__I see Kelley Quinn looking around a bit hesitantly in Lodge 1. Soon after the hello and handshake, Kelley likes our meeting to a first date, but quickly soothes over any awkwardness in the situation with her off-beat sense of humor. Before long, it’s clear that Kelley is kinder and quieter than her level of publicity at the College of William and Mary might make her appear. She is very passionate about what she spends her time doing. A while into our conversation she opens up a bag of Trader Joe’s honey wheat pretzels, and after offering me some, begins on an evening snack. Candid and funny, she’s eager to tell me about growing up MTV-free, why she likes “Annie Hall,” and the story behind being featured in the Police Beat.__
**You seem so familiar to me because of 7th Grade Sketch Comedy and all the videos during my orientation.**
Oh God, that is terrifying. Mostly I’m just involved in things that end up being unfortunately visible and not usually by choice.
**What has it been like being an Orientation Aide and starring in their videos?**
I was an OA for two years and then I was an OAD for Yates. Anybody they could get over the summer pretty much they got to do this orientation video. I got made fun of a lot for it afterward because at one point they were like, “say three words describing William and Mary” and I was joking and said “sexy.” I figured there was no way they would put it in the video, but they did. Some creepy incoming freshman’s dad was like, “So, school’s sexy, huh?” I mostly got made fun of by my boss in admissions.
**What’s a cool class you’ve taken here?**
One of my favorite classes here was an upper-level art history seminar on Mary Magdalene. It was just about Mary Magdalene in art over the ages. It ended up being a hybrid of art history and religion and now I know a lot about her. I’m kind of obsessed about her.
**If I turned on your iPod, what would I be listening to?**
Something hip-hop. Somehow an inordinate amount of Tupac ended up on there. I was a pretty sheltered kid; my parents never let me listen to any of that. Hip-hop has largely been me reading old Wikipedia articles about Biggie and Tupac and discovering the East and West Coast rap battles. I especially like hip-hop artists who are socially aware or who tell stories with their music — Lupe Fiasco, Blue Scholars, etc. — not artists who, although they are fun to dance to, just degrade women or talk about money. I love all good music. This includes a love of anything with a horn section, Motown, classical music, indie rock and pop, rock, folk … anything soulful, beautiful, or absurd, with a good beat or good lyrics.
**Besides not listening to hardcore rap, what were you into as a kid?**
I had really weird obsessions. I mean I liked the things that everybody liked, like Cabbage Patch Kids and Beanie Babies for a while. I had a Pokemon phase, which I’m always embarrassed to admit. I didn’t know how to play the game but I liked the aesthetics, the animals. Really, the most formative part of my childhood was that I wasn’t allowed to have videos like the rest of my friends, and we didn’t have cable because my mom saw me do a dance to a Michael Jackson video once when I was two and I was like “Mommy, why does he grab his personal when he’s dancing?” And she was like, “Bye bye MTV, until you’re 16.” I ended up being a much more creative and weirder kid because I didn’t have those influences on me. Instead I was outside building leprechaun houses with my brothers.
**Are you into any TV shows now?**
I think I’m less reliant on TV because I didn’t watch it as a child. I try not to let myself watch too often because I think it takes up valuable time that you could spend with people. But I am very devoted to “30 Rock” — Tina Fey’s show — and “The Office.” I watch “Saturday Night Live” once in a while out of respect for the genre; [I don’t watch it] as much — partially because I’m always afraid I’ll subconsciously siphon off ideas for sketches. I just get nervous I’ll accidentally plagiarize.
**Have you seen any good movies lately?**
Let’s see, I’ve watched a bunch lately because I just got Netflix. I just for the first time recently watched “Annie Hall.” I loved it. It was my first encounter with Woody Allen and it was wonderful. I hadn’t seen any movies with Diane Keaton since she’s hit that “oh man she’s a crazy old lady wearing white body suits to award ceremonies.” Now I understand there’s a reason why everybody loves her. She was great in “Annie Hall.”
**What can you not leave the house without in the morning?**
Chapstick. I have an aversion to chapped lips. I never remember having needed chapstick before I started using it, so I’m pretty sure it has an addictive quality.
**I see you have black nail polish on.**
I rarely paint my nails. This was a delayed rebellious act. It’s one of those things my mom didn’t want me to do in middle school because she said I’d look like a bruise, so I let it simmer for a few years and just painted my nails black two days ago. Turns out she was right.
**What celebrity would you most like to meet?**
Tina Fey.
**Do you have any guilty pleasure songs?**
“It’s All Coming Back to Me Now” by Celine Dion. Also “Outrageous” by Britney Spears. They are equally absurd for very different reasons, but both may or may not be in the recently played folder of my iPod.
**Do you have any funny memories from freshman year?**
So many. Taliaferro is sort of a freak show. You have 50 freshmen living on the opposite side of campus from where everyone else is located. Actually one memory sticks out, and it’s also the only other time I’ve been in The Flat Hat, which is when I was in the Police Beat for prank-calling the entire dorm and playing “Mary Had a Little Lamb” on our keypads. We called every other room in the dorm and played the song with the electric tones on the keypad. We called our RA, but by that point it was really late, probably two or three in the morning and apparently the “Mary Had a Little Lamb” tone was ominous enough that she thought she should call the police and have her phone tapped.
**The police didn’t have to come did they?**
No, we heard some people talking about how the RA’s phone was tapped and how these crazy people kept calling her late at night, and me, having a ridiculous sense of guilt about everything, went to her and told her to untap her phone and that it was just us. It was reported as “A female student in Taliaferro Hall reported harassing phone calls,” and we were like “That’s us!” Our Orientation Aide framed it for us and everything.
**Any last hurrah for second semester senior year?**
You know that ferry that goes between Williamsburg and Jamestown? I want to get a bunch of people in cars to meet on the UC terrace or something and drive all in a line and all get on the ferry in succession. Then put the same mix CD in all of the cars and start playing it at the same time. We tried it once with only like five cars and it was a little lackluster. But that’s what I want to try before I graduate.
__Wish her luck — or even join her — on her ferry expedition 2009. I hope the ferry drivers like Tupac.__
