. This town is unique because everyone who lives there is a genius — it was created by Dwight D. Eisenhower after World War II to keep America ahead of its rivals with regard to scientific developments. To this end, all of the nation’s most intelligent people from every branch of science, ranging from military science to cryogenics to lepidopterology (the study of butterflies) work and live in Eureka, leading to massive technological development, but also to dangerous mishaps. The really interesting part is that every last townsperson is smart — even the local farmer raises cloned chicken meat instead of living fowl. Colin Ferguson plays Sheriff Jack Carter, who is assigned to Eureka after stumbling upon the town and helping solve a case. Carter has average intelligence, but often provides a necessary real-world perspective to the scientists. Carter lives in a smart house with his daughter Zoe (Jordan Hinson), who scored genius-level in an IQ test but didn’t tell her father. Also in the cast are Salli Richardson-Whitfield, Joe Morton and Ed Quinn, all of whom play brilliant scientists, and Erica Cerra, who plays Carter’s ex-Marine deputy. “Eureka” is the perfect mix of breezy fun, sci-fi thrill and excellent performances. New episodes will air Tuesdays at 9 p.m. until the end of the season in October.

p. **“Psych”**
This comedy-mystery series focuses on Shawn Spencer (James Roday), the son of a former policeman. Shawn possesses heightened observational skills and has a knack for investigation, enabling him to solve mysteries with ease. The show is called “Psych” because, after viewing a news report on a crime, Shawn phones in a tip to the police, making them suspicious that he is involved in the crime. He manages to convince them that he is psychic in order to avoid prosecution and is forced to keep up the act as the police constantly employ him as a case consultant. He starts a psychic detective agency called Psych and hires his lifelong best friend, Gus (Dulé Hill, “The West Wing”), the Dr. Watson to Shawn’s Sherlock Holmes. Gus also works as a pharmaceutical representative, which Shawn loves to tease him about. The rest of the cast, mostly members of the police force, are forgettable, but Roday and Hill carry the series themselves as they humorously investigate crimes. Gus is usually the calmer, more level-headed of the double act; Shawn, on the other hand, spends much of his time hitting on a cute female detective and making witty pop culture references. Several more episodes will air on USA Fridays at 10 p.m., and the second half of this season will air in 2008.

‘Diaries’ beats male litmus test

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Okay, I’ll admit it; I’m the kind of guy who, when forced by his girlfriend to go to a chick flick, whines, moans and puts up any and all forms of resistance. The truth is, secretly, deep down, I end up enjoying chick flicks just as much as she does. “The Nanny Diaries” is no exception. Having seen all the tell-tale signs of a chick flick in the trailer — a pretty girl, a good-looking guy, hints of a love story and, among other things, the words “Nanny” and “Diaries” in the title — I was hesitant at first. However, as with other films in the genre, I came out of the theater with a bit of a smile on my face and without any regret of having spent my precious cash on the trip to the movies.

p. “The Nanny Diaries” is based on the 2002 novel by Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus. It follows the story of recent college graduate Annie, played by Scarlett Johansson (“Lost In Translation”), who, while trying to figure out what to do with a degree in anthropology, is thrust into a babysitting job for a wealthy New York family. Throughout the film, Annie tries to overcome the various challenges that come from being a first-time nanny; having to care for a child who comes from a much higher social class than she does makes it all the more interesting. Annie also meets Harvard Hottie, the code name she gives to her love interest, played by Chris Evans (“Fantastic Four”), with whom she has a number of embarrassing exchanges. The humor of the film plays out in these scenes of stressful struggle and awkward interactions, but the heart of the movie is really in the moments that give the film a much more serious undertone.

p. Annie is forced to start a life of her own after college — getting out from under the protective shield that parents and student life holds up. She is put into a situation where she has to come to grips with reality, forced to live real life when she sees instances of infidelity, spousal and child mistreatment and, fittingly, lying, cheating and stealing. The abstract, dream-sequence style of direction in certain scenes brings out Annie’s realization that there is life after school, and that the most important lesson therein can merely be knowing oneself.

p. Of course, no matter how deep the underlying message, “The Nanny Diaries” is still a chick flick. The movie follows the genre’s stock plot line: A girl who is set on empowering herself through one means strays from her original intentions. She meets a guy. She somehow becomes self-absorbed, which her friends, family and new man let her know. By the end, she becomes empowered anyway, through self-discovery and making and fixing mistakes. Oh, and did I mention, before she does all this, she performs the requisite move of standing up in a convertible and singing as loud as she can while driving through the streets of New York City?

p. Formulaic though it may be, the cast is what brought the movie to a higher level than the usual chick-flick fare. Johansson does a great job as the film’s main character, but Laura Linney (“Kinsey”) and Paul Giamatti (“Lady in the Water”) make very believable parents. Linney and Giamatti give such wonderful performances that the characters are hated the minute they’re seen onscreen, as they should be. Alicia Keys is surprisingly good as Annie’s best friend Lynette, and thankfully Evans, who is often found lacking, does a good enough job in the short amount of screen time he actually has.

p. Overall, it’s a great chick flick, and not a bad movie. Yes, quite a bit of the story is predictable, but it’s cute, it has a happy ending, and guys, if your girlfriend wants to drag you to this, don’t whine too much, it’s not that bad (plus it has Scarlett Johansson, come on).

Muscarelle exhibits transfix, reveal

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Strolling through the Muscarelle’s much-anticipated exhibition of our nation’s foremost landscape photographer, one can easily recognize Clyde Butcher’s undeniable photographic talent. Numerous works by the so-called “contemporary Ansel Adams” exhibit America’s natural beauty with vast detail, stark contrast and sheer size. Less noticeable, but just as striking, are the emotions hidden deep within the wooded scenes of the large black and white photographs that consume the vibrant walls of “America the Beautiful: The Monumental Landscapes.”

p. In his formal artist statement, Butcher confesses, “Wilderness, to me, is a spiritual necessity. When my son was killed by a drunk driver, it was to the wilderness that I fled in hopes of regaining my serenity and equilibrium.” Rushing water, illuminated woodland, rolling clouds and arid deserts represent the heartache and suffering Butcher and his family endured. From Yosemite and Death Valley to his home state of Florida, Butcher has now devoted his gift to preserving what he shoots.

p. In 2000, Butcher was the recipient of the coveted Ansel Adams Conservation Award, recognizing him as the photographer who best used his abilities to further conservation efforts. This photography aficionado puts his talent to use by depicting some of America’s most amazing locations. Butcher works to further the goals of such projects as Visions for the Next Millennium, Message to Teachers and the Melaleuca Project, all of which focus on making sure the planet is as beautiful in the future as it is today.

p. The breadth of work exhibited in the College’s gallery is truly monumental. Upon entering the Muscarelle, you are greeted by “Loxahatchee Wildlife Refuge,” an eight-by-four-and-a-half-foot congregation of water lilies and swamp grass containing such transfixing detail and contrast that your body refuses to move and your eyes decline to wander. The other snap shots range from rolling rivers to colossal overgrowth, and all showcase Butcher’s uncanny ability to fit massive amounts of America into the black frames and white mats of the photographic world.

p. Along with Butcher’s amazing portfolio of prints, the Muscarelle is offering an exhibit outlining the development of the College’s academic campus. “Building the College: The Colonial Revival Campus at the College of William and Mary” shines with weathered photographs, lifelike models and original blueprints of the campus, along with portraits of instrumental people who influenced the College throughout its history. The worn edges of the images showcasing the College’s architectural heritage are bold and straightforward, revealing its decisive expansions.

p. There is a display of recognizable color photographs that take what students see every day while traveling around campus and convert them into extraordinary representations of academic life and colonial tradition. Of the small collection of prints, the most moving are the vibrant shots of the Wren Building, which illustrate the artist’s skill and artistry.

p. Butcher will give a lecture on tomorrow at 2 p.m., marking the opening of both shows. Butcher’s exhibition runs through Dec. 2, while the campus exhibition runs through Nov. 4.

Coming Attractions: Sept. 7

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**The Go! Team — “Proof of Youth”** (Sub Pop)
The Go! Team’s sophomore record, “Proof of Youth,” is perfect bubblegum pop with an off-the-scale anti-production method. Contributors include Chuck D, the Double Dutch Divas and Solex. The band has the ability to remind you of the Jackson 5, Sonic Youth and Public Enemy in a single song.
Sept. 11

**Hot Hot Heat — “Happiness Ltd.”** (Sire/Warner Music)
Singer Steven Bays’ breakup with his long-time girlfriend is an obvious influence on Canadian rock group Hot Hot Heat’s fifth album. In a departure from the band’s prior new-wave stomp, the album kicks off with a sappy ballad about the eternity of misery. Fortunately, the band soon returns to its disco-rock sound.
Sept. 11

**“3:10 to Yuma”** (Lions Gate Entertainment)
It’s late 1800s Arizona, and drought-plagued farmer Dan Evans (Christian Bale) volunteers to deliver infamous gang boss Ben Wade (Russell Crowe) to a train taking him to trial. While being chased by Wade’s gang, the two gain a mutual respect despite their different backgrounds.
Sept. 7

**“Tell Me You Love Me”** (HBO)
Premiering this Sunday, HBO’s new show “Tell Me You Love Me” follows four couples of various ages in relationship therapy. It also features lots and lots of graphic, raunchy sex, done with sadly realistic prosthetics. The experienced cast includes Ally Walker, Adam Scott and Broadway alum Jane Alexander.
Sept. 9

**“Pontoon: A Novel of Lake Wobegon”**
By Garrison Keillor (Viking Adult)
Keillor’s new novel is about the fictional Minnesota town so familiar to “Prairie Home Companion” fans. “Pontoon” spins a tale of romance and adventure revealed after death, with plenty of Keillor’s homegrown wit.
Sept. 11

Addictive Hollywood socialite lifestyle proves a slippery slope

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Ah, Hollywood — the coveted world of stardom filled with illustrious lights and excessive amounts of money and fame. Jay-Z calls it “the most addicting drug in the world,” and many celebrities are inhaling as much of it as they can. But it seems as though today they’re starting to feel the effects of this intoxicating drug — and the consequences are tremendous.

p. Celebrities are drunk on daytime television, fighting with other celebrities over Scientology and still finding time to party and procreate, all while sniffing some pure white — creating your typical, soap-opera/reality TV show complete with heightened drama.

p. For some time now, Hollywood has taken over facets of American culture and society, perpetuating stereotypes and flashing lavish, unattainable objects in the homes of the American people. It changes kid stars into lying drug-addicts, pop princesses into irresponsible mothers (you know who I’m talking about) and comedians into suicidal, globe-trekking fugitives, running away to find clarity (a la Owen Wilson and Dave Chappelle).

p. With aid from the media, Hollywood triggers the production of plastic faces and Barbie-sized images for many young women, leading to problems of self-esteem and other insecurities. Nicole Richie is so skinny she could be used as one of those poles for vaulting in the Olympic Games. There are a few exceptions to this artificial system, with the likes of Queen Latifah and Catherine Zeta-Jones, who focus less on body image and paparazzi flashes and more on doing their job and creating positive images for themselves and young people who aspire to be them. This, however, is not the norm.

p. One can see the cracks and imperfections of this once-perfect system. Blinding fame can mislead and cause one to become unrecognizable to others. When I see Lindsay Lohan or James Brown’s mug shots plastered on TV, they look dumbfounded — as if they were unaware that injuries would ensue from their entertaining debacles.

p. Don’t get me wrong, the degredation of society is not entirely the fault of Hollywood —people are not infallible, and once you sign your name on the dotted line, you are automatically a product waiting to be sold to the masses. Celerities must take the responsibility and the hard blows that come with it. The problem lies in the fact that most celebrities would rather hide behind Louis Vuitton shades, expensive couture and globs of make-up while becoming overpowered by the deceptive silver screen.

p. But while Hollywood might cushion its celebrities’ falls with a hefty number of “get out of jail free” cards and exclusive interviews with Oprah, it won’t be holding their hands when they rush to rehab facilities, take five-day breaks to “rejuvenate” themselves from fatigue or when their spouse leaves them for another celebrity. It just rears its ugly head and takes a few snapshots of their slow-motion wrecks.

p. I pity celebrities in a way, but then I remember that they make millions of dollars a year and then lash out at the system. Instead of sorrow for them I will simply leave a suggestion for the young celebrities who flash their veneers and their aesthetically pleasing bodies: Hollywood is not for the faint of heart, so proceed at your own risk.

p. __Genice Phillips is a junior at the College. While she is disgusted by much of today’s socialite scum, she — like all of us — finds secret pleasure in reading Hollywood Gossip.__

Staff Editorial: Tough budget choices

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Eighteen months removed from Governor Tim Kaine’s 2006 Charter Day address, in which the newly elected governor called education “the single most important domestic public priority” for the state of Virginia, the College has been informed that it must cut the state portion of its budget by 7.5 percent. This $3.64 million decrease is incredibly disappointing news for the College, which is already stretched dangerously thin on faculty salaries and academic departmental expenditures.

p. Kaine, who once wondered “why state funding for [Virginia] colleges and universities ranked so low,” may have answered his own question. The brunt of the burden has fallen on the shoulders of Virginia’s top three public institutions of higher learning — the College, Virginia Tech and the University of Virginia.

p. Now the College must quickly decide how to cut its budget to meet Richmond’s demands. Proposals have included sweeping cuts to the various colleges, including the Mason School of Business, College of Arts and Sciences and the Marshall-Wythe School of Law, as well as a tuition surcharge which would tack on an additional $500 per student for the spring semester. Other possibilities include cutting salaries for the president, provost and other administrative officials, and cutting budgets to auxiliary services, such as parking, IT and meal plans.

p. It is imperative that faculty salaries and funding for the various colleges remain untouched. The College already suffers from a low faculty retention rate, and further cuts in this area would be detrimental to students and faculty, as well as to the College’s reputation as a top-tier university.

p. Recent tuition increases make the possible surcharge extremely unappealing, but, in this case, a slight raise in tuition seems to be inevitable. We recognize that for some students, additional hundreds of dollars in tuition may make the prospect of attending the College difficult, but the changes would only be temporary and the College could counter these changes by stepping up efforts on financial aid. Salary cuts for College President Gene Nichol and Provost Geoffrey Feiss are also pragmatic temporary solutions, and we hope that they are welcomed by each for the sake of students.

p. While this news seems grim — and the solutions do not appear to be much better — there are several valuable lessons that the College can learn from this situation. The vast majority of the College’s funding is still the result of private donations, returns from the endowment fund and other non-state sources. Overall funding from the state as a percentage of the College’s total budget has been slowly decreasing in recent years, and these ongoing trends should inspire Nichol and others to intensify fundraising efforts. This will assure that the College can counter future budget cuts, and would also provide essential financial aid resources for students who could not afford a temporary tuition increase.

p. Nichol’s recent efforts to make the College more accessible to low-income students may be jeopardized by these budget cuts. The lack of state funding could also make the College less attractive to prospective students, thus it becomes even more necessary that the College seek other sources of funding. It would be wise for the College to rely less on Richmond, particularly in light of the recent budget cuts.

p. Kaine finds himself in a very tough position. By state law, Virginia cannot run a budget deficit, so it is understandable that Richmond must cut state funding across the board. But it is the reprehensible idea of cutting education — the public education that Kaine supposedly held so dear in 2006 — that is most disturbing. No solution will be easy, and no answer that involves making education less affordable should be permanent, but the College community must face whatever changes the administration enacts with courage and conviction.

Juniors journey abroad

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Summer is officially dead. It died a few afternoons ago with the first serious class discussion, the first visit to Swem, the first completed written assignment. Already the air is colder and the leaves have turned color. Already my right eye twitches from sleep deprivation, and with an eclectic scholastic selection as eccentric as mine, I only wonder how fast a schedule so packed as this semester’s will fly.

p. A true junior year should be measured by its workload. There is much heavy “mind” lifting to be done. You buckle down and “get serious” about what it is you want to do with your life. Discussions involving words like “thesis,” “honors” and “bibliography” are held with advisors. Premature preparations are made for potential GREs, LSATs, MCATs and the like. For a year, you push yourself a little over the academic edge, not knowing whether to laugh, gag or shit yourself because of the workload being shoved down your throat.

p. The hope is that, by your final year, you’ve secured some sort of internship or post-graduation plan in which you do little more than bask in a state of drunken idleness — inviting yourself to a year of pass/fails, day-time and night-time television and pottery and self-defense classes. The last thing you want your last year to be is an improvisation — struggling to savor those last golden moments with friends, hastily fulfilling major requirements, pulling strings to perform miracles, straggling behind for a supersemester or two.

p. But wait! There’s a loophole! As much as junior year is a time for work, it has within it much untapped potential for fun.
The fall may be here already, but maybe summer isn’t dead after all. Perhaps summer went abroad. Yes, summer is in China, summer is at Oxford, summer is at the summit of Dubai’s ski slope.

p. More and more, juniors are spending a semester abroad in a domino-effect frenzy. It’s more or less perfect — you basically get the semester off, discovering life in another country, blending culture, coursework and learning with a new people, their foods and their drinks. I have yet to hear a student complain about his or her experiences overseas. I also have yet to hear of any student who had a heavy enough workload about which to complain.

p. Students are now flying off in droves — successive, conformity-fixated flocks. Some switch majors just to join their friends in Beijing, or compromise their futures for a semester in Rome. And I say, “Yes! Why the hell not?” I encourage this reckless abroad-bound abandon for all juniors who can afford a semester of such tremendous ease and comfort. Not only will you thoroughly enjoy the fresh change of scenery, you’ll even appreciate the minimal amount of schoolwork you’ll be given. It will prevent you from having that restless, not-quite boredom feeling you grew so accustomed to this summer.

p. And when you get back, you’ll have that final year, that senior year, to accomplish absolutely nothing. You’ll have made enough connections in Paris or Oxford to render work unnecessary. Looking back on this summer, and at the fall ahead of me, I encourage you to run abroad while you still can.

p. __Sherif Abdelkarim is a junior at the College.__