Page 296 – Flat Hat News

‘Juno’ matches box office success of big-budget winter blockbusters

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January 18, 2008

This holiday season proved great for movies — for audiences, there are some genuinely good films out there to enjoy, and for studios, the box office received a much-needed jolt.

p. The two major releases over the holidays were Will Smith’s “I Am Legend” and the anticipated sequel to Nicholas Cage’s “National Treasure.” What ended up landing in the same class as such blockbuster goliaths was the surprise hit, “Juno.”

p. “I Am Legend” stars Smith (“The Pursuit of Happyness”) as Robert Neville, the last man on Earth — Think “Cast Away,” but set in Manhattan with a dog and zombies in place of Wilson.

p. Like Tom Hanks in “Cast Away,” Smith was given a chance to display his acting chops, and did so remarkably, as his performance carries the emotion of the film. The audience truly understands the meaning of the word “intense” for the entire hundred minutes of the film.

p. This Smith blockbuster brought people to the theaters left and right, breaking Smith’s own box office records and those for the month of December with an opening weekend release of over $77 million.

p. Unlike “I Am Legend,” “National Treasure: Book of Secrets” is based around an ensemble cast that includes Cage (“Ghost Rider”), Helen Mirren (“The Queen”) and Ed Harris (“A History of Violence”).

p. There is a little less clue-hunting and a little more action in this sequel, but if you liked the first, you’ll like the second. This, and its more family-friendly marketing is making the sequel shape up to be as big of a blockbuster as its predecessor, but that’s to be expected from a Jerry Bruckheimer produced action-adventure flick.

p. Now, just because a movie’s a blockbuster and making beaucoup bucks at the box office doesn’t necessarily mean it’s award-winning. While these two films are good — and neither was completely panned by critics — award prospects are doubtful.
Generally the films recognized as the best of the year don’t break p. any box office records. Case in point: the recent Golden Globe nominees and winners. “Atonement” and “Sweeney Todd” won the highest honors at the awards, but box office totals just weren’t up to par with the holiday blockbusters. There is, however, one exception to that rule this year, and that is “Juno.”

p. The film stars relative newcomer Ellen Page as Juno MacGuff, a unique teenager who, after deciding to have sex one day out of a sort of boredom, gets pregnant. An unusual romantic comedy, the film’s authenticity is owed to its cast.

p. Page makes a perfect Juno, providing a quirky sarcasm reminiscent of many high school girls. Fleshing out the rest of the ensemble are J.K. Simmons (“Spider-Man”) and Allison Janney (“The West Wing”) as Juno’s wacky parents, Jennifer Garner (“Alias”) and Jason Bateman (“Arrested Development”) as the prospective adoptive parents, and Michael Cera (“Superbad”) as Paulie Bleeker, Juno’s almost boyfriend.

p. Perhaps the movie’s realism is its charm, but whatever it is, the critics loved it. It was nominated three times at the recent Golden Globes, and there’s even Oscar buzz surrounding the film.
What makes the film an anomaly, however, is that audiences flocked to it — it’s soon to break records for Fox Searchlight, the movie’s distributor, and it’s just as popular now as it was a few weeks ago. Just last weekend, Juno was third at the box office, surpassing both ‘Legend’ and ‘National Treasure.’ That doesn’t mean the mincy indie-film has finally conquered the blockbuster, but with a budget of only $2.5 million, its returns are looking just as nice.

‘Sweeney Todd’ slices up film musical conventions

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January 18, 2008

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“Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street,” the devilishly gruesome film musical about a barber with a propensity for slitting throats, opened strangely enough on Christmas. Touche, Tim Burton.

p. Having heard the Broadway cast of ‘Sweeney Todd’ sing the show’s eerie melodies, I was aware of the show’s gory thematic elements. I was doubtful, however, that the film version of the musical would warrant its R rating for “graphic, bloody violence.” Surely any musical, no matter how gruesome, would be given at most the drastically widened PG-13 rating. But to my surprise, ‘Sweeney Todd’ delivered on the gore with utter exuberance for the better half of the film.

p. Sweeney Todd has always been one of those iconic theatrical roles, and the casting of Johnny Depp (who won the 2008 Golden Globe for Best Performance by an Actor in a Musical or Comedy) was equal parts predictable and bizarre. Sure, he has a long history with director Burton (“Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,” “Edward Scissor Hands”), but how could the acclaimed actor muster the pipes to sing the extremely difficult and demanding score, strung by renowned composer and lyricist Stephen Sondheim? And what about the casting of another of Burton’s cronies (coincidentally his wife), Helena Bonham Carter (“Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix”), as the meat pie matron Ms. Lovett? Could the mousy-voiced Bonham Carter and the suave yet hitherto song-less Depp hash out this difficult show?
Well, yes and no …

p. In a film version of a musical, you need more than just a singer who acts. So Burton got actors and asked them to sing. With that being said, these actors who sang did exactly that: they acted, and they acted like they could sing. It worked for the most part. Bonham Carter played Ms. Lovett with an air of melancholy to match her wispy, albeit hard to understand voice, and Depp gave the barber a deep malice that wavered viciously.

p. Burton chose to draw out the characters through the songs, which comes as a welcome change in the musical movie genre after such beloved but thoroughly shallow films as “The Producers” and “Hairspray,” the latter of which ‘Sweeney’ beat out for the 2008 Golden Globe for Best Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy.

p. “The Producers” and “Hair-spray” may have ripped their respective musicals straight from the Broadway versions and added in real buildings and new actors, but ‘Sweeney Todd’ is different in how it doesn’t seek to copy the musical onto the screen, which almost always fails when it comes to artistic merit.

p. Instead, it slashed the musical’s songs, sometimes altogether if they hindered the story in any way. Of more than 25 songs featured in the musical, only about 11 remained. While die-hard fans will scoff at the merciless cuts left on the editing room floor (or, more appropriately, the barbershop floor), this editing helped to keep the focus on the actors and not on a flashy, bloody mess that Burton so longingly hoped to avoid.

p. And speaking of bloody mess, ‘Sweeney Todd’ is not for the squeamish, though the killing in the movie is not what I would call realistic in the least. I can honestly say that with ‘Sweeney,’ for the first time, I witnessed someone singing a sweet, remorseful ballad while slashing out someone’s trachea.

p. The cinematography of the film is visually stunning. Directing in his traditional style, Burton uses deep blues, browns, blacks, reds and grays to portray a venomous London. Though it is very obvious when the camera dips in and out of live action and computer-generated images, the edgy camera effects and dizzying run through London are truly a feast for the eyes.

p. Although the movie has many positive aspects, the plot tends to drag once you get tired of the actors’ singing and Sweeney slashing throats. I would not recommend this movie to someone looking for something mainstream, despite the A-list stars, awards and director.

p. But for those looking for something a little more exotic, suspenseful, and musical but not glittery, ‘Sweeney Todd’ may just be that perfect blend of sugar, spice, and everything — well, you know.

‘Sarah Connor Chronicles’ fills void, ‘24’ still sorely missed

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January 18, 2008

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“Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles” is, by a good margin, the best new show on television. Period.

p. Well, maybe I should rephrase that. ‘The Sarah Connor Chronicles’ is the only new show on television.

p. It is true that Fox’s new series, a spinoff from the classic James Cameron directed “Terminator” film franchise, seems to be the only new show on TV today. With the crippling writers’ strike, it won’t be long before your favorite television stations run out of the few shows they have already written, filmed and in the can. After that (or until an agreement is reached), we’ll be forced to deal with a slew of second-rate game shows, talk shows and reality shows, the single bright exception being this: the happenings between “Terminator 2: Judgment Day” and the “Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines.”

p. Now, I’m a “24” fan. A big one. In fact, the ongoing historical documentary charting the heroic actions of Jack Bauer and his CTU cohorts is about the only program I follow religiously. So you can imagine, then, that the prospect of a spring semester without my weekly fix was, for me, unsettling to say the least. Stupid strike.
p. But then I caught the pilot of Sarah Connor’s time traveling, cyborg battling ‘Chronicles’ last weekend and had a reaction to the strike I hadn’t before. Though I still miss “24,” I couldn’t help but admit that had there never been a strike, and had “24” been completed and aired in January, I would never have had the chance to follow the ‘Terminator’ series — and what a horrible prospect that would have been.

p. Frankly, “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles” is awesome. I’ve proven to myself that I only have time for one show week-in, week-out, and if it were “24” there would sadly be no ‘Terminator.’

p. And just what makes ‘The Sarah Connor Chronicles’ so captivating? Some argue that, since it’s all we’ve got, we’ve lowered our standards. I, however, would argue a different point. The show rocks because we all already love the “Terminator” story. What better way to break a television slump than by reintroducing an old standard?

p. After the success of ‘Terminator 3,’ it’s been proven that 21st-century special effects and a female terminator can sell just as well as the series’ original installments, so the move to television was a no-brainer. In fact, it was immediately apparent during the pilot that the show was planning on capitalizing on the success of ‘Terminator 3’ by keeping with the female terminator idea, this time played by Summer Glau (“Firefly”) as a young, hip, hot terminator named Cameron.

p. We all know why ‘Terminator 3’ introduced the idea of a female terminator. Sure, there’s the femme fatale notion, that a sexy woman — one that’s made of indestructible metal — can do much more damage than a beefy guy. But let’s all be honest — male fans were sick of seeing dudes go naked through the time portal. Sex sells, and the prospect of a female terminator showing up in the buff sells. ‘Chronicles’ took the exact same idea, and used it within the pilot’s first 15 minutes. Sarah Connor, John Connor and Cameron the female wonder go through a time portal for some classy, nude time-traveling action.

p. Sex also sells with the new, younger incarnation of Sarah Connor, played by Lena Headey. You probably remember Headey from her gratuitous, slow-motion sex scene in “300” as Leonidas’ queen.

p. So what more could a guy want from a primetime, strike-time, mid-season rebound epic? There’s certainly action — a shotgun-to-the-face filled battle with the evil terminator opens the series with a bang (literally). And there’s certainly sex — see above paragraphs. I suppose there’s a certain Jack-Bauer-less quality that takes some getting used to, but the world isn’t perfect. I never thought I’d say it, but, in a way, I’m content. Thank you, Fox.

p. __Conor admits he has a solid man crush on Jack Bauer, but insists it’s “purely professional.”__

Ron Paul leads libertarians in ’08

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January 18, 2008

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Ron Paul sports outsized ears and a big goofy grin in his photos. On stage, he’s easily flustered and has a tendency to totter about. In short, Ron Paul is like your grandpa — except he’s running for president. Unlike your grandpa, people are listening to him and handing him boxes brimming with cash.

p. In the fourth quarter alone, the man raised nearly $19 million, a sum just south of what Sens. Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama received in the months before. And in Michigan’s Republican primary on Tuesday, he placed fourth, beating out both Rudy Giuliani and Fred Thompson.

p. It’s enough to make you wonder: What exactly has grandpa been up to?

p. Ostensibly he’s a Republican representative from Texas’s 14th congressional district (home to suburban Houston, petrochemical plants and rice farms), and, while he is everyone’s favorite punching bag during presidential debates, he’s no Dennis Kucinich. Instead, Dr. Paul is the somewhat wacky face of the newest (some might say oldest) idea to come trundling across the land. In supporters’ words, it’s a Ron Paul Revolution — in ours, it’s libertarianism.

p. Socially liberal and fiscally conservative, libertarians have been associated with the lunatic fringe over the years, mostly because they’ve been linked to silly plans like wanting to blow up the IRS. More reasonably, and more recently, they’ve been raising legitimate questions and using Paul as a conduit. And, as he says himself, there’s nothing all that radical about their desire to return to the limited government outlined in the Constitution.

p. Indeed, why should legislators like Obama mandate the production of corn ethanol when it can be created much more cheaply and efficiently from things like sugar cane? Is it perhaps because folks like Obama want to see smiles and open wallets from farmers across the Midwest?

p. As the rest of the country watches food prices climb — since everything is corn-fed or contains high fructose corn syrup — one wonders exactly how this benefits everyone else. However, one does not wonder how it benefits Obama.

p. It’s this disillusionment across the nation, then, and not necessarily Paul himself, that explains his fundraising success and persistent presence at the debates. For the most part, he’s simply the product of propitious circumstances. But who can fault him for capitalizing on them?

p. And now is certainly an easy time to do so.

p. Just consider some of the ammunition: a Congress that continues its spending bender on borrowed cash (Democrats already broke their pay-as-you-go pledge); a president who’s evidently added civil liberties to his Axis of Evil; and a tax code that proves that 10,000 accountants given 10,000 typewriters and the better part of the century won’t produce anything remotely resembling the work of Shakespeare. Maybe it’s time to send in the chimps.

p. Paul also benefits from the fact that, unlike the last Libertarian candidate for president, Michael Badnarik, he has a legitimate profession and constituents who enjoy re-electing him. The latter was (and I’m not making this up) a skydiving instructor. Who wants to contribute to a man whose greatest impact might be between his own face and a farmhouse roof?

p. In one significant respect, though, the two men are more alike than ever. They will not be president. Fortunately, it doesn’t end there. Ron Paul is more than one man. He is a movement.
Andrew Peters is a junior at the College.

Editorial Cartoon (Jan. 18)

Variety

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January 18, 2008

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Same old Williamsburg, same old New Town

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January 18, 2008

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Since October, the Virginia Gazette has hosted an internet forum in which veteran Williamsburg residents can reminisce. The feature, “You know you’re from Williamsburg when” boasts more than 10 pages of ’Burg lore. Most of its entries memorialize bygone businesses and traffic patterns, e.g., “Do you remember when the first stoplight in town was at the A&P?”

p. This is the kind of front-stoop fraternizing we have in our futures. Assuming we can thwart global catastrophe — a dicey supposition to say the least — Williamsburg is still going to be around when we’re 70. And if, to kick around old times, we deign to return to our alma mater, will we like what we see?
Probably not.

p. Taken en bloc, we 20-somethings are already more resistant to change than you’d expect.

p. Note the abuse heaped on Facebook whenever it slightly modifies its interface. Note our disdain for the College’s new logo (though, in our defense, it sucks). Note the existence of Deadmalls.com, a site chronicling the demolished shopping institutions of our youth. (You know the ones — indoor, multilevel complexes with elaborate fountains, glazed-brick floors and cars for sale near the food court.)

p. But note first and foremost our indifference toward New Town, the commercial residential Mecca that deserves its own zip code. (Might have one. Too lazy to check.)

p. New Town, like every upscale social hub built in the 21st century, yearns to be European. An anonymous Gazette contributor — hopefully a paid advocate — claimed it was just like an Italian piazza. I haven’t spent too much time in Italy, but I never encountered piazzas bound by chain eateries and a cineplex. Furthermore, can an establishment erected circa 2005 offer any Old World charm beyond the ersatz?

p. New Town wants us. Last September they debuted an evening catering to the College’s undergrads. I don’t know how successful it was, but I haven’t heard rave reviews; in fact, I haven’t encountered anyone who went. Despite free transportation and targeted deals, New Town predominately attracts preteens and yuppies — what we were and will be, respectively. But not what we are.

p. I’m probably the exception to the rule, but remorse creeps over me when I visit New Town — patronizing its eateries, say, or catching a movie. By spending time and money there, albeit rarely, have I tacitly authorized its existence? Because I, like many others, would be happier if it had never been constructed or conceived of in the first place.

p. It’s a difficult venue to attack without delivering a tired rant about the superfluity and inanity of consumer culture; suffice to say I’d prefer the absence of New Town to its presence. I wish its land were unoccupied. I wish I could negate corpocracy and overpopulation, giving the Gazette nostalgists a Williamsburg attuned to their memories: easygoing, communal and maybe a little insular.

p. It’s not that all change is bad; certainly many of Williamsburg’s recent transformations have been for the better. I think the bigger problem is that we 20-somethings see no way to obtain any positive paradigm shift. We want change, after all, and 2008’s presidential election is predicated on major change being possible. But these issues — the Gazette nostalgia trip, Deadmalls.com, my frustration with New Town — stem from a sense that we’re all powerless over Williamsburg’s evolution, to say nothing of our country’s.

p. Confronting the multitude of construction both on and off campus, I can’t help but see each project as excessive and undeserved in different ways. “High Street,” for instance, a New Town-esque carnival-market whose name reeks of anglophilia, is currently being brought to Richmond Road. By 2028, it may have merged with its sister to form New High Street Town.

p. But it’s too late to stop that project, just as it’s too late to halt renovations of College buildings or the auction of street names to wealthy alumni.

p. What could I do, anyway? Stand in the path of the wrecking ball? Boycott every franchise in town? Write my congresspersons with a flurry of expletives?

p. No, no, no. The nicest thing I can do is graduate and skip town — old and New alike — for good.

p. __Dan Piepenbring is a senior at the College.__

Mae accepts controversial invitation to play Charter Day

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January 18, 2008

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Often celebrated as a stuffy day of tradition for the College, this year’s Charter Day festivities will celebrate the event on a rather unorthodox fashion — by filling the University Center Chesapeake with rock and roll.

p. The UCAB music committee’s most recent project will promote the old along side the new at the Charter Day weekend concert featuring modern rock troupe Mae on Saturday, Feb. 9 at 9 p.m.

p. Mae got its start in Norfolk, in 2001 and is known for hits such as “Suspension” and “The Everglow.” The College’s ties with the band go further than locality, though. Courtney Davison ’11 used to date bassist Josiah Schlater back when he played for Tokyo, Mae’s opening band from Virginia Beach.

p. “It’s strange because in high school he was always a Mae fan and now he’s a member,” Davison said about Schlater. The bassist is currently a touring member of Mae.

p. While Davison is not a Mae fan herself, she was aware of the band’s growing presence in Virginia Beach during high school.

p. “They were always one of those bands I just assumed the boys with side-swept bangs and Mead composition notebooks filled with scribbles bemoaning the ends of two-week relationships, sulking around the halls of my high school listened to, but I did notice that they increasingly appealed to a wider, often Christian, audience,” Davison said.

p. Besides hailing from right down the road, it seems that the band should also fit in well with the studious nature of the College. According to an interview on AbsolutePunk.net, the band’s name is an acronym for the concept “Multi-sensory Aesthetic Experience.” This was taken from a class drummer Jacob Marshall took while attending Old Dominion University.

p. The reaction to Mae’s upcoming the performace has been mixed, based on the “Mae at William and Mary” Facebook event. Last semester marked the first occasion for which UCAB used Facebook to advertise events such as the Guster performance at Homecoming and the Bright Light Fever show. These shows received a relatively few comments, but an overall positive response online on the social networking site.

p. In contrast, “Mae at William and Mary” has more than 130 wall posts. While many praise UCAB for bringing the band to campus, about half of the comments voice adamant complaints about the band and blame UCAB for discontent with past concerts.

p. “We’re both bummed at the negativity, but also delighted that there has been such an outpouring of vocal responses,” UCAB Music Committee Chair Jeanna Occhiogrosso ’08 said. “We are putting our faith in the old advertising adage ‘no publicity is bad.’”

p. Though many of the Facebook comments offer suggestions for bands that people would rather see come to campus, members of UCAB say they are not worried for the concert because the guest list features over 500 guests.

p. “Musical taste is very personal for students,” Patrick Ross M.A. ’09 said. “I think they are reacting from their hearts and are passionate about music, which is great.”

p. Though Mae won’t have to travel too far from their hometown to visit campus, the process of planning the Charter Day concert was a long and complicated road for UCAB. After many bands fell through due to cost and availability, UCAB faced an intimidating deadline to find an affordable and popular act. With their locality and price, Mae seemed a perfect fit, but the Facebook group seems to show many students disagree.

p. UCAB is not phased by these dissenters, however.

p. “The main outcry with Mae seems to be the fact that the band is ‘too mainstream,’” Ross said. “Interestingly enough, three years ago people complained that we didn’t bring enough mainstream bands. Not everyone will like all of the music we bring to campus and that means we’re doing our job. If we only cater to one type of musical taste, we’re ignoring a significant portion of the student body.”

p. While their new form of online advertising makes complaints public, UCAB finds it to be a proactive forum for the difficult process of booking a band.

p. “Music is very personal to people and Facebook is a quick and easy way to communicate,” Assistant Director of Student Activities Joe Lowder said. “I think it is great feedback for UCAB and a great opportunity for people to learn about the booking process and to get involved in it.”

p. UCAB has recognized that due to passionate and diverse musical tastes, there will likely always be mixed sentiments about campus events.

p. “There is no way everyone on campus will be pleased with every concert, comedian, speaker, cultural event or special event that UCAB plans,” Lowder said. “However, since UCAB has over 100 events a year, there should be something that appeals to a large portion of the campus at some point.”

p. Though Mae’s style does not follow the musical taste of the entire campus, UCAB expects tickets to sell out.

p. Tickets for the Mae Charter Day concert are $5 for students and $15 for the public.

After a scheduling conflict last semester, the ‘demanded’ Ying Yang Twins will perform at Matoaka Amphitheatre in March

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January 18, 2008

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Combined efforts by the UCAB and online voting by passionate student fans will provide the College with a unique and highly anticipated performance, as the Ying Yang Twins will bring their Southern crunk flavor to Matoaka Amphitheatre Saturday, March 29 at 8 p.m.

p. The pair of hip-hop artists from Atlanta — whose credentials include the smash hits “Wait (The Whisper Song)” and “Whistle While You Twurk,” as well as noteworthy collaborations with other crunk staples such as Lil’ Jon — were originally scheduled to visit the College last spring after more than 260 students voted on the website Eventful.com to have them perform.

p. The website describes itself as a forum that “empowers users to influence where their favorite performers, candidates and other celebrities appear by creating viral grass-roots campaigns to ‘demand’ them in their town.”

p. While performers are not obligated to appear based on demand, the Ying Yang Twins used Eventful.com to determine which universities it would add to its spring 2007 tour.

p. The website also stated that “W&M has been keepin’ it Crunk ever since Thomas Jefferson stepped foot on Campus,” implying that students would be wise to keep the crunk alive by voting for the group.

p. The College placed first in the contest, with a current total of 284 votes. Close runners-up included Tallahassee, Fla., and Morgantown, W.V., with 198 and 160 votes, respectively.

p. The unrelated Twins agreed to appear at the College last spring, but a scheduling error required that they appear in Germany on the date they had originally scheduled the Williamsburg performance.

p. An apology letter, sent to Assistant Director of Student Activities Joe Lowder from Amy Hanks Public Relations, a representative for the duo, stated that the Ying Yang Twins would add the College to a future tour and acknowledged “full responsibility for the situation.”

p. UCAB Music Committee Chair Jeanna Occhiogrosso ’08 confirmed that the Twins would perform, and said that while UCAB had no direct role in attracting them initially, they began working with the group when the College won the contest.

p. “We were really anxious to get them to sign that contract,” Occhiogrosso said. “They’re clearly a respected duo in the music industry, and I’m both pleased to bring them to campus and really excited to see the show.”

p. Junior Music Committee member Kate Matthews ’09 said in contrast to past performers at the College, the Ying Yang Twins may attract a different crop of concert-goers who are familiar with the duo’s club-banging beats and simple vocal hooks.

p. “They’re a novelty,” she said. “People have danced to their music a lot at frat parties and other places.”

p. Occhiogrosso agreed with Matthews. “I think the Ying Yang Twins may have a flashier, more commercial look and sound than the other bands we’ve had at the college recently,” she said.
Members of UCAB were quick to point out that although the Ying Yang Twins concert is certainly a big-name event, there will still be the annual spring concert, which the College traditionally holds in April.

p. Occhiogrosso said that students could expect a much different act for the regular spring concert, though UCAB members would not comment on what bands they are considering.

p. “We are always aiming to please a wide group of music tastes,” Occhiogrosso said.

Child-like parents switch roles in graduation episode

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January 18, 2008

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Facing my last semester at Confusion Corner, I took a look through my past columns to get a sense of my progression as a student and individual. Turns out, I haven’t managed to get particularly far.

p. I began the year looking at my options as a woman on the verge of employment, a long-term relationship and much anxiety. My parents’ refrain remains the same. Like a toga-clap chorus they hover always in earshot to say, “Give up! Give up! The lure of marriage is upon you! Marry a broker!” And yes, all of the exclamation points are necessary.

p. I thought about asking my editor to entitle this column something along the lines of “Graduation Sucks” in reference to both the literal and figurative whoring my parents suggest as a means of income post-graduation. But now that I’m faced with the prospect of employers reading my columns online, I think that would be uncouth and not particularly ‘good for business,’ as they say.

p. I never had any Beverly Cleary-esque angst during puberty to make my parents want to kick me out of the house. As it turns out, the unmitigated hatred between generations during that adolescence is fundamental to the proper distancing at age 22.

p. In fact, it seems there’s been a kind of familial arrested development in which my parents have reverted to needy children, and I, the resentful single parent, left by both of my sisters (the deadbeat dad in this metaphor) to care for these helpless creatures. Now I feel like I’m trapped in a “Degrassi” episode, smoldering with utter melancholy at the prospect of having to spend any time with Mom and Dad.

p. When I first left for college, my parents immediately turned my room into a den, replacing my bed with a futon and managing to lose a lot of my stuff in the process. Now that I’m on the cusp of leaving for good, they’re backpedaling.

p. One morning, when I was complaining about how awful it is to live for a month in a glorified office, my mother suggested she buy me a real bed.

p. “No, mother,” I said hastily. “I’m not moving in here. There’s no way I can live with you and Dad. I think it would be terrible for everyone involved.”

p. It all just came out at once. Nothing particularly offensive, and certainly not insulting, but my mother was pissed. Like, 13-year-old pissed.

p. She returned the next morning, still brooding. “I was really hurt by what you said to me last night.” It was straight out of an after-school special on how to talk about feelings. This was like nothing I’d ever experienced in real life before.

p. “Mom, listen, I didn’t mean to upset you,” I said, trying to think of what Pepper Ann would say. “I figured that you and Dad don’t really want me to move in, and honestly, it wouldn’t be comfortable to have three people in this tiny, two-bedroom apartment. I wouldn’t mind staying here for a few months until I got situated, but let’s keep our expectations reasonable.”

p. Situation diffused. After all of the education, all of the social training, all of the hard academic work, the hardest test of my maturity was learning how to use the hackneyed scripts of seventh grade tween-hood television shows. One could say, however, that I am very much a tween in my own right. With one foot on the comfortable turf of college and the other dangling over the ledge of adulthood, why would my parents want to hurl me out into unknown.

p. No matter what trite language I use to express this somewhat regressive state, I know that I’ll more or less be okay eventually. If not, I hear “Clarissa Explains It All” does exactly what it purports to do.

p. __Charlotte Savino is a Confusion Corner columnist. She’d rather model here life on Nickelodeon than daytime soap operas.__

That Girl: Rebecca Hamfeldt

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January 18, 2008

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One of Rebecca Hamfeldt’s favorite quotes is Buscaglia’s “Life is a paradise for those who love many things with a passion.” Rebecca has spent her years at the College finding and promoting those things about which she is passionate — InterVarsity, DoG Street Journal and Students for Life. It is not surprising that her overflowing enthusiasm and commitment to education, service, faith and her family has led Rebecca into her own Garden of Eden — a paradise that will soon involve fulfilling her dream of teaching disadvantaged youths.

p. **Tell me about your dream job.**

p. I’m extremely excited because somehow, through some amazing blessings, my dream job is my plan for after college. For the last seven years, I’ve wanted to be a high school English teacher, and for the last three years, I’ve wanted to work to give inner-city students more opportunities. I tell people, if they want to understand me better, to watch “Freedom Writers;” that’s my dream right there.

p. So, I just found out that I’m going to be teaching high school English in Charlotte, N.C. with Teach for America and will be living with one of my very best friends, Janelle Richardson, who was accepted into the corps with me. Every part of it really is a dream come true.

p. After my two years with the corps, I want to go on to be a guidance counselor or potentially a school administrator. I definitely want my career to be centered around making a difference in the lives of students who need someone to believe in them, because that’s what my teachers and guidance counselors have done for me, year after year.

p. **What made you want to focus your interests on inner-city students?**

p. [I traveled] to inner-city Wilmington, Del. for my sophomore and junior year spring breaks. I went with InterVarsity to work with the UrbanPromise ministry there. Those two weeks have been probably the most significant and life-changing experiences I’ve had. My faith grew tremendously in Wilmington, and I met some amazing kids who made a huge impact on me. I knew, even sophomore year, that working with inner-city kids, or kids from a low socioeconomic background, was something that had to be a part of my life. It’s a huge part of why I applied for Teach for America.

p. **What have been some of your favorite classes at the College?**

p. I’m a big English major dork, so my favorites have all been in that department. I took study of language my sophomore year, and that class completely changed my ideas about how people communicate. Languages are so fascinating. If I could do college over, I would be a linguistics major.

p. My other absolute favorites were all of my writing classes with Professor [Emily] Pease. If you get a chance to take a class with her, do it. She is amazing, and I’ve learned so much about writing and about myself from her classes.

p. **How was growing up in New Jersey?**

p. I’ve lived in the same house in Morristown, N.J. my entire life. No one wants to believe me, but Jersey actually is nice. I promise. Morristown is centered around a town green; it’s very New England, actually … And I don’t live anywhere near the turnpike.
Do you have any siblings?

p. I’m the oldest of four. I have three younger brothers — the oldest is a sophomore in college and the youngest is a freshman in high school. I always refer to them all as Timmy, Mikey and Petey. Tim is the comedian, Mike is the engineer and Pete is my buddy. My dad is all about his family. My mom is one of my very best friends; I’m becoming just like her [laughs].

p. **What is your favorite place on campus or in the ’Burg?**

p. I have a tradition with a good friend that, as often as possible, we take walks down DoG Street at night, just to talk about life and catch up. We always walk all the way down to the Capitol Building and head back. It’s something I’m really going to miss next year.

p. **What are you going to miss about the College?**

p. I think feeling such a part of a community here, feeling so at home and so supported, is invaluable. Just knowing that I have done things here that I would have never considered before is amazing and a testament to how this place challenges people, in a great way. I mean, I led an inner-city missions trip last year, I’m going to Paris this year — things that I would have never thought I’d do. I’m also really going to miss Aromas. I have a life goal to open my own Aromas some day, maybe on the first floor of my house, when I retire.

p. **And if you were to offer advice to the underclassmen, what would you share?**

p. Take advantage of everything you can here. I don’t think I can stress that enough to my friends who still have more time at W&M. When I accepted my admission here, I had no idea that William and Mary would bring me so, so much. I’ve definitely become that sappy senior, and I think a lot about how this place has changed me. It is simply amazing. Don’t lose out on any of those opportunities.

p. Look around, pay attention to the gorgeous campus you’re on and never forget that this is an incredible and unique place that both nurtures you and transforms you into someone you never imagined you could be. Dive in to the incredible culture here; you won’t regret it.

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