College is a fairly great time — any environment that so readily provides you with soft-serve ice cream couldn’t help but be. The only downside of the whole experience is that we do have to inevitably learn things. That fact seems obvious, but often college is an even more learning experience than one might imagine. There are several aspects of college life — integral to the thing as a whole — that we mistakenly don’t approach as the learning experiences they are. Navigating the hassles of multiple-occupancy living, for example. Or discovering how to bargain hunt effectively at local grocery stores (hint: coupons). But the most neglected experience is the true art of throwing a successful party.

One might initially laugh off this sort of concern. “Studying my Orgo notes this weekend is obviously more important than hosting a party,” you say. But is it really, in the long run? Sure, in your future career as an award-winning chemist, those notes you studied would be useful, but do scientists not also like to boogie? To shake that groove thang? Surely they must.

I’d even go so far as to say that the hosting of various social gatherings is perhaps the most immediately applicable part of our college experience — not that the ability to calculate long-term bond prices doesn’t give it a run for its money. Whatever profession, career or life-path you might choose, you will at some point feel it necessary to throw a party. College is the time to learn to do it right.

To be fair, it’s a question I never really considered for at least the first year of college. The restrictions on freshman dorms are so stringent that only the truly daring would try to test them — and believe me, I’m anything but daring. However, as soon as you turn 21, it becomes a sort of obligation. You have a debt to society at large, in the amount of several bumpin’ parties a year.

It seems like a simple enough proposition until you remember all those horrible parties you’ve attended over the years. The kind where everyone from that one club you never really joined shows up and plays an awkwardly stinted (read: sober) game of kings, and your friend’s iPod breaks, so someone plays “Freebird” on “Guitar Hero” over and over. The only way you could get out was to fake an ear infection. Of course, all at one party, but you’re convinced they will at yours.

The problem is, despite being easy to pinpoint what makes a bad party, it seems more difficult to describe what elements form an obviously good party. I’ve been told by some that the essential element is a theme, which makes sense. The proposition, “Hey guys, I feel like drinking tonight. So c’mon, waddaya say?” isn’t particularly convincing. Not to mention, the ability to create themed drinks and even sparsely decorate is always generally welcomed. But there’s always the chance that the theme overwhelms the actual party. Take, for example, every Halloween party ever held. I don’t care how good a pirate costume you found at the thrift store, you just end up looking creepy. The stuffed bird isn’t helping.

Others say it’s the mix of people that’s important. You want enough unrelated people so that there’s some mingling, but not so unrelated that they separate out like a poorly mixed drink. On that note, don’t pre-mix drinks. No one in their right mind trusts them, and really the idea’s a bit date-rapeish.

Those factors aside, there seems to be something more to the equation, some magical element that makes some parties more memorable than others. Of course, that key element might just be booze, but for argument’s sake let’s assume otherwise. I say we can find it. We can pioneer this new realm of study and perhaps, one day, find a cure for lame parties.

So everybody — science majors especially — put down the textbooks and start experimenting.

__Kevin Mooney is the Flat Hat Confusion Corner columnist. He is a fan of scientific experiments himself.__

Combining the allures of fashion, freebies and live music with the potential for a green, sustainable campus, the College of William and Mary Student Environmental Action Coalition celebrate America Recycles Day Sunday from 2 p.m. to 5 p.m. in the Sunken Garden. The event will feature a recycled fashion show at 4 p.m., intended to encourage students to find creative ways to reuse old materials with the incentive of free food, entertainment and the chance to win free WaWa gift cards.

The fashion show will feature dresses and outfits made from old clothes as well as used recyclable materials such as cardboard, magazines, newspaper, plastic bags and cans, assembled with tape, string or wire. The reusable creations will be judged by College President Taylor Reveley as well as professor Regina Root, Katherine Downs ’13 and Blaise Springfield ’13.

Professor Root’s freshman seminar “Ethical Fashion” examines sustainable design practices and the fashion industry’s impact on human laborers as well as the environment. These two facets of fashion and environmentalism will combine in SEAC’s fashion show, furthering the group’s overall goal of increasing recycling awareness.

Currently, the College’s recycling program is maintained by student volunteers from a variety of campus organizations, including SEAC, which manages the recycling at large events.

“We have a hard time at football games — we end up filling 10 to 12 trash cans with recycling, but people just don’t do it — they don’t have as much awareness [in outdoor venues],” SEAC member Stephanie Burton ’10 said. “The College’s recycling system is run by student volunteers, which is not very sustainable. This is something the College should be addressing.”

Many groups, off-campus organizations included, have contributed to SEAC’s American Recycles Day event.
“So many people are really into the cause, so it has turned into an awesome collaborative effort between SEAC, the Student Assembly and [Alpha Phi Omega],” Burton said. “We all want to try and promote awareness and teach students about recycling.”

Dining Services will donate sugar cookies and apple cider as free refreshments. Recycled notebooks have been provided by APO, free Harris Teeter reusable shopping bags will be given away and “Take Back the Tap” water bottles will be for sale. Other entertainment will include four bands as well as a 24-foot parachute like the ones used in elementary gym classes for the audience to play with.

Recent research by the Committee on Sustainability has highlighted inefficiencies within the College’s waste management system. In response, SEAC’s projects have become more ambitious and policy driven, encouraging the College to enact more sustainable practices. While the group has campus wide goals, the America Recycles Day event will exemplify imaginative ways for individual students to reuse old materials.

“The environmental implications of resource use go beyond just waste versus recycling, and this event aims to highlight the value of reusing materials and reducing consumption overall,” said Caroline Cress ’12. “The fashion show is all about promoting fun ways to get people thinking about how everyday materials can be reused in practical and innovative ways.” Besides the official display of wearable fashions, the SEAC event will feature a craft table where students can learn how to make a wallet out of an orange juice carton, for example.

Jane Morris ’13, whose wardrobe already feaures a salvaged item, is preparing a dress made from brown packaging, plastic bags, old beads and bottle caps. Her pants are a hodge-podge of colorful fabrics that hung on the wall of the SEAC office for years.

“I thought, ‘there is no point in them just hanging there,’ so I took them down. I’m going to create a piece of art to go back up on the wall in its place,” she said as she sat on the floor stringing beads and bottle caps together.

“After materials cross the line into the dump, whether they are haute couture, or old refrigerators, or what have you, once they cross that line, they are trash and it is illegal to take it out,” Morris said. “We are ahead of the curve — we are finding beauty in people’s trash.”

Walk into Tyler Hall on a typical afternoon, and it is virtually silent. This is one of the features of the building that some professors find most objectionable.

“The problem is there’s not much social congregating here,” English professor Adam Potkay said. “It used to be you would walk in [to St. George Tucker Hall] and there were people everywhere. Students would sit outside, hang out in the front hall, in the office. Now, it’s always quiet. I think the secretary’s lonely, because most of us just go in to check our mailboxes and leave.”

This semester, both the English and linguistics departments have moved into Tyler for unspecified durations while Tucker, historically used as the library and the law school, prepares for major renovations. While there is plenty to look forward to with Tucker’s renovations — new classrooms, spacious student lounges and an all-around homey feel — the temporary location is not without problems.

“The environment here is difficult,” professor Monica Potkay said. “Most English classes are discussion based, and the way the classrooms [in Tyler] are set up, they’re set up for lectures. It’s hard to get things started.”

It is not just the classrooms that have changed.

“My old office was just beautiful,” Adam Potkay, said sitting in his desk chair in his new first-floor Tyler office. “I was up on the third floor, which was designed as offices for law professors, so they were really nice, and I had it painted red.”

The walls in his new space are bright white. Even with the loss of his old office, Potkay says his new space has its benefits, such as the view.

“I have more shelf space here,” Potkay said, gesturing at at his packed shelves. “Almost all of us have these big windows … I can look out here at the leaves falling and the Sunken Garden. It’s very … English.”
While some enjoy the new view, not all the displaced professors find themselves completely satisfied.
“Although my office is pretty and sunny, it is usually very, very cold,” professor Deborah Morse said. “I rarely work there because of this, which is a shame.”

Monica Potkay said that Morse’s complaint is not uncommon.

“I’ve heard a lot of complaints about the heating and air conditioning in the building,” she said, “[But] there’s no sewer smell [in Tyler], and Tucker also had a lot of heating problems.”

Logistics are another problem for many of the professors. True to stereotypes, many of the English and linguistics’s professors’ offices in Tucker were filled with many years worth of books, manuscripts and stacks of papers, all of which had to be moved to their new locations.

“I have so very many books, and about half of them won’t fit into my new, smaller office in Tyler,” Monica Potkay said. “They are, therefore, stacked everywhere in my office.”

While there are professors who are uncomfortable with the move, some view the change as positive.

“I love it,” professor Nancy Schoenberger said. “I have a nicer office, nicer view. I will always have a sentimental fondness for Tucker, but I was way up on the third floor, and I felt very isolated from the rest of the department.”

Schoenberger’s new office is on the first floor, just around the corner from the main office. For most professors, the biggest challenge was the move itself.

“It’s always hard moving,” Schoenberger said. “It’s hard to give away books. But there is something satisfying in getting rid of 20 year old papers, a nice healthy domestic purge, if you will.”

While the changes are frustrating, Monica Potkay emphasized that the move is only temporary and the professors will have to make do.

It is unknown how long professors will be dealing with the switch. With the plans and the budget for Tucker’s renovations submitted to the state, all that is needed now are the funds.

Tyler is fine for now, but no matter how well they have adapted, many of the professors don’t feel quite at home in the new building.

“The building doesn’t have quite the same character,” Adam Potkay said. “Things here are a little too … white.”