Live from the Third Eye Blind Concert: A Review

It was just that time of year again, folks: Charter Day! And we all know what that means  Charter Day concert! And we all know what that means — someone has to write a review of the concert! And we all know what that means — I’m that someone! (To anyone who was hoping for a serious review, I am deeply, deeply sorry.)

Anyway, rather than write a standard review (which is boring and takes way too much time), I figured I’d take part in what they tell me is a popular trend in journalism these days — LiveBlogging! The following are my thoughts and experiences from this year’s Charter Day concert, unedited and unfiltered.

OK, here we go.

6:30 : OK, it’s just a concert. I can do this. So what if I only got 3 hours of sleep last night? Plenty of people are gonna be incoherent anyways. I’ll fit right in. Now, where did I put my shoes?

6:45: It’s raining outside? You have got to be kidding me. Well, looks like leather shoes weren’t a good idea. Well, I’ll be fine so long as the rain doesn’t pick up.

7:05: The rain picked up.

7:30: Sweet, I made it! Now to find a seat, my friends and a towel. Starting with the towel.

7:45: OK, got a seat, and still 15 minutes to go before anything starts. Guess I’ll call my friends and let them know where I am. You know, when we originally made these plans I didn’t figure that this many people would be here — guess the advertising paid off. I mean, they did market this concert pretty aggressively, and I mean aggressively — those posters were plastered everywhere. I’m pretty sure I saw a squirrel with one pasted to his tail.
8:00:  Holy s*** there are a lot of people here. Also, the opening act started? I can’t really tell; it just sounds like noise to me. My hearing starting to go before the concert even takes off isn’t a good sign.

8:15: Where was my seat again? Oh, up there and currently being occupied by a rather large and angry-looking townie. I’m just gonna go…uh, someplace else now…
8:20: Alright, finding my friends probably isn’t gonna happen. But finding a seat totally will!

8:25: Found a seat, but I’m bored.

8:26: Made the decision to LiveBlog the concert. So far, so good!

8:27: Realized I had no paper to write on. So I’m typing this on an iPhone. A tad bit annoying, but I’ll survive.

8:35: Even the people on the floor are bored. As in, just kind of standing and chatting bored. I don’t know whether to feel sorry for the band or the people down there. It must be terribly difficult to talk with such loud music playing next to you.

8:40: Called a friend on the floor to ask for comment. No response is forthcoming — looks like my hypothesis is confirmed.

9:15: Um, OK, guys? Could someone please turn the lights back on? Seriously, there’s like, a billion people here, and I can’t see where I’m going.

9:16: Alright, fine – lights staying off. I can deal with this. I’ll just make my way back to my seat and —

9:17: —slip and fall on a pile of what I hope was water. Man, am I glad I kept that towel from earlier.

9:20: OK, the band’s started. They seem OK, I guess. Although according to the drunk people behind me, “This is the best expletive concert ever!” So I guess people are enjoying themselves. (Seriously though, they are really, really drunk.)

9:21: By the way, the expletive? “F**k-aroni.” There’s one I’ve never heard before.

9:23: MY EYES. Can’t…see…to…type…treaeasdasdalksd.

9:24: Alright, time out people. No one told me there would be strobe lights here. It’s a good thing that I’m not epileptic, otherwise – wait, I think the guy in front of me is having a seizure! Someone call an ambulance!

9:25: Nevermind, he’s just really, really bad at dancing. Also drunk. Very, very drunk. Which he is shouting at the top of his lungs, repeatedly. Truly, this man is a scholar.

9:30: So, is the band playing different songs, or just kind of smashing them all together? Not gonna lie, I can’t really hear the vocals. Or the melody. Or much of anything at all, other than sheer, raw, overwhelming bass.

9:32: Speaking of, I think my heart just stopped for a second.

9:33: Note to self: Anyone wearing a backward baseball cap and a polo shirt to the concert is probably not in the mood to discuss the musical finesse of the performance. Or to talk to you at all. Last time I try to ask a bystander for comment.

9:34: No, backward-baseball-cap-polo-shirt-dude, I don’t mind if you stand up and dance in front of my seat with your huge group of friends. By all means, please block my view.

9:36: The drunk guys behind me are singing along now. They’re flat, but to be frank I’m impressed that they’re in the right key at all. These kids might just have some potential.

9:40: Public Service Announcement #1: Pelvic Thrusting does not equal dancing.

9:43: Oh great, one of those “slow” songs. Without missing a beat, out come the cell phones. You know, wouldn’t it be funny if someone dropped their phone while they were holding it up?

9:44: Saw someone drop their phone while they were holding it up. It was, indeed, quite funny. That’s two confirmed theories in one concert, for those of you keeping score at home.

9:46: Just saw a couple try and clap to the music while grinding. They fell over onto a railing.

9:50: Those stupid strobe lights are acting up again, but they’re mercifully mostly focused on the band. For once, I have to hand it to backward-cap-polo-shirt-guy – he may be obnoxious, but at least he thought to wear sunglasses!

9:51: How does the drummer see with all those strobe lights focused on him? Come to think of it, this may have something to do with why I can’t feel any rhythm.

9:51: How does the drummer see with all those strobe lights focused on him? Come to think of it, this may have something to do with why I can’t feel any rhythm.
9:55: Group behind me has replaced singing with hooting like owls. Sadly, it’s an improvement.

9:58: Public service announcement #1: “Yeah,” “-Do”, and “Hey” do NOT count as lyrics. So don’t repeat them for 5 minutes and pretend that they are.

10:00: Hey, (other) drunk idiot behind me — no smoking! Whatever, he’ll get his – in 50 years, from lung cancer. Also, sweater vest dude in front of me — was it really necessary to bring a flask to the concert? You couldn’t wait an hour? Didn’t you just come from a party? That’s what you’re telling everyone.

10:02: Aaaaand the cell phones are out again. A few lighters, too. Man, it would suck if the smoke detectors went off right about now. Although, there are a couple of people on the floor properly slow dancing right now. Guess that’s a tiny measure of my faith in humanity restored — never mind the slow song’s over. They’re back to grinding now.

10:06: Sorry, singer-man, I’m not your friend. For a number of reasons, not the least because I’ve never spoken to you before. For concert banter, Third Eye Blind earns a solid C+.

10:10: Public service announcement #3: Please do not throwing up at concerts. That’s gross. (This one is directed at you, aforementioned sweater-vest-dude-with-flask. For your sake, I sincerely hope you know a good dry cleaner.)

10:15: Dear God, is this still going on? How much energy can these people possibly have? I mean, I lost interest a while ago.

10:21: Wow, I’m bored.

10:22: Hey, things are starting to get really interesting now! It’s like a whole different band is onstage! And they’re playing my favorite music; I’ve just got this urge to move around, and by God, I’m gonna do just that!

10:24: Finally, I’ve got some energy again! Hey, would you look at that – I just ran into some of my friends! Maybe this evening wasn’t a total bust after all.

10:30: Well, I’m back at my dorm. I just turned off my iPod, and I’m bringing this column to a close so I can go hang with my friends in the room next door. Good thing I left eight minutes ago — can you imagine the crowd getting out of William and Mary Hall right now? Place must be like a zoo.


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