Nothing to report

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Your Student Assembly did absolutely nothing during last Tuesday’s meeting. Nothing. The SA seems to have stumbled upon the lone inherent flaw of journalism: that if nothing happens, nothing can be reported.

Instead of leaving it at that, I urge all students to send prospective bills to their class senators, giving them no excuse to sit on their hands during a meeting. If you are unaware of your class senators because they are faceless cogs, just send your proposals to me and I will be sure to forward them along.

Here are a few I’ve been considering:

* Free hot dogs. All the time.
* Dissolving the SA and giving each student his or her share of the consolidated reserve.
* Political donations to any local politician who isn’t a grumpy old man.

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