This fall marks the first time in 21 years that my parents have had an empty nest. Now, I’m not sure how much they miss me anymore — as I’m a senior, they’re used to my absence — but I know they miss my kid brother, Josh. We made the five-hour drive to Radford a week ago, moved him in and left. No ceremony, no lengthy goodbyes, just a few hard hugs, some words of wisdom and a wave. As we headed home in silence, I realized that there was so much I wanted to say to him on his first day as a college student.

p. Looking back, I can remember how it felt: a slithering mixture of excitement, nervousness, anticipation and the terrible urge to be sick. So many strangers (one of whom I had to live with), so many new rules and freedoms. A huge wide world in which I could either grow or drown, and classes where the professors were going to challenge me. I was leaving the comfort of a supportive family.

p. It was terrifying. Liberating. It made me feel so small, but so lucky. What would I do with the next four years? Would I be successful? Would I have fun, have friends? Would I get lost on the first day of classes? Would I like the cafeteria food?
Josh probably felt and thought many of the same things that day. He was a little pale, a little quiet. He looked small and alone as we pulled out of the parking lot beside his dorm.

p. I could have told him not to worry. That the fun and friends would come so easily, and would have so many rewards. That getting lost on the first day of classes happens, and it’s no real tragedy. That yeah, cafeteria food sucks. Not much anyone can do about that. That as long as he pays attention, as long as he finds what he loves and studies it, school will be both challenging and wonderfully enlightening. That the next four years of his life will be, without a doubt, some of the best he will ever have; very few things will ever come close.

p. I could have told him that, as a senior, I see things differently. I’m looking back on my freshman year and yearning to be there again. I’m not saying that being a senior doesn’t have its charms. But freshman year is special. Bonds of friendship are made, there are adventures and discoveries to be had, horizons to be widened. In my freshman year alone, I discovered that I love Korean food and Bollywood movies, and that the time I spend with my friends is just as precious and important as the time I spend learning. I didn’t know then how much I had to look forward to, how many great things were to come.

p. So a little advice from a seasoned senior to all of you who, like my brother, are entering the hallowed halls of higher education for the first time this fall: don’t be nervous — take hold of this year with both hands, hold tight. There’s so much you can do with it.
To all my fellow seniors: remember the first year in the midst of your last. Remember how it really was pretty much perfect.

p. __Ashley Baird is a senior at the College.__

Welcome to Williamsburg in August. It’s hot. It’s muggy. You likely don’t have central air conditioning. And you thought college would be paradise away from home.

p. The truth is, it will. But I hate to be the one to tell you it likely won’t start out that way. You’ve been thrust into a very new situation, and over the next few days, you’ll be feeling out your new hallmates, participating in mixers with people whose names you won’t remember and learning all over again that underage drinking is bad.

p. By now you’ll have met those chipper upperclassmen in the bright yellow T-shirts commonly referred to as Orientation Aides. Get to know them, as they will likely be the first friends you make outside your hall. And don’t worry if you can’t remember the name of that kid you “met” playing Train Wreck or at CU at the UC. No one actually enjoys those activities during orientation, and it is my sneaking suspicion that they are really an attempt to facillitate bonding within your own hall as you commiserate about how stupid they are.

p. The key to making the most of your orientation experience is to open yourself up to meeting new people. It’s probably been at least four years since you encountered so many new faces, so don’t shut yourself off. Keep your dorm room door open to encourage visitors and take a stroll to the water fountain to see who is hanging around.

p. The point is to get to know the people on your hall, because they will create a base group of friends that will help make the transition to college significantly easier. Most people find themselves staying close with a good number of people from their freshman halls throughout their time at the College.

p. Conversely, as important as it is to become friendly with your new neighbors, it’s also good to avoid awkward situations. Of course, you’ll have to come to terms with the fact that you are unlikely to make it through a full semester, let alone the year, without embarrassing yourself. You’re bound to accidentally see a roommate naked, stumble in on a compromising situation or slip on some wet bricks in front of countless classmates — consider that a warning, by the way. But what you can try to avoid is alienating people on your hall. Disagreements are bound to happen, but don’t let them escalate to the point that you are going down the back stairs to avoid running into a certain person.

p. Also, avoid hallcest. If you are unfamiliar, hallcest is a dorm phenomenon that occurs when two hallmates hook up, usually in an altered state of awareness (and haven’t you learned that underage drinking is bad?). These temporary hook-ups are tempting given the proximity of the partner and the fact that you probably already know the person. But these encounters are hard to live down when they don’t work out. Plus, they make things awkward for both the people directly involved as well as with others on the hall.

p. I promise that the Orientation period will pass, and that you will come to feel less like a tourist and more like a student at the College. You will make friends and college life will be everything it is made out to be. But until that time, keep this information in mind:

p. 1. Chanello’s Pizza is open until 3 a.m.
2. Wawa is always a good decision.
3. Be careful with the orientation adjective game. Embarrassing adjectives have a tendency to stick.

p. __Chase Johnson is a senior at the College.__

Welcome Class of 2011. You are going to learn a great many things this week. You will sit through orientation sessions. You will attend your very first college classes. But there is one thing that will not be covered in any orientation meetings or listed on any course syllabi, despite its being so constant and pervasive here that it seems to thicken the very air we all breathe. That thing is legalized discrimination.

p. Perhaps you’ve read about discrimination in your high school social history classes or heard stories from parents about civil rights protests, but you have probably not lived it yourself. You probably thought it had been banished from American government long ago. I know I did. The defeat of institutionalized discrimination is, after all, a point of such national pride that we celebrate it every January during Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. But discrimination is still alive and well here in Williamsburg. And you are the target.

p. The Williamsburg City Council, led by Mayor Jeanne Zeidler, rules its eight and a half square miles with a shockingly unconcealed loathing for the William and Mary students that make up over half of the town’s population. There are many examples of this, but one of the most outrageous is the city’s open hostility to students who try to live in off-campus rental houses.

p. It started in 1991, when the city passed a law forbidding more than three non-related people to live together. (For non-math majors, that would be after the first three centuries of the College’s history, during which time no such law ever became necessary.) This law can only serve to prevent students from living off-campus. Most Williamsburg houses are very large and the only way students can afford them is by splitting the rent between several people.

p. Zeidler’s justification for the law seems to change with the seasons, but I’ll address some of her more common excuses for this particular bit of discrimination. Zeidler has said that allowing more than three unrelated people to live together would make parking on residential streets too tight. I live on Harrison Avenue, one of the most centrally located and student-heavy residential streets in Williamsburg, and there is always plenty of open parking. Indeed, I have never had a problem finding open parking on any residential Williamsburg street. This is because there are a limited number of street parking permits granted. If parking did indeed become scarce, the city could simply issue fewer permits.
Zeidler has also said that the goal of the law is to “maintain the single-family character of the city’s residential neighborhoods.”

p. The brazen discrimination of legislating what kind of people can live where is jaw-dropping — try replacing “single-family” with the words “middle class” or “Christian” or “white” and see if her logic still seems defensible. But even Orval Faubus, the Arkansas governor who worked to maintain the all-white “character” of his public schools until the National Guard interceded, probably thought he was justified.

p. Zeidler’s enforcement of the “three-person rule,” as it is known among students, has been ruthless. Most recently, Jan. 31, the city announced that it had found 38 violators of the rule. How many of the 38 victims do you suppose were students? That’s right — every single one. The students were told they would not be evicted until the end of that semester but the wording of the notice clearly implied that this might not be the case for future violators.

p. Worse, the city did not seek out the violators by following up noise complaints or parking violations or any other neighborhood disturbances. Rather, it only checked the College’s registry of student addresses. Any address with more than three students registered to it received an eviction notice. The city went after students and only students.

p. Not convinced students are the targets? Last August, the Williamsburg City Council voted to allow Busch Entertainment to house 80 Russian exchange workers in 20 motel rooms, then turned around and denied a permit for four students to live in a house together.

p. As far as I can tell, no one who was not a student at the College has ever been held accountable for this ridiculous rule.

p. Overcrowding of local houses, it seems, is not the real issue here. The only issue seems to be that the Williamsburg City Council does not like College students living here. And they want us to know it.

p. I wish I could tell you that this was the worst crime that Zeidler and the Williamsburg City Council commit against students, but it is not even close. Next week, this column will explore the extensive lengths to which the City Council has gone to block students from voting.

p. __Max Fisher is a senior at the College.__

Whether you are a savvy newspaper reader, or you just decided to pick up The Flat Hat to mop the sweat off your forehead as you carry boxes, fridges or toasters — which we’re pretty sure are illegal — through the staircases and halls of the Barrett and Dupont Hotels or the Botetourt Dungeons, we’re certainly glad you’re reading. We are also happy to have you, the new, diverse and talented freshmen class, here at the College.

p. What will follow in the coming days and weeks will be a whirlwind ride of new names and faces, getting lost on the way to class, bonding with your hall mates and, for your sake, hopefully picking up a sandwich with extra house dressing at the Cheese Shop. Immediately following all of this will be the fastest four years of your life: a hackneyed expression that you’ve probably heard from parents and friends, but whose meaning and validity you will soon discover.

p. All of this being said, we move on to another overused, yet applicable, phrase: dive in. There is no better way to approach your time here, particularly your first several weeks, than to visit the activities fair, explore on and off campus (but stay out of the steam tunnels), ask questions of upperclassmen, professors and staff, play sports with friends or run for a position on hall council or student government. Sure, you may not be able to participate in all 50 clubs you signed up for at the activities fair, but who cares? On a related note, try signing your friends up for everything possible on campus without them knowing — it’s hilarious.

p. You are beginning a very special time in your lives — a time of unparalleled excitement, apprehension, fun and, inevitably, a time that may necessitate more showers in a single day than you’ve ever taken before. Dive in and live before it’s too late.

p. And yes, we hate the name game too, but it actually is useful and may give you ammunition for senior year jokes and reflection.